The forum on MomDot started talking about birthday parties for kids. You know you have seen them…kids that invite 50 people to the gymnastics studio, full out ChuckECheese (*throwup*) parties, and even MTV has made an entire series on 16 year olds that get BMWs and 100K parties to celebrate their birthdays. *sidebar: I drove a 1978 Chevy Chevette-HATCHBACK* When I was 16, I got my drivers license and went to the movies and saw Maverick. I think its nice to do something special for your kids, but how much, is too much?
When Charlotte turned one, my DH was in Afghanistan and my family lived 10 hours away. I put a little cake on her high chair and let her go to town on the chocolate. That was our party. Her and I and cake. The hardest part was getting her to the bathroom and into the tub without too much chocolate on the walls from her tiny hands. I still remember how hysterical it was.
When she turned 2, we had some neighbors over, let her pick out her own cake, and had a Happy Feet at home bash. We lived in Ohio and her birthday was in January, so no outside for us! When she turned three, it was so insignificant, I cant even REMEMBER what we did. I know it was about 2 weeks after we had a fire in our home, so I can imagine it was spent in TLF, but thats all I remember.
Now, in january, she will turn 4. She goes to school, so she does have a few friends now, and we have some neighborhood kids we will invite over, but I just feel no inherent need to go out and spent $500 on my 4 year olds birthday.
My neighbor, whom I will say right now is totally nice, came over and gave us a birthday invite for their 1 year old this past week. Its a circus theme and they are having clowns, a magic show, and three PONIES they will be parading up and down the street. Now how do I not feel inadequate after all of that over a 1 year old? Charlotte’s going to start telling people we are not her real parents and we don’t love her if this is what we have to look forward to our whole lives in comparison.
Am I doing the wrong thing? Homemaking a cake, opening some presents, and celebrating my daughter with the ones that love her the most…or should I be sucking it up, bring her out to something much cooler then moms backyard.
Thoughts?
~Trisha
We have always kept our birthdays simple and I don’t think we will treat Evie’s any different. A few friends and family and dinner and cake. That’s all we’ve ever needed.
I think the most important thing is to do what you want to do as a family and not let others influence that decision. For Aiden’s first birthday, I was out of my mind with excitement and pride and we invited everyone, aunts, cousins, friends, everyone. It was huge. Then we decided not to do that every year cause that would be insane for me, too much work and money. So now we have our parents and siblings, a couple of our friends and their children and a neighbor or two that Aiden is friends with. It still adds up to like 30 people, but it’s not too bad.
This year we are having it at a golf course banquet hall because we also host Thanksgiving dinner for our families and that is a lot of cleaning and work for me to do at home twice in one month. His party is this Saturday. It is Spiderman themed. We are all excited.
But, the aunts and uncles and cousins are offended that we do not invite them every year and they tell us how upset they are, well my inlaws do. We just don’t let it bother us or change our decision. We have to do what we WANT to do, what we get excited about, not what others expect of us or what others do so we can keep up with the trends.
This is what kids remember when they get older:
Whether or not they felt safe.
Whether or not they felt loved.
Hugs, kisses and tea parties with Mama.
Unless the pony leaves a permanent shit stain on your driveway,
there will be nothing to show for all of that money except some pictures and a shit stain.
The kid wont remember a thing. It is the constant love and security that children thrive on….not fan-friggen-tastic parties. It’s all for show.
Im not sure its judging as much as its, are we spoiling our kids TOO SOON. I do strongly believe that new generations of children believe they are entitled to so much. They said kids coming out of college now believe that they should be making VP salaries overnight w/ a degree. I just often wonder if we dont breed that w/ extravagance early on.
I agree with Rebekah, we shouldn’t judge anyone on their birthday celebrations whether they are over the top or simple. Morgan was our miracle child, so her 1st birthday was huge for us. We wanted all our family and friends to help us celebrate what we were given and what they had gone through with us. It was a farm theme and yes we had real goats there (the goats were free because a family friend raises them). I know that she won’t remember it and could have probably cared less. It was definetely more for us than her, yet I wouldn’t have done it any other way. The 2nd year was a luau at our house, the 3rd at a child’s play place and the 4th at her gymnastics school. I enjoy planning parites – you could even say I get off on it so that also contributes to it. I would never talk bad about a mom who decides to have an intimate celebration at home. Whatever works for your family is what matters. I am not one to judge.
You gotta do what’s right for your family. Our kids when they’ve had parties they’ve all been at home and I make the food. Well, I order the cake, but that’s because I’m just not good at cakes. Our oldest loved his last party. When he turned 6 we invited his closest friends and had a cookout in the backyard. The kids played in the sandbox and on the slip n slide. That’s the nice thing about a June bday. His bday usually falls during AT, so my husband is rarely home for it. Our rule is we have parties on the years Daddy is home, which so far has been once every 5 years.
I hate birthday parties, it’s just not my thing. We have a rule that our kids can only have a friend party when they turn 5, 8, and 12. We have 3 kids, so I figure if I only have to deal with a party 9 times the whole time I am raising kids, I can do it. (Nothing expensive or over the top either.) The rest of the time, we have a small “family” party at home. Yeah, I guess you could call me a party pooper.
I don’t think you should ever feel bad about what you do to celebrate your child, whether its an over the top circus party or a small gathering of those most dear. We did a big party last year for Audrey’s 2nd birthday and we had a blast. We did it at home but we had 20 kids plus parents. People are still talking about our party because it was fun and different. The whole party cost about 350 bucks but we celebrated with another kid who had the same birthday so it only cost me $175. I personally remember my 4th birthday because my mom threw me a skating party. It was awesome and I loved it. I also had chuck e cheese parties for my 5th, 6th, and 7th birthdays. Iremember those parties I don’t really remember any of my others except my 13th, and 16th. We will be having another big blowout thisyear for Audrey but we live amongst another culture in a very small town, and it’s expected. This year we will have almost 40 kids plus parents. Because of theposition my husband holds in his company our choices are either a big party or no party. At then end of the day, I love mydaughter dearly, and Ilove to spoil her! Whether it’s with a little cake and just her family or a big party I know we’ll have a ton of fun and she will feel loved! I don’t think either parent is wrong or should feel bad for how they choose to celebrate their kids birthday just so long as you celebrate. I do thinkthe sweet 16 show is the extreme, most of those kids think they deserve that stuff simply for being born, and that just ain’t right!
Holy crap…your neighbors are really pulling out the stops for a one year old! Wowza. When Pea turned one, my brother and his wife and my mom came over. That was it. We had cake and sang. Simple, no stress and it was wonderful!!
Well, the forum people know my story. We did one over the top party for Mo and I will never do one again! We spent too much money and while she and her friends enjoyed it, I’m pretty sure they don’t remember a minute. There’s just no point. So I’m sticking with the sleepover deal for a few more years and we’ll enclude more friends as she gets older but for now, this is enough. She’ll probably remember a lot more about this one than any other party she has had. The other two (poor dears) have yet to have a “real” birthday beyond the neighbors, my parents and us!
I do tend to celebrate the kids’ birthdays with some flair, but I don’t over do it with clowns and ponies, etc. But it is up to us a parents to make sure that our kids feel special and that can only come from real love. yeah it’s nice to spend money on them (when we have it) but we have to teach them that it isn’t all about money these days and that there isn’t anything wrong with celebrating, just keep it in line!
I make a pretty big deal out of birthdays (of course, Babe has only had 2 so far) but that’s just because I’m wild for a party planning project. I don’t think I have ended up spending more than $150 or $200 and that includes food, decorations, invites and gifts. Ponies and clowns are just sort of tacky, in my opinion, so I would never do anything that ostentatious. Especially for a first birthday – ridiculous! And I think parties at home are way better than cookie-cutter party packages at some bowling alley or restaurant.
We have done every one of my son’s birthday parties (he turned six last summer) outside either in our yard or at a local park. The kids love playing and I don’t believe parents should spend outrageous amounts of money on entertaining other kids for a child’s birthday party.
My hubby and I were talking about this the other day. Kids’ parties these days are completely out of control. And it’s so easy to get caught up in it. My son turned 1 last month and we just had my parents and my grandmother. That is also who will be at my daughter’s 5th b-day party next month. I made Grayson’s 1 year cake, but I will be buying Abby’s because she wants a princess cake, and I’m not that good.
Kelsie’s first birthday I invited about ten of my friends that have been there to watch her grow up to celebrate and enjoy it with me (I’m one of the first Moms of my friends) I spent some money on it but it was more the fact of being able to get together with friends that have stuck around and enjoy it that we went out for it. I’m sure we’ll have a similar party for her 2nd as well as for Aubrey’s 1st. Am I gonna rent a million things and spend money on something they’ll never remember? yeah not so much.
We always had parties at home, and we only had friend birt6hday parties for certain years. 5,8,12,14,16,18 Other than that we just had family birthday parties. I think we were so excited about presents that the rest didn’t matter!
In the beginning with my first two, I did huge parties..but it did not take long for me to smarten up and just do family parties at home. And we usually eat out or get take out for my kids birthday’s. I really think that is enough for most birthdays. This year I will be spending a little extra for my daughter who will be 13 this Dec. I am thinking of doing a mother daughter day and going to Glamor Shots or something. Just something special since she will be a teen and is soooo looking forward to it
If you want your kids to have a party with their friends, a good idea is to take one of those huge cookies or cupcakes to school on their bday’s… 
That’s crazy, the ponies and all for a one year old. I say buy her a balloon and a cupcake and she’ll be in heaven. I was in the hospital about to have my second son on my first son’s birthday. I was sooo upset. We had a party planned that weekend. My son came to the hospital to see me, had a cupcake and a balloon and was in hog heaven.
The only party we go overboard on is the the 1st birthday, and in comparison to most it’s probably not even that “overboard”. I made a 3 tier cake (the top was hers) and decked out the house in coordinating decorations, cooked a big meal and spent the day celebrating with friends and family. That’s how the first 5 go. After that we’ve put down a $100 spending limit on party locations. Last year my son did Kick’s, it’s an indoor theme park with buffet that cost us almost 200 bucks…that was the breaking point. He now gets a limit on friends and we refuse to book any place that costs more than $10 a head.
Parties are so ridiculous these days. We always just do a party at home. I make the cake. We do something for lunch. I don’t even plan any games or anything. Brody is content to just play with his cousins and a few friends. That’s the way we always did parties when I was a kid and it was great. We always had to go to ChuckE Cheese parties for our niece. Torture! I will never do that to anyone else! My son has never even been to Chuck E Cheese. I’m a mean mom.
We just took him to the McDonald’s playland for the first time last week. He leads a sheltered life!