Yesterday I had the pleasure of being quoted in CNN. Thankfully the writer who wrote the story actually got my quotes right and didn’t paint me out to be a public-relations-mommy-blogger-down-with-reviews-hater. It only took well over 20 days to see a positive spin.
Beggars can’t be choosers.
Anyhoo, this post isn’t about that. Its about the comments left behind on the article.
Here, let me share a few of those here:
Now what strikes me as interesting isn’t about the negative reaction to blogging. We fear what we don’t understand..or in America we attack what we are not a part of. Its the negative reaction to WOMEN in general. I think I have been living in the “women are equal” world under an umbrella of ignorance, because I truly didn’t realize people had these types of 1950′s mentalities. HELLO. Black President! Women on the Supreme Court!
There are a lot of things I am not. I am not a great writer. I am not a journalist. I am not a professional blogger and I am a not a great social networker. But I do contribute to my household, monetarily, physically, and emotionally. Owning an online website doesn’t change those things about me.
Would getting a 9-5 job out of my home and putting my child in daycare while bringing home a physical paper check every week make me a better mom in the eyes of the world?
I’m trying to keep my blood pressure down so Ill keep my opinion on the nicey nice train today.
Opinions?
I dont think all mommy bloggers are stay at home moms either, most probably are, but a stay at home mom who might go to a gym for 2 hours EVERY day and put the kid in the daycare there is ok? At least we are home with the kids, still interacting or many wait until after they are asleep to blog and go online. People will jump on whatever bandwagon is popular at the moment and bashing mommy bloggers is in right now. like the mom who goes to the gym and drops her kid at the babysitting (which I think is fine by the way, women needs hobbies or jobs or things to keep them sane) people could say that is bad to, but they don’t, this is the in topic right now, people need to look at the whole picture before spouting off.
10 years ago when I had my son I worked full time plus some. I was a single mother and was lucky enough to have my mother take care of my son for me.
I’ve been married for 4 years to a wonderful man that works extremely hard so that I am able to stay home after having our daughter 2 years ago. I enjoy being a stay at home mom and do not take it for granted at all. I know what it’s like to miss things and I was not willing to do that with my second child.
I know plenty of working mother’s that blog as well. It’s not just stay at home mom’s that blog.
It’s not easy being a SAHM or a working mom. Both are equally difficult and both should be commended.
Oh yes, my child is so neglected. I blog ALL day long. I make her little 4 year old self COOK her own meals (and something for Mommy, too), do her own laundry, learn her letters, numbers & colors all by herself. I even make her do her own grocery shopping. How can I be bothered with all of those menial tasks? Can’t you see I am too busy eating bon bons while blogging?
Who knew that the 1950′s mentality towards women was alive and well in 2009? My Husband actually once told me that I needed to have the house clean and dinner made by the time he gets home. I told him that I was not Donna Reed and if he wanted her, he needed to go out and find the bitch himself!
Or he needed to get me whatever drugs those women were on then so that I could conform. He just looked at me. (I think he was afraid I was going to pull out the cast iron skillet! LOL)
We SAHMs get NO breaks, no good jobs, atta girls, promotions, merit raises…NOTHING. Most of us don’t even get adult interaction until our Husbands get home from work! And if we really got paid what we were worth for all we do , it would be a SIX FIGURE salary!!!
Anyway, here is the comment I left over at CNN:
WOW! Just WOW! These comments are amazingly ignorant and misogynistic. I am a stay at home Mom and it IS a job in itself. It is not EASY, as one commenter stated. There was an article a couple of years ago that stated that if a stay at home Mom got paid for everything she does daily, she would earn a six figure salary!
Anyone who says we have it easy obviously doesn’t have kids. Or is a moron.
I am very disappointed in the author quoting Liz Gumbinner. She wants everyone to “Blog With Integrity” when she can’t even do that herself. She wrote an article on BlogHer about Trisha’s PR Blackout that was filled with inaccuracies and half truths. When they were pointed out to her and she was given the sources to get the facts straight, she flat out refused to do so. She does things for traffic, the more inflammatory, the better.
I personally cannot stand behind a campaign created by someone who believes “Do as I say, not as I do” is an ethical way to blog.
Furthermore. i stand behind every word I write on my blog. If I make a mistake, I admit it and then correct it. That, my friends, is true integrity.
And yes, I have a blog. I like to write. I like to share my opinions. It doesn’t make me or anyone else a bad Mother. It does not cause us to neglect our children. I will also guarantee you that only a very small percentage of women bloggers make any significant amount of money from them. They are the exception, not the rule.
And for the record, I have never once approached a PR firm or company asking for a product to review; they have all come to me. But in order to properly review a product, you actually have to have it in your possession, right? So if it is a product I don’t own, I am not going to go out and buy it at the behest of some PR rep that I don’t know from Adam.
Therefore, the company has to send the product to the blogger. This isn’t rocket science kids.
That first one you C&Pd is just stupid. COddled and indulgent? You mean bright, well socialized and hilarious. I am thankful I get to see my children every day, watch them grow, see their personalities develop. So why the attack on SAHMs there?
As for attacking bloggy moms? Sigh. No comment. I think everyone is haters nowadays. It’s sad. Us against them. Us against Us. Them against them. Where is the love, peeps.
Oh man having a regular job would be much easier then staying home all day. My sister-in-law stopped working and says watching her kid is much harder then any job she’s had.
I get to blog during nap time…oh yeah depriving my child… i should be watching him sleep or something right?
I love you.
Allison wrote:
My sentiments exactly except I have just 3 children. I don’t think i would ever have my babies in care of anyone that isn’t family. I have read too many shaken baby stories and blogs to ever trust anyone.
@ MMJ:
I’m glad you found a great place to leave your child, and you’re lucky to have, because that’s not always the case. There are some great day care centers and providers, but there are also some that people just have no idea who they’re leaving their children with, or in what situation.
Many many years ago I worked as a delivery driver for a restaurant. In the town I was working there was a state licensed day care center that I frequently delivered to. It was located in a house, but not one where people lived, it was just used as a day care center. Well, one afternoon I delivered food there and knocked on the door, actually I knocked several times and no one answered. I could hear the kids inside so I opened the door and stepped in. The administrator wasn’t at her desk, which was just inside the front door, so I walked through the house. There were children sitting in front of a TV in the next room, so I stepped over the baby-gate separating the rooms and still didn’t find an adult. I went into two more rooms before I found the staff, standing in the kitchen chit-chatting.
It broke my heart that night. Those children were truly being ignored and what was worse is that anyone could have came in that door and kidnapped a child, and no one would have been the wiser, me going that far into the house approved it. I knew then that I could never leave my kids in a day care center, ever.
I mean, the parents that were leaving their children there thought it was great. It was state licensed and the staff had all undergone background checks and whatever, but in the end, they were just there for the paycheck, and the parents were clueless!
H.E.Eigler wrote:
Damn. Me too! To make time to work and blog we must really neglect our children! FREAKING IDIOTS! (I’m going to stop there)
Trish wrote:
Amen! Unlike my husband my job never ends.
This isn’t fair. I’m a full time working mom and I’ll be damned if I have strangers raising my daughter. After 4+ years I consider them family…so much that I’m dreading putting her in Kindergarten next year and having to start over. Putting my daughter in daycare/preschool (whole other debate!) has been the best thing for her hands down. They have given her so much more than I could have education wise. She is so smart because of all they’ve taught her and loves her teachers and friends.
I think there are pros and cons to each side…SAHM or WOHM. Regardless of which side you’re on – we should be supporting each other instead of tearing the other side down.
Andrea wrote:
I am so sick and tired of hearing that mommy bloggers are bad mothers and ignoring their children. I don’t work outside the home because I don’t want some stranger raising my children. I had my kids because *I* wanted to take care of them…which I DO! I only blog while my kids are asleep or if they are playing quietly with one another. I don’t ignore my kids in order to interact with other moms and share my thoughts, advice, experience and life. Mothers need to have an outlet and some of us have been blessed to find other moms out there (in bloggy land) that need/want/desire the same things and actually enjoy each others company.
Being a SAHM is the hardest job I have ever had. There’s no being lazy, sitting around watching soaps all day while eating bon bons and typing away at our computers. Being a SAHM is a FULL time 24/7/365 job. Blogging is our break just like a working mom gets her lunch break. My kids are loved, fed, read to, played with and taken care of. Most of all they are happy, smart and kind…NOT spoiled!
Kim @ What’s That Smell? wrote:
A friend linked me here to read the post and I’m loving the comments. I could not agree more. But Kim? I think I love you for what you wrote. HERE, HERE!
Wow, just wow! I would really like to give my 3 kids to a couple of those commenters and let them see just how sitting on their bum feels at the end of the day. (Obviously none of them have ever been a sahm.) And actually, I spend tons of time with my kids. My daughter even works on our blog right along with me. The SMALL amount of money we make from the blog goes towards her college fund. I feel like I contribute way more than I ever could if I was working.
emily e wrote:
Well obviously they missed their time to have kids so they are pissed not at those that can and get to stay home with!Cat wrote:
Couldn’t agree more, it’s funny how people my family included, thinks that stay at home moms are those who don’t know anything, for goodness sake I have more school than half of my family put together!!!
Behaviours like this are the reason I wrote Stay At Home Mom By Choice, Not Because I’m Mentally Challenged
emily e wrote:
Well obviously they missed their time to have kids so they are pissed not at those that can and get to stay home with!
UGH…………..Ok I’m …I shouldn’t say it…but I’ll just ask this! Do those people hang out with my family really??? (meaning my mother and other members of my torture)
I’ve learned that if I want to maintain my sanity, I should NEVER read the comments on a story on the website of a newspaper or newschannel. Its really amazing the amount of hate-filled and idiotic comments that news websites get. Absolutely amazing.
I will give you all the working mom’s opinion. Yes, I work outside of the home, 4x a week, 10 hrs a day. If I didn’t, my house payment would not get paid. We live in California, which is very expensive. Yes we could move, but tell my mom that we are moving, World War III.
Anyway, could it be that us “mommies” actually blog for fun as a hobby and then it turned into something house.
Even though I work, I do remember having a small infant, child, etc that had nap times which held me in the house. What was I supposed to do while he napped, etc? Just sit there and stare at him?
Crap am I supposed to be watching my kids while I’m blogging? Umm..be right back.
Lee
Trish wrote:
Now dont knock the bon, bon. I did just have some doughnuts and milk.
And actually i do blog all day. I havent seen charlotte in….5 hours? 6? She is at SCHOOL.
Hey, atleast im not having an affair to fill my time!