This may be a very strange post to be writing at 12:22am. I’m usually asleep by now. But alas my oldest has caught the stomach bug that went from me, to my youngest son, and now to my oldest. He said a super cute thing. “It looks like I caught the bug Landon had. Except I didn’t throw up bugs.” Kids are just adorable! Even when I know I’m going to lose sleep they are adorable, that’s what coffee is for to make it through the night to take care of my kids.
Sure I don’t “love” this like my husband said I do. But it’s what us Moms do. Which brings me around to my title. I want another child. I do. But I don’t all at the same time. I’m sure a lot of us feel this way!
I mean Trisha flaunts her adorable baby P! It gets my baby fever revved up. Then there are a ton of other new babies or moms-to-be in the blog-o-sphere and on Facebook. That does not help things at all! I’ve wanted another baby, that one shot to maybe get that girl I wish I had.
Landon's Baby Picture
But I know it’s not feasible for us. We could support another child no problem. But we need to buy a house. We have ran out of room in this one. We need a lot more money for a down payment, so I’m throwing money into our savings to hopefully get their sooner rather then later. Because I want a baby!
Then again I don’t want a baby. Landon, my youngest, is 2. He’s getting more independent and not clung onto me all of the time. Vacations are going to get easier because Landon will be able to do more things. We go on vacations about 2-3 times a year, so it’s a big deal for us… well me. Since it’s mainly me taking care of him.
Maybe I will want one when both boys are older? Then I can concentrate on that baby more then the older ones because they will both be in school. And then I feel bad for Landon because he didn’t get that “only-mommy” attention because Hunter was only 2 when I had him. Then the boys will be older then the baby! So then maybe I should have another one so the other baby that I don’t even have yet will have someone his/her age.
Hunter's Baby Picture
So I am fighting the good fight to not have a baby. Although now that I put up pictures of my babies that is making it very hard. Because this is super confusing and I don’t know what I want. Please tell me I am not the only one!
Yea I totally relate. My first birth was long and incredibly painful. And he was severely jaundiced along with a collapsed lung and air bubbles on his heart. NICU for 45 days. Then my second birth was actually great. Once I started pushing she was out in 5 pushes. It was great! Then when we got home she started having problems. After 5 ERs, 3 ped visits, and a screaming mama I got her into a children’s hospital PICU. Found out she had Benign Neonatal Sleep Myoclonus. It’s a seizure like disorder. Every single time she fell asleep she had seizure like activity. I will try to find her YouTube video I took. It was awful. By the time she was admitted she was 9 days old. I hated slept in 6 days. Having my husband deployed during both times was so hard. For him and me. I just want to know what it’s like to have a healthy baby and bring them home with my husband. I know this might sound weird but I feel cheated some how. Like I missed out on some great bonding experience.
Of course having healthy and thriving kids now is amazing. There were times we didn’t think that would happen. So I feel incredibly blessed to have my two kids. Even though they get on my nerves occasionally
Well good luck with your desicion. I hope you find what would be best for your family.
I totally want another one and hopefully I will be able too! If you feel you are not done, then don’t try and prevent it
I hope you have another one too Kim! I know how much you want another baby.
I felt the same way for a long time. I have a 4 and a 2 yr old. My 2 yr old is almost out of diapers. She’s leaving the “clinging” stage and becoming more and more independent. And I recently finally started my own business that I’ve been dying to do for 10 years. Plus my husband doesn’t want anymore. He said if we could have a baby, send it somewhere for 5 years, then get him/her back at age 5 it would be perfect. He’s obviously joking. But I love the newborn/infant stage. It’s the toddler stage that gets me. Mine have a mean streak from 2-3
But your not alone. I had a horrible time breast feeding. Sometimes I want another one just so I can try it again. And my husband was deployed for both births and about the first 3-5 months of the babies lives. So I would love to know what it’s like to have him there for the birth and first few months. But idk. Do I really want to have an infant and 2 kids in school in a year? I’m almost to the point of having some “me” time during the day.
My kids are the same ages as yours!! Though my boy isn’t almost out of diapers haha. But he is getting more indepentdent… sometimes.
But I hear you on that “perfect” experience. I did fine breast feeding. But I want the perfect birth for me. Which I did not get with either of my children. I just want that redo and third chance.
I’m blogging now though, and making decent money. So I don’t want to be blah while pregnant and blah when the baby is born and lose the money I’ve been earning. Which relates to you having your own business as well.
This is just too confusing haha.
I can tell you that the 5 year age gap I have between my two is awesome.
In a few months, I will have 2 with an 18 month age difference. I think I may go insane.
Yes you are going to go insane Rachie.