Blogging can feel thankless…and lonely.
Doesn’t it feel like that sometimes?
Its funny because before I was in forums, businesses, and blogs, I did resumes. I was just telling a friend today that I was the resume queen. I wrote resumes for everyone I knew. As a result for not finding a job for about 6 months when I first got out of college, I learned how to write a resume that got an interview. In fact, I have never written a resume for someone that didn’t land them a job. That earned me a pretty good reputation, so friends of friends of friends were always asking me for ‘help’. That help probably ate up 100 hours in my life and I did it all for free.
Then when I was pregnant, I went to the online world. I started a forum and was a part of a group of girls, or rather many many groups of girls, for years. I ran a forum and projects, and gift exchanges, and trips, and birthday celebrations, and topics, and….get the point? And I, for the most part, think mommy forums are a breeding ground for gossip and a place for grown up girls to be mean. You have no idea how grateful I am to not be in that cliquey crap any more.
Then I had an online business, it got into 28 stores in under three months. I had so much business, that I had to quite selling to stores and pull out of the children’s markets. As a result of that business, I started meeting a lot of online mom business owners and ended up helping them to SEO their sites, set up their meta tags, help with their site names, give them ideas on how to branch out…yep, all for free.
While opening my business, I discovered blogging. I started with two blogs, one was a personal blog that I brought in about 5 other girls to help out, but wasn’t quite like MomDot and one was a business blog, which I shared store business ideas, marketing, and more. Then I realized I have 4 things going on, I need to streamline. So I scrapped my other two blogs and opened momdot, trying to combine business and personal.
From MomDot, I have become involved in other projects, including reviews and working with reviewers, PR reps, pitches, business advice, blogging advice, blogging connections, and etc and etc.
And you know what? Im lonely. Its lonely to have a blog. Blogging is the most narcissistic thing in the world…you are writing and want someone to listen to you. You would think it would be the perfect fit, I love to talk about myself. But I also want real life connections. Its so hard because I sit here all day working and social networking (probably 45-50 hours a week) and then I have to work my online company at night, and that takes 30 hours a week as well (or more).
I never stop.
And all the while… I never see anyone. Maybe thats why the webcam was so fun. To actually talk to people face to face…
But do you ever feel like why am I doing all this? You know, I hear girls a lot frustrated regarding comments on their blog. I can completely understand. There is nothing worse then feeling like you are talking to yourself. To all those girls, I’m telling you, it doesn’t matter because we are both in the same position. We are both sitting here at the computer, most likely alone or with our kids, and we both are just talking to ourselves hoping someone, anyone, is listening.
And isn’t it kinda funny that we blog to connect, but perhaps online communities are keeping us from making real life communities? Its easier for me to be online, in PJs and eating a chocolate bar, then it is for me to go out and get dressed, and put on makeup, and meet up with someone I may, or may not, click with. And I enjoy it. I am all about starting new projects, maybe its the Gemini in me.
And blogging isn’t too far from forums in a way. There are still an element of competitiveness, or what blog is popular, or promotions, etc. There has to be…everyone is trying to get noticed, to be that blogger that is invited to a convention, or asked to speak, or asked to write for someone, or on a radio show….arn’t we all, in a way, trying to be the next person on all the Top “10″ lists? I bet if we are not lying to ourselves, the answer is yes for most of you-myself included. You have no idea how many times I have applied to be a guest writer on a website and I have never once been picked. It sucks. You start to doubt yourself. What you love to do, apparently no one loves you to do.
Its not about the pay….I make 1 cent an hour if you combine what I made last year in blogging divided by the hours I put in. But I do want to be the girl invited to the visits to the factories, or asked an opinion on….anything at all………just to be counted. Involved. Its like having a job that you will never see a promotion for, or an award you can hang on the wall showing your dedicated, and being included is all you can hope for.
And some days, just some days, I want to feel important.
~trisha
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25 Comments
I think we all definitely feel like this. Some days we feel loved and others not so much. But there are some really terrific people out there in the bloggy world and I feel like I’ve met a lot of them. Even though they’re virtual, they still seem real to me.
It’s amazing how much I need to be validated (by comments) from total strangers. I have already met (online)people who seem really great so I definitely get a return on my investment.
But there is also that feeling when you pour your heart out on a post, or write something that you think will help people out and wait….. You think, wow, I think I wrote a good one this time, people are sure to enjoy this….wait….waiting….no comments. O.K, I guess I was wrong.
That could make me feel lonely sometimes.
Maria M’s last blog post..Scare of my life
Thanks so much for posting this! I get so excited over my measly 5 followers and the few comments that I get. I would love to have lots of blogosphere friends and I am trying! I just want to be loved. I want to network and share experiences and ideas with other moms.
Amy’s last blog post..New Year, New Goals….Not Resolutions
This was a fantastic post. Since I discovered your site I’ve been in awe of you. I see your photo everywhere, I hear about Mom Dot everywhere I go. I wished I was half as popular and smart and had it all together as you seem to. It’s nice to see that you feel the same way that we “little dirt roads trying to be highways” (as my 13 year old calls it)do.
* TONYA *’s last blog post..372
I hear you lady! I love to write and never know if people are READING my stuff. And I hate drama…
I guess bloggers are like journalists writing for a paper because u never truly know what the people thought. Yeah, u might hear something here & there but not interaction.
I love MomDot and love ur posts!
Keep em coming!
Angie
I’m new to this blogging thing. Have found a two sites to write on. have written 30 plus articles. No money is coming my way. Apparently I will be paid by frequency of hits. Not sure I have the patience for this. I, too, have a husband who wants me to get a job. I want to wait it out.
I don’t mind the lack of comments so much. I have feeling that the more comments you get the more negative ones you get as well. don’t need negativity in my life at all.
I REALLY like the post on my fave blog post. I also posted a bloggie friend’s post. Now tat is a good idea. So is Wordless Weds. etc.
Mom on the Run’s last blog post..New Year’s Resolutions
Blogging is such a raw thing.
Here is a piece of me, read it, like it, like me.
It’s scary.
And I constantly remid myself why I do it, for the love of it, not for the homecoming crown.
It’s honestly why I shy away from forums, memes, blog awards. I try to keep it honest and focused on my life.
I am scared to get caught up into the politics of it.
I have my end goal always in sight. Sure, it feels sucky when I see the success of someone that I really wanted for myself, but I know my patience will pay off. I know it. And when it does, it will be on my terms, uncompromised.
This post was amazing, and really really humanizing. Thanks so much for writing it!
Brittany’s last blog post..Greetings from the couch.
It is so true.
And I wish I could be a fraction of how good you are!
Colette S’s last blog post..Got caught in da net
Hugs Trisha! You have so many followers on momdot…I’m actually kind of surprised to hear a post like this from you! I can understand…I have like 5 readers! I mostly blog for ME though & as a way to keep a few friends and family in touch with our lives.
I’m sorry your feeling lonely! I’m here! I read & visit everyday! Today, Jenna has a comment challenge & I’m participating…sometimes it’s hard for a working woman to find time to comment on all the blogs I read! I think I’m going to try to comment on at least 3 blogs a day, starting now!
Good Luck & Cheer Up!
Stephanie’s last blog post..Think Thin Thursdays (I’m a little late!)
@ Shan:
yes, anytime you want.
momdot@live.com
I hear you, Trisha!! I feel the same way. I just started blogging in Sept. I have met some very cool people who like what I have to say, but I am not one of the popular bloggers.
I stupidly thought, after seeing a story about dooce.com, that I could start a blog & make an income from it (although nothing compared to dooce, just 1/10 of her income would be nice).
Well that has not happened yet & my husband is getting kind of pissed off that I am on the computer all day & not making a dime. I tried to tell him it takes time, but he doesn’t get it. We only have one car, so working outside the home is not really feasible at this time (of course, try telling THAT to him…LOL) And he also doesn’t get that daycare will likely put us more in the hole, should I start working outside the home. MEN!!! UGGGHHH!!!
Anyway, my point is this, there are forums out there that are like High school cliques all over again. A 35 year old Mom acting like a 16 year old is not pretty. I have seen the maturity level go from adult to teen in 0.6 seconds. I don’t get it. This also translates to personal blogs. The comments you can get are just awful. And they can hurt. Even if you don’t know the person, the words can sting. Our personal blogs are “us”, our thoughts put out for the world to see. It is kind of scary sometimes.
But you can also make some really cool friends if you just persevere. I know I have. But it is lonely out there in the blogosphere. You keep writing, hoping someone will like what you have to say. It’s the nature of the beast.
BTW, Trisha, is there a way to contact you directly? I have a question for you that I don’t want to leave in the comments.
Shan’s last blog post..Mark Your Calendars, It’s The End Of The World As We Know It…
TresCoutureClarissa wrote:
clarissa, last week, I realized i handt left the house in an entire WEEK. no crap.
fantacy wrote:
i read ALL comments
Thanks for this post in particular. In the blogging world I am an absolute nobody (lol not a HUGE somebody in RL but to my kids I am I think) and I guess I just assumed that a huge blog like this wouldn’t really “need” or maybe even read my comments. I started a Project 365 the other day and literally BEGGED (yes begged) a friend to go comment on it just so I wouldn’t feel like a total loser…the result? I felt like a BIGGER loser for having to ask her. I am part of the digital scrapbook world and used to design supplies. When I would post a freebie for people to download I would get 1000+ downloads and maybe 20 comments…which 20 was GREAT but then when I would post about my kidlets being sick or about something that was about me, I would get maybe 4 comments (or none). I am sorry you feel lonely and I get exactly where you are coming from. Please know that MomDot really is appreciated by so many, I know that is little consolation, but you gals really are.
fantacy’s last blog post..Didn’t make the 365 Cut….
Okay–NOW I know WHY we are so much alike-I am a Gemini, too!
I am always up to something! 
Anyway-I get out of the house on a daily basis even if it is just to go grab a quick coffee while my lil guy plays at Mc D’s for an hour or so. I am a chit chatter so I make conversation with complete strangers…lol…I say this all the time, I have no way of becoming addicited to blogging because I have too much energy to stay on ONE thing for too long but, I do feel alone in the blogsphere and thank GOD that I have real life friends who fill in that “alone” feeling.
I always try to comment on blogs–I wish I had more time to comment everyone! I really do try to be supportive of those I believe in! I LOVE MOM DOT and you know how much I appreciate you, Trisha for all you have helped me with!
TresCoutureClarissa’s last blog post..Update on the CPSIA Issues
I for one really am grateful to momdot.com and you for all the tips I have received and great articles I read and contests I have participated in. I just this site a lot during the day to see what’s new and what neat thing Trisha has written so just know you aren’t alone!
Shannon’s last blog post..A FinleypotaMUST Find: The Bumble Factory Outlet
I’m always wondering about that especially on the posts that have ZERO comments. Like did anyone really read that one.
Jessica NBP/MCC’s last blog post..4 You Birthday Party Bash**SCROLL DOWN FOR NEW CONTENT**
I totally understand where you are coming from.
Sarah’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
i wondered about the blogging world as i am new to it. i like everyones point of view and reading there stories. Well, the Giveaways are a Plus. Im home anyways with a 4yr old and this is my connection to the world. I try to comment on all my subscriptions once a week.
-misty
Misty’s last blog post..Balance Water!
I swear I was thinking about this last night.
Sometimes it really does make you think, “Is anyone even listening?” but then again, I think it’s nice to have that ability to just get whats on your mind OUT.
And of course, blogging can be a “job”. You want to be the best at what you are-it’s human nature.
Sometimes when we help people out, everyone forgets those simple words “Thank You” can mean so much. I hope you know I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and the rest of the girls at MomDot
Jenna’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday:Photo Biography
It is lonely sometimes, but honestly blogging has helped me so much. I had to sit at home all day long, since we only have one car, and there is nothing around here to do. All my friends live at least 30 minutes away, so sitting at home, all day, with only my toddler to play with was driving me nuts! Online communities have helped me connect with other adults during the week, and helped me from going insane! We still connect with RL people on weekends, but I needed more contact during the week that I couldn’t get any other way.
Trish’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday- Snow: It Just Keeps Coming
That is so me. I am that girl sitting at the computer..alone..with my kids. I have no outside friends, acquaintances, yes, but no “real” friends besides my husband. It doesn’t bother me most of the time, but like you I still crave some recognition, comments anything. So I totally get where you are coming from.
AJ’s last blog post..What’s a Daughter to do?
You are important, we do “listen” to you, and gosh darnit, we like you!
Gina’s last blog post..WFMW: Easy Kid/Highchair Clean-up
I have to say, WOW! You really wouldn’t think that you would feel this way (lonely) considering how busy your blog is. I’ve been blogging for quite some time and still only have a very few people that “follow” me with any regularity. Sometimes it’s frustrating but for the most part, blogging is cathartic for me and without it, comments or not, I’d go insane.
Blogging and online “mommy” communities are definitely a way for the sahm or wahm to socialize and be heard. It’s easier and more convenient. Unlike in real life, if you don’t like someone, you just stop reading their blogs or following them on Twitter.
From one Trisha to another, heheh, I hope you stop feeling online lonely soon.
TrishaJ’s last blog post..Being Picky Again
I hear you! Especially on the resume thing because that was me.
My blog is a little fish in the big pond. 45-50 hits a day. Would I like more? Sure. On average, there’s two comments a day and at least one post a week gets NO comments. It does make you wonder sometimes whether anyone likes what you say, whether they agree or disagree or if you were the “oops, I didn’t mean to click on your link”.
As far as the connection thing, I have a child on the autism spectrum. For years, my husband and I didn’t go out, didn’t socialize or do anything unless we had the kids with us. We don’t think the average babysitter can handle our son. It was solitary.
Blogging and message boards gave the interaction we desperately needed. We now are involved in Scouting, but seriously, most of our connections are through electronic means. Thank God for good cell phone plans!
Someone sent me over here because of the Keurig giveaway. I’m glad I saw that link, because in the week since I arrived, I find myself nodding my head at what I’m reading most of the time.
So THANK YOU. I know you don’t hear it enough.
Suzanne’s last blog post..Searching and Seeking