My husband and I met in 6th grade. He said that he liked my new pencil case , I told him to “Shut-up.” Well, at least that is what he says happened, I (thankfully) have no recollection of that conversation. We started “dating” in 8th grade which quickly ended with us rolling each others homes and making several crank calls. Hey, it was 8th grade. We became friends again in 10th grade and tried dating again junior year of high school…..and we have been together since!
Our engagement photo
We were married in April of 2000 after almost 10 years of dating (finally!). My point, and I do have one, is that we knew each other VERY well before we were married. We had discussed how we would handle finances and eventually a family. We were on the same page on every single topic. In 2003, we decided to adopt a puppy as our “training” to be parents. After one year of puppy parenthood (and 4 years of marriage), we decided we were ready to be real human parents!
Lily Catherine was born on January 31, 2005 and suddenly we were thrown into a world that no amount of “puppy-training” could have prepared us for. Don’t get me wrong, we LOVE being parents (so much that we had a second child last year), but you have to admit, your marriage changes once a baby comes into the picture.
I was shocked (and somewhat comforted) to learn in a recent study that 90% of couples admit that their relationship with their significant other was worse after having their first baby! Despite the fact that my husband and I could finish each other’s sentences, we still ran across parenting issues that we had not thought to discuss. I am in no way stating that my marriage is in jeopardy, but we have definitely had to take communication advice from a variety of places.
I have found that a great resource for relationship communication for both expecting couples and new parents. Expecting Words is a blog that tackles challenging pregnancy topics and provides useful information for expecting couples on how to communicate through the decision making process of a relationship. It “will cover everything from ‘how to complain with impact when you’re not getting the support you need’ to ‘how to explain your baby blues’.” I have also found some great articles providing couples activities that will help open the lines of communication.
My husband and I will make it….no doubt about it. We are both committed to our marriage and communication has always been one of our strong suits. Having our daughters has definitely changed our lives. We relish the good times and overcome the bad. All in all, I wouldn’t change a thing!
Has having a baby changed your marriage at all?
this article is a flashback from MomDot 2009/Guest Writer