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Baby Bikinis

I am re-opening this conversation.

Originally this article was published in 2009, but last night a photo appeared in my stream on facebook (from a public business facebook page) of an approx 2-3 year old wearing a triangle top, jean shorts, white boots, and one of those “model” poses that stick your chest out and hands on the hips. I personally found it highly inappropriate. I re-shared the link from the page (as did some others) and there were quickly some opinions riled up on it.

On some level I get that a parent would want a cute shot with their child in their home, but then to get professional photographs of an outfit I wouldn’t wear as an adult and stick an unsuspecting child to be strewn on a page of 6,000 followers blows my mind. I feel like modesty starts at an early age. At 7.5yrs old my daughter knows, without me telling her, that shorts belong under a dress if she is outside playing. I instilled that into her at 3.  Recently I saw a graphic running wild on facebook the other day (I can’t find it, I wish I could) that showed a parent laughing at their child saying a cuss word, then encouraging them to booty dance, it goes on and on and at the end of the graphic she was a pregnant teen and mom was saying “Where did I go wrong?”.

Please note that I am not  saying that a child that wears a bikini will be a pregnant teen, but it does provoke the question “is it too much, too soon?”

Maybe it’s the posing or maybe it’s the marketing or perhaps the internal ‘ick’ factor for me on little girls in triangle tops, but….

OK, enough said. You know how I feel.

How do YOU feel?

~Trisha

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Prosecuted for Miscarriage…

This is not a Pro-Life/Pro-Choice debate post. I try to stay away from the biggies on my blog, that being one of them. But my sister shared this article on facebook and I found it a terribly interesting topic for discussion.

Most states have enacted their own personal state feelings on abortion procedures, whether its banning them from happening, slapping age or other restrictions, or making it completely open between a dr and a patient, but have you heard of the “foetal homicide laws” that 38 states have?

Basically the gist of it is that the law was put into place to charge people who incidentally murdered fetus’ by their actions in late term pregnancy..ie abuse, car accident, etc. But the laws are being used to prosecute women whose actions during their pregnancy result in a death of their unborn child, i.e. miscarriage. For example, a woman addicted to drugs who has a baby that ultimately dies shortly after its born or in utero.  In that case, its a very interesting discussion regarding her drug use versus the babys rights, but the article also posts this disturbing scenario:

In one case, a woman’s unborn baby was diagnosed with Down’s syndrome and she declined the doctor’s suggestion to abort. Her baby died after a premature birth and six months later she was arrested at home and retroactively charged with “chemical endangerment” during pregnancy. She denied taking drugs and there was no evidence, but she faces 10 years behind bars.

I am just shocked that there are states like South Carolina pursuing to put women in prison for a miscarriage.

In one way my thought process, which thinks very legally, knows it cant have its cake and eat it too. I realize if you can charge someone for abusing a pregnant woman and ultimately causing what will be deemed a prosecutable death, that the women themselves open themselves up to the same accountability.

In the other way I wonder if this is a massive slippery slope that no one wants to pursue.

What would constitute “endangerment to an unborn child”? Staying up late? Quitting Pre-natal pills? A glass of wine? Taking a Tylenol PM? Wearing heels and falling down in them? I also think it might be a way for pregnant-but-addicted women to choose abortion early on in a pregnancy, which is legal, over carrying a baby to full term and risk homicide charges.

What do you think….charge women for their actions during pregnancy or no?

Can’t we all just get along? No. No we cant.

I have been enjoying the fun little volleyball game in the blogosphere recently. Mainly because this time, I didn’t start it. If you have missed it, it goes something like this:

NonReview/Giveaway Blogger #1:  You’re fooling me with your fake blogs on products. You don’t put out real content like those of us that talk about our baby poop and crappy husbands and spread our opinions on something real.

Review/Giveaway Blogger to Blogger #1:  Don’t read it then and suck on this egg I got from Egglands Best.

NonReview/Giveaway Blogger #2: You’re ruining the blogosphere with your fake, sticky-sweet positive free product content.

Review/Giveaway Blogger #2: I’m going to mow you down with my John Deere mower and then use a Hefty bag to take you out like the trash you are!

I’m going to let you in on a little known secret:

This article has moved. Read the rest of it here

Mom Blogger Fights

Question Time

Since I am always the one talking, I thought I would ask a question of you.

Why did you choose the blog name you have?

~Trisha


Is there a topic you would NEVER touch

on your blog?

trisha

Virgin before Marriage, Celibate after

-This is not me, trisha, writing. This is a guest, so its under my name. I really need to get around to making a guest name. She is reading your responses.

———————-

Hubby and I waited until we got married to have sex – with anyone.  Total virgins.  Now that we have been married for 4 years are we already losing sexual interest?

No, I can’t believe it.

There simply must be something to cure this sexual apathy.

Let’s start at the beginning, and see where we went wrong. When we first got married, my husband and I couldn’t wait till the wedding night.  That first time was awkward and all, but amazing!  Then we became newlyweds and had the normal quarrels about him being in the mood and me not.  And he was in the mood a lot!  You can’t blame the guy – he waited 25 years to have sex.  It soon became apparent that he wanted it way more than I did.  Thankfully I got pregnant 4 months after being married so I could blame a lot of my not being in the mood on pregnancy.

I think the problems lie in what we allowed to slowly creep in the way of our sex life.

I don’t think we ever had a really vibrant, alive sex life, but it had it’s moments of awe and splendor, and somehow we began to gradually suffocate it.  At first it was due to my lack of trying, I’ll admit.  Sure, my body my choice and whatever but I didn’t even care about his feelings at all during that first year.  When we had the time to be romantic and crazy, without the distractions of children or work, we didn’t take advantage of it.

Now, he works 14 hours a day.

We have 2 kids sleeping in our bed with us.  Being attachment parenting advocates we have totally disagreed when people suggested that co-sleeping can strain your sex life. “No way, it just makes us more creative” we’d say with a laugh.

Ha!

Where is the joke now? On us.

I hate to admit it, but after doing the cry it out method tonight, we had sex. And it was amazing! Baby boy is in the crib and the toddler is learning how to sleep on her own as well.

What else can we do to keep the sex alive in the marriage?

I hate that I can go a month without sex and not even care.  I have no sexual drive for some reason.  And then I feel so bad for my poor husband. Men are wired to need sex more. He never pressures me and has told me he only wants to have sex if I want to have sex. He prefers to make love.  I am truly blessed and want to be the same blessing to him.

You know what would help a little? Just a smidge? A love note here and there.  Maybe a few more dates.  I have read books that say if you give your husband more sex he will be more romantic and responsive to your needs.  This doesn’t always work!  I tried it.  Maybe if he was more romantic I’d give more sex and encourage his romantic efforts? I wish.

So here I am.

We have sex about once a week and I want us to do more. I want more sex drive, more time without kids and to feel more connected to him. I don’t want to fall into the sexless rut some couples do – and after only 4 years of marriage! We ought to still be on fire! I am making some changes around here.  We are married for crying out loud.  We should be crying out loud in ecstasy, not snoring in exhaustion. So more dates, a bed sans kids and a few other ideas of mine.

I will not take this lying down. (Ok, I will)

~Guest Blogger


New Orleans Pictures, last post (Rated NC17-NUDITY)

There are pictures containing boobs (not of us) in here and the song has some adult language. Don’t watch around your kids unless you have already schooled them on the finer arts of the F word.

Alicia, Brittany, Blondie, this video is dedicated to you. This was much quicker to load then a bajillion pictures. Enjoy.

The boobs are dedicated to all my male visitors who wish they were in new orleans that weekend-including my DH.

~Trisha

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A blogger wanted to share her story

I have received several stories this week on what other things are going on or have gone on to other people online. I am going to (w/ permission) start printing some of the stories of these others bloggers. If you have something to share, email me directly and Ill be happy to share it (with or without credit).  The best way we can fight against it is to expose it. Here is one bloggers story of cyber-harassment:

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I saw your post this AM about internet stalkers & wanted to say, while yep, I have NO idea whats going on, or this airport incident people are talking about ( I started to search for it then was like, wth?)


However, I do know what its like to really see another side of people & the internet! Someone I thought for a long time was my friend (on-line) I could have pressed charges against for harassment ( threatening myself & my CHILD of all things gross to do) with someone else via my phone & internet, defaming me all because a group of moms got bored & went on a “troll hunt” on a baby message board!

When I first found blogging ( on myspace of all things) I had a private blog, my sister in law used my computer, opened my Myspace & PRINTED my private blog about her awfully witchy grandmother & gave it to her. This sister in law also created a fake “person” online to attempt to break up my marriage online, to insult me & all around wreck our family. She didnt, but my DH & her havent spoken in 3 years & she isnt welcome in my home, or to ever see my children after things got taken too far. Needless to say, from someone who thought message boards & the “internet life” died at age 14 & then who came back into it clueless, I’ve seen & felt alot of what your going through, perhaps on a smaller level, but as family was involved, a very personal level as well.