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Growing up, I was excruciatingly independent. I am a free thinker, someone that believes that self control, spirit, courtesy, ethics, and morality are all regulated by ones own personal actions. In short, you were raised that way or you were not. You live that way or you don’t. It’s quite simple.
Now I know women out there fight about the terminology of whether or not to be called a mom blogger, the authenticity of reviews and giveaways, who is considered a real writer, and a slew of other pointless and wasteful drama litter that is more or less self defeating.
As you know, women have to fight in order to interact. It’s a law or something.
What really gets me recently though is all the major blog regulation being touted and strewn around the social media blogosphere ripe with scare tactics of governmental regulations, FTC crackdowns, and IRS audits. I have to admit giggles escape me when I see so called blog “A listers” pushing rules down the throat of what should be our strongest form of freedom of speech- our personal websites. When I first came into this world I thought, omg, look at these women. They are so successful, they have 5K twitter followers, companies want to work with them , they are amazingly awesome and wonderful and omg, pick me, pick me.
Puke.
Trust me, I am over it.
Its more like mean girls gone computer. I was lucky if I could get 1 person to say hi back to me that ran in social circles I wasn’t a part of. Hell, I am lucky if I can get that now. Influence doesn’t work well so well if its only birds of a feather, kwim? Not that anyone cares about that while they are escaping to the brandy room to congratulate themselves on being kings of the universe.
What I know now that I didn’t know then was that who the hell cares. Influence doesn’t come from stats, or companies, or who has the nicest template. Every single person online has influence and those with the largest audience don’t always have the most effective communication. The little guy can reach, motivate and impact the population with just one real thought.
I am unsure about everyone else, but I utilize my space not only for opinions, but for sharing, community, and interacting with so much more then just a few family and friends. And while my reach may be devastatingly small in the scheme of things, its mine.
I answer to no one.
Isn’t it fucking beautiful?
Oh yeah, Disney, I said it. Fucking. Just scratch me off the list for this year too. I am a rebel.
In all seriousness, do you want someone telling you to sign a pact before you write? Do you believe you should have to prove that you are honest when you put forth an article? Don’t you feel the slightest bit of insult that someone would even suggest that we should all fall into line as a collective entity? I shudder at the socialism. Or communism. Pick your poison.
It seems to me that the more emphasis we put on ‘blogging with integrity’, signing lists, and creating endless pledges that segregate those that sign and those that don’t, we are encouraging the media to find additional fault as we, ourselves, are pointing it out. Look at that person, they don’t have a badge…they must be a liar.
Yep, that’s me. I am the liar. I really did hate that cookie I told you about last month…I GOT YOU ALL * cackle, cackle*
Last January, PitchBloggers opened to a pretty successful PR and blogger trading post, the first of its kind. In fact, so successful that I outdid the amount of time I was spending there and here, so I had to move it into MomDot. As part of that, a PR agent and I created a contractual ethics agreement between the bloggers who were participating in the offers. It was to establish a clear set of rules between the bloggers we were working with and hold them accountable to a set of professional standards. I can tell you that more than once did we had to enforce the termination of a blogger from our program. And more often then not, it was based on plagiarism of a fellow blogger in the program.
Some ethics right?
If signing pledges, adding graphics, and disclosing and signing contracts worked, we wouldn’t have priests that molested children, politicians that went to prison for corruption, and teachers that dated 15 year olds.
The blogosphere is NOT the government.
If it is, I missed the elections. The beauty of going online, creating content, and putting it out there to be picked up by anyone is that it’s free. It’s yours. No one can compare you to someone else when you are yourself. There is no danger of plagiarism, no danger of false creation, no danger of misrepresentation when you wake up every day and just do you.
Regulating the world that brings us our independence, individuality, and purpose, turns it into a corporate entity that lacks originality and creativity. And signing away that what we write is “indeed an honest reflection of ourselves” is way too insulting for me to take part. We become drones and in a way live up to the same expectations and self fulfilling prophesies that keep a sorority in charge and the “little people” (that’s you and I) out of growth.
Do you know what the golden rule is? He who makes the gold…rules. You know what I see? She who makes the rules…rules.
What I would love is bloggers to stop finding a reason to follow and find a reason to lead. And I don’t mean leading a group of followers. I mean leading in your words, your actions, how you treat others, the impact you make, your personal responsibility and providing a home for visitors. If you lead by example, it makes the rest sorta pointless, doesn’t it?
Some days I blog with anger.
Some days I blog with purpose.
Some days I blog for fun.
Some days I blog to connect.
But every day I blog for ME.
Who you are online and who you are in real life should be one and the same. If either one of those are corrupt, no amount of fancy graphics will save you. If the FTC or any other governmental system actually shows up, and it actually affects me, maybe I’ll fall in line, maybe I’ll quit. The choice will be mine. But why start now on something that doesn’t even exist and that in essence, takes away the one thing we should be fighting for; our freedom of self expression.
The blogosphere is turning into one big bandwagon…and I have jumped off the ride.
If anyone wants to walk with me home…I’ll be heading south.
~Trisha
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Heading south with you.
Blogging just completes me!
It’s good to see someone bucking the system!
weren’t you the one writing the pact? Ha!
Captain, have you abandoned ship after steering into the cliffs?
I am a bit confused, but I’m always confused.
Maybe I should try and read more, but I don’t have enough time – I’m a single mom you know and I’m full of excuses!
Nope, not me.
Shoot, one of my blogs have 2 followers, it’s all good LOL I do it for myself. I enjoy blogging and talking and now I like to do video. If no one likes it ah well I love it
I like the South, let me get my hat.
I agree with you
I blog for me no matter what my post is about. I haven’t checked my stats in 4 months! I don’t even care what they are!
Huh What did I miss? Dand I always miss everything
Very Well said! I so agree!
Well said!
As I always say, I don’t need some stinking badge to tell me I have integrity.
I have my own set of personal ethics and morals that I must adhere to daily because I know what is right and wrong…my parents taught me that. I must be an example to my daughter so that she will grow up with values, morals & ethics. I am me on my blog. What you see is what you get. I don’t sugar coat and I don’t lie. All the opinions are my own.
I write for me. If you don’t like it, move on. There are plenty of blogs for you to read. I am sure you will find something you like eventually.
Still loving the promotion of “Blog with Integrity” by a person who refuses to do that very thing herself. Oh, the irony! I think many of the self-proclaimed “A-Listers” are more into “do as I say, not as I do” than actually practicing what they are preaching. It’s power trip for them. They like blind, unquestioning followers. And the second you do question them or point out their inaccuracies, they slam you and call YOUR ethics (and sometimes writing ability) into question.
Deflection is the oldest trick in the book for people like that. And they are usually so skilled at it that you cannot win with them, no matter how many concrete facts you put right in front of them.
So, yeah, I have integrity. I hold myself to a high standard. And, no, I don’t need some stinking badge to prove that I have it.
Very well said Trisha and I agree with most of what you said and you have some pretty awesome stuff in there girly…too many to pull to quote you.
It’s human nature to want to group up. And I find no problem with that – heck there’s the momdotters, herd, mafia…what have you…and I love ya all…and love that I didn’t have to sign anything to be considered part of mom dot.
You find your tribe and there you go. And it’s nice to feel included in something even bigger as a collective whole. And I think that is great. But I only want to be part of that collective if I feel that those people trust me and think I am a genuine nice person. If they don’t, we probably won’t be friends. I don’t want to have to continuously prove myself. That’s not friendship or partnership.
I am ethical person. Those that know me, read me, in real life or online, know that.
And you are right, it does feel a tad bit insulting that someone wants me to pledge that I am.
Perhaps everyone’s gotten just too damn cynical.
Blogging for YOU – that’s what it’s all about. You won’t see anyone EVER regulating MY blog, because it’s mine. If blogs were regulated there wouldn’t be anything good to read, everything would be the same.
Great post, and well said.
“The little guy can reach, motivate and impact the population with just one real thought.”
Well said and very true!
Thanks for writing this.
I’m also one of the ‘newbies’ and I will say that the following quote:
“Its more like mean girls gone computer.” summarizes my experience with the blogosphere. There are very nice ‘A List’ bloggers that WILL take the time and respond or encourage but the vast majority of them not only won’t respond but will snideley (and yes, I’m aware that isn’t a word but I’m using it anyway) and snarkely (yep this one too)make comments about others in tweets and blog posts.
I’ve written in more than one email – gosh, you would think we were in high school or something and you know, it’s true.
Okay, I’m off my soapbox now although I want to continue the discussion…LOL
@ Clarissa ~ “If you don’t trust me, then leave my blog-bye, bye!” I second this statement! If you don’t like it or trust me then leave and don’t come back. I only give my honest opinions and I am me!
Trisha, great post! You always have a wonderful way of saying exactly how most of us feel!
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Very well stated. As one of the newer little guys, this blog with ethics crap is making it more difficult to establish my blog. I am sure I have a minuscule audience at the moment but I don’t alter my posts to please anyone. My blog is ME. And I like it that way.
“But every day I blog for ME.”
My favorite line.
I’m so over it too! I do my best to play by “the rules” but goodness, how much more are we going to be regulated!! If you can’t believe me, then don’t read my blog. It’s that simple.
Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges! If you don’t trust me, then leave my blog-bye, bye! I don’t have anything on my blog and I never will–my opinions are mine and mine alone. If there is reason to disclose anything LEGALLY, then of course I will. Other than that-what I get paid for or how much I get paid or whatever is MY business.
So very well said Trisha!
I love this line, “And while my reach may be devastatingly small in the scheme of things, its mine.”
I think it only takes someone looking around MomDot or my blog or anyone else’s blog to see whether or not you blog with integrity. Clearly you do and I do and most others do. And we don’t need made up rules or badges to prove it.
The whole blog with integrity thing really rubs me the wrong way. The badge is meaningless. The pledge is meaningless. It doesn’t miraculously instill virtuous intentions in the bloggers who sign. If they are less than noble before signing, they will remain so after signing.
Like so many others have said – Integrity is in your actions and alluded to in each and every word you’ve written on your blog. It shouldn’t have to be waved on a flag too….that’s just obnoxious.
The fact that I’m seeing bloggers disclose statements as NOT PAID rather than PAID is a flashing neon sign that things are not right. Take ownership of your own words and your own self and be true to that. We’re all better for it if everyone does so.
Perfectly Awesome!
I am over it too! Very well said.
**CLAP, CLAP, CLAP** – Very well put!
Personal accountability cannot really be regulated where freedom of speech is concerned. And it shouldn’t be. I can tout my own morals and ethics until I turn blue but at the end of the day people are going to make their own decision based upon my actions NOT what I “claim” to stand for.
Who you are and what you stand for should shine through in your writing and on your site, it shouldn’t take you announcing it to make that clear to people.
I also think there is another aspect to this…and that is that people seem to feel the need to defend themselves by putting up badges and making statements about integrity. Why? Who do they feel you need to answer to? Are bloggers looked upon with wariness over their intentions and honesty? If so, no badge will change that. If there is an impression of impropriety, it is their actions that have created it, and actions are really the only thing that can remove the stigma.
Here Here.
*standing ovation*
Very well said Trisha! I will gladly walk south with you!!
very well written and put Trisha. If more just tried to be the best they can be and not imitate we sure would have a bunch of great content to read.