I just need to sigh.
Today was one of those days.
You know, those days. The ones where you look at your kids and say…remind me again while I sacrificed my body and my sure bet of marrying a Chippendale to wipe your butt? The day started out with the same “I am awake so feed me, love me, change me, and tickle me” routine it always does, but by 9am it was clear that P was turning into a serious Captain Klingon.
And oh no, he can’t just sit on your lap and watch Mickey Mouse Club.
He wants you to stand.
The whole day.
And for some reason, probably an allergy I have yet to figure out, P has broken out in a rash that even the best Boudreaux’s Butt Cream isn’t taking care of and he firmly believes that the only fun thing to do in the house is to beg for food and to complain about life. So today when he started all that crap, I scooped him up for an outdoor adventure. That generally keeps him quiet for hours on end.
And it might have worked until he found and ingested Andros Ant Bed Poison and it took me 3 minutes before I realized what he actually was doing over by the brick wall being secretive. And here I was thinking that he had finally calmed down enough to be good. #JokesOnMom
Thankfully the good people over at Andros gave me some sound advice, most of which was that he was gonna be fine but may puke and lose his diaper at some point in the day.
Oh, goody, couldn’t wait.
Then to add to that little ditty, P decided that no way in hell on his watch was Mom (that’s me) entitled to get a break. Instead he took one of those “power naps” that give babies just enough energy to whine but not enough to actually enjoy the day. By the time my spouse came home, I was somewhere between insanity and scratching my eyes out, so I deferred to hopping in the car and doing a drive around the block just to breath on my own.
And I may have stopped and eaten a bowl of red beans and rice…and two pieces of garlic bread.
Now I am sitting here with a small glass of sweet tea wishing I could find a way to get rid of the sugar in my life and still have enough “get up and go” to get up and go. I am also pondering the 8 weeks I have left before Brandcation, 2 weeks left of Reynolds Wrap voting competition, and how I will survive an entire life of “stop eating that, don’t touch that, pull your pants up and leave her alone.”
I think I am going to go to the tub and drown myself.
Speaking of, if you are doing the same thing tonight, Unravel Me (Shatter Me) is good company.