My MIL isnt a terrible person, but she is freaking lazy. We moved ALL THE WAY back to this location, just an hour from her (we used to live about 14 hours away and have lived too far to drive for about 8 years) specifically so we can raise our daughter near both sets of grandparents.
One hour a way.
Our lives go like this:
DH: “Hey, mom, you want to watch Charlotte this weekend so Trisha and I can go out?”
MIL: “Uh…I may have something to do.”
DH: “What?”
MIL: “Dad has to cut the grass“
They didnt even come to our house for EASTER SUNDAY…all of a sudden, she had to work. She went in, on an office closed day, to show a house, on easter sunday, that was not going to sell…and they wouldnt even come before or after the showing…for a holiday. Our first holiday home here.
Seriously, this is every single time we ask them to watch Charlotte..something else is more important. I think they are really really lazy. Thats all it is. And she is a really, really good little girl. I just wish her grandparents wanted to see her. My dad, on the other hand, works 14 hours a day and commutes an hour daily to and from work, and still goes out of his way. He feels guilty if he doesn’t see her for a week.
My grandmother is coming to see me this weekend from Iowa. I haven’t seen her in two years or more. I am THRILLED. Then she is driving up to my dads to see him and taking charlotte with her. My aunt and 3 cousins are also coming. So my DH calls his mom to see if charlotte could sleep at their house (its in the same small town, just about 15 away from my parents). We wanted my parents/grandmother to drop charlotte off about an hour before bedtime nightly so she had her own room and they would pick her up in the am. Just SLEEP there. My dad doesn’t have room for those 5 people plus Charlotte, but my grandmother wants to maximize her time seeing Charlotte, understandably. His parents said: “But we work“. And…….
Still waiting here to figure out how they working correlates w/ her sleeping at night at her grandparents house. I work. Chris works. My parents work. Brush her teeth and put her to bed. Get her up, get her some cerel and pass her off. I am convinced this interrupts their nightly bourbon and war movie time.
Wouldnt you want to spend time w/ this face?
Your mother in law crazy?
Yep, she was a pretty good mom. And my Dh is wonderful, so he was raised right. But its like as soon as she wasnt a mom anymore, that was it. Or rather, when her kids were gone, she packed shop and got selfish.
Oh Trisha…I’m so sorry for you and Charlotte. Was she very maternal and nurturing with your DH?
I am lucky to have the greatest MIL. My step-children are adults now and she still keeps in touch with them weekly. When they were younger, they would go to Alabama for a month in the summer.
When DH and I got married, Mac was not quite 3. She has loved her as if she were her own flesh and blood. I could NOT ask for more.
When my FIL was dying of cancer, she was so brave and strong. I told hubby…when I grow up, I want to be just like her!
I could go bonkers with this topic!
My mil goes to her daughters every week and spends the night there to babysit. She lives THREE blocks from us, and my husband drives her an hour each way to do that babysitting. And she can’t do anything with us. She has been living in our town for a year. We drive her everywhere, every single day to get her morning breakfast at a restaurant and to get her coffee somewhere else, but she has babysat ONE DAY for us. And we FORCED her to do that. She was going to just pawn the kids off on her crippled, nearly deaf husband who could no way keep up with a 1 1/2 year old and a 4 year old! He can’t even lift them.
But we do get along, lol. I just don’t ask her to watch the kids. Mymom lives with me, so she does most of it. But my mom works during the day, so the one time I needed her.
As frustrating as that must be there are some people who aren’t comfortable around kids, even their own grandkids. There’s probably a tinge of selfishness in there too. Realizing this there are two options. Talk to them about what you’re feeling. Or, accepting that there won’t be any change don’t call them to do things with their granddaughter. Tough one either way…
Here’s the link to win a must have book for those with a difficult MIL:
The Daughter-in-Law Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Make Friends with) Your Mother-in-Law!
I love my mil ,but my first one was awful! She hated kids and once one of her kids had children of their own she wouldn’t even invite them for christmas dinner! Somehow though all of her boys love their mommy ,and they all ended up divorced because their wives did not!
My mother-in-law is awesome. She does live in Kansas City so I don’t get to see her that often but when I do we have a great time. I don’t have kids yet but I’m sure when we do she’ll be awesome with them too!
Do I like her? NO
Is she good tothe kids? Occasionally
She takes them for the night a few times a year so we can get away. She however does not buy them presents for bdays o holidays. She also thinks it is fine to punish them (IE spanking) even though I have told her not to.
She lives close and never comes HERE to see them, we always have to go there. She doesn’t like me and it shows. She however does not let her dislike for me stop her from letting the kids visit monthly or so.
I am a REALTOR, who shows houses on holidays, NOT ME!!! As for the MIL, I do not have one she passed away before i met hubby, but I hear she was awesome. Is my mom a good MIL? Humm..she drives my hubby CRAZY with her never ending selfishness! (It drives me CRAZY too)
Lazy is the perfect word to describe what they are…she’s precious! My MIL is crazy which may be the equivalent to lazy. She lives 10 hours from us and yet we still try to visit her once a month. Either she’s had a few drinks(in which I don’t let take care of the baby unsupervised) or she’s MIA!! So annoying!!!
Pleading the 5th!
Ugh. I wish I had just one wish. It would be that my kids did not strip naked at any given chance.
Anyway, back to my mil. She is great. She LOVES to watch the kids. Always wants to take my son to the movies and both kids to Chucke Cheese. I can call her up and just tell her that I am needing to get something done, and she will be over and takes the kids with her.
I have to tell you that even though I am divorced, I still love my Mother in Law and refused to call her my ex MIL. She is just lovely but lives all the way in Texas so I don’t see her often, but she calls me up, tells me she loves me, sends me birthday presents, talks to her grandson and is just wonderful.
Your MIL on the other hand is rude and is missing out on being a grandma, but I can relate because my mom is slightly similar with my sister too. Unless she offers to babysit, she resents it when my sister calls her up and asks her if she will and makes up some excuse or makes a big deal about having to change her plans just for my sister!
Ugh how rude! Fortunately my mil is awesome and I hope I can be as awesome as she is when I am a mil…as a sidenote, i just looked over at my daughter who is naked (remember the nudist colony thing) and she just pissed on my floor. WTH.
I’ll have to tell you about my mil later.
Wow! That’s pretty ridiculous. And yes,your daughter is absoloutley adorable!
My MIL is the complete opposite! She shows up at my house unannounced about 2-3 times a week and has even walked in w/o knocking!! Grr! Sometimes I wish she’d move away, but I know my DD loves her..soo, what can ya do?
kim, LOL> of course. This entire site is about plugging your own site. I have no rules on links..go for it.
My Best friend describes her in-laws that exact same way!
My in-laws, on the other hand, are WONDERFUL.. sent down from heaven. Well, 99% of the time. They have their moments.
As of now, they drove over 1000 miles from TX to NC to take my 6 year old on a week long trip to the mountains and then will be hanging out with us for a few days after that.
I sure hope it gets better though.. they’ll regret not spending more time with Charlotte at this adorable age.
Oh Wow. Just WOW. My in-laws have their quirks (to put it nicely), but yours definitely win in this arena!
I’m unbelievably blessed to have a MIL who not only embraces any time with her grandbaby, but took me into the fold as if I were her own. But your situation is EXACTLY what a coworker friend goes through…her parents jump at the chance to spend time with her son, but her in laws always seem to have an excuse not to take him, or visit, or whatever. Now…if THEY decide they want to spend time with the boy, it’s a TOTALLY different story – earth and sky must be moved to make it happen regardless of anyone else’s plans. I don’t get it…but at least they managed to raise a son worthy of your affections in spite of themselves!
Can I plug one of my giveaways here? I’m giving away 2 copies of a book of rules for dealing with the ever popular mother-in-law. Check my left sidebar for giveaway listings! I didn’t want to be rude and post the link…