A lot of working mothers feel guilty about having to be at work instead of being at home with their kids. But single mothers really have no choice. Some even have to work two or three jobs just to get by. I am fortunate enough to have a career where I only have to work the one job and I work 12 hour shifts which gives me four days off a week. As mothers we know that our “job” doesn’t necessarily end outside of the home, taking care of our children and households are full-time jobs. Single parents are forced to make so many sacrifices that most people would probably not even think of. I can only speak from my experience and perspective so that is the example I will give you.
I work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday 11am to 11pm. Those are long shifts and sure it might seem kind of nice because then I’m off for four days but those three days are rough, especially since I work in the Operating Room. I just started this shift when Hunter started kindergarten because I wanted to be able to be home to volunteer and be active in his school. That was important to me. I also picked that shift because I can bring him to school all five days a week and pick him up twice a week. If I had worked the twelve hour day shift 7am to 7 pm, three days a week I wouldn’t be able to drive him to or from school. So, three days a week I miss dinner, and my house turns into a complete disaster from us living on the go basically.
You’re probably wondering who picks Hunter up on those days that I work. All I can say is Thank God for my grandmother because without her I would be completely lost. She picks him up after school and brings him to her house where he sleeps until I get out of work at eleven and pick him up. Yes, I disrupt his sleep three nights a week to bring him home. But really there are no other options. I don’t have the luxury of having a partner pick him up at a reasonable time, so sacrifices are what we make.
Here’s my advice for single mothers:
- Do not throw yourself pity parties. You will never hear me throw myself one. If you start feeling sorry for yourself you will get nowhere, no one will want to help you, and you will be unable to focus on the reality of the situation.
- You need to set your feelings aside, for the well-being of you and your family, and adjust to the circumstances that surround you.
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Weigh all your options before you get yourself down.
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Know that it is okay to make certain sacrifices, your kids will grow up to appreciate you more.
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Do not be afraid to have to be the bad guy, because ultimately you need to stay in control of your situation.
And my promise to you, is that no matter how much of a corner you think you are stuck in, everything will always work itself out. Stay Positive!
~Miss Blondie
WTG Miss Blondie! I have been a single mom before and it’s tough but I think encouraging words like this help! I know what it’s like to go to school, work 1 full time and 1 part time job, and raise a baby on my own. But I know your time with those little ones aren’t suffering for that! They are learning that even when times are tough you can do anything.
Right now I work full-time, but I’m in college studying to be a special education teacher, so my schedule will be the same as my girls.
Great article. Keep up the good work.
Anonymous wrote:
I’m so glad that you find comfort in my words! Thats the whole point of writing these stories, is to help other women who may be in or going into a similar situation. It gives me great joy to know that I have helped you even a little bit! Feel free to email me anytime if you want to talk!!
Thank you so much for posting this. I have been thinking about leaving a relationship I’m not happy in but always change my mind because of how hard it would be to be a single mom. I think of all the time I would miss with my son while working to support us and it breaks my heart. Thank you for reassuring me that I can make it though. Reading what you said about the sacrifices and how much they would be appreciated later really hit home with me! Thank you so much!
ggod advice. i am often queen of the pity party.
Well done, Blondie! This is exactly what I admire about single moms. Most (because there is always at least one exception) scrap for what they get and earn every thing while still being rock star moms. I think you all deserve a huge hand for being strong, balanced and dedicated. I get whiney about people not helping me out sometimes and then I think about the fact that at least I have people to be mad at.
One more notch in your hero belt from me!