Since the conception of momdot, aside from having a community blog in which to spend my time and knowledge, the goal ultimately was to make money while doing something I am passionate about.
Let me repeat: Make Money doing something I am passionate about.
That does not make me ashamed. I am not ashamed to put ads on the site I work all day on. In fact, I just signed another contract. I am not ashamed to send rates to companies that want my virtual real estate. I am not ashamed to sell text links. I am not ashamed to support the family that I so proudly represent here. And I am not ashamed to tell people that don’t believe that same sentiment that they are living in some nonsensical world where my time doesn’t equal money.
I cannot tell you how completely and utterly furious it makes me to see anyone downgrade the importance of moms being able to take their websites, youtube channels, and blogs to the next level of creating a full on income from their site.
And even worse, I am consistently seeing “big” bloggers give shoddy “advice” to others that they should work for free. In fact, I heard recently a conference even touted that moms need to work free for companies in order to market themselves. If this is the advice being passed out at conferences, I’ll pass. The second corporations entered the world of mom blogging was the second it became an industry.
My blog is not your internship program.
You want me? No problem.
But let me warn you, I’m no ones bitch girl.
You can take me or leave me and its up to your company if I am the right representative for you, but the difference in me and others is I know my WORTH. I don’t sit here and get arthritis in my fingers, gain 7500 twitter followers, and sign up for every social networking site under the sun so I can spread the goodness and love of someones multimillion dollar corporation in hopes that someone else notices me.
Notices me for what? For more free advertising? Puhleese.
When was the last time you walked into Walmart and they gave you $20 in a gift card in hopes that your shopping experience is fabulous and you tell your friends about it.
If you don’t want to compensate me, hire someone in your office to be your social networking guru and I wish you luck and success and there are no hard feelings.
That should be everyone’s attitude.
You know why review blogging pisses me off so much? Not because I think moms are selling out too much (although some are) and not because content is a way of the past (even though partly it is), but because there are so many moms that have yet to figure out what their worth is.
Moms are allowing themselves to be used.
USED.
Companies are pimps and moms are the whores.
And guess what? The pimps are collecting 100% of the moola at the end of the day. Dude. Don’t whores deserve even $5 for new heels or something? And while “mom bloggers” are not technically a group that has a union and has to follow each other, nor would I ever want it to be, those that lead and stand out should realize that they have a responsibility. A responsibility to educate the companies and the bloggers and set an example. The more they accept free as a form of payment or encourage it to everyone around them, the more free will show up and everyone else hits a glass ceiling on monetary success.
And if you are new…it feels glamorous. Exciting. OMG, I got invited somewhere. They picked me. Yeah, I get it. Trust me. It’s cool when you’re on the “list”. But eventually those invites and requests and posts turn into real work- atleast if you are doing it right. And when they do, that’s the point you realize that what I am saying has a real ring of truth to it.
Do you know what happens to a company that gives everything out for free? It fails. You want to know why mom bloggers around you fail? This.
Its simply economics.
The time away from your family in traveling, or advertising, or marketing, or posting. It’s work. And its not just about the products. It’s not about the free product bartering. I’m actually in favor of some of that. It’s overall. If you haven’t taken your site and created an advertising value to it, a skill, a way to bring in some compensation, then why would you ever consider day in and day out of lowering your value to nothing?
Do you want to know how much money I made from MomDot site last year? Not products, in cash. Over $20K.
I can guarantee you that my site isn’t the most popular, has the most traffic, or has the most involvement online in social arenas. I cant even decide on a template from month to month. I hate twitter, I came to facebook late in the game, and I don’t hang out with everyone cause I don’t have time. In fact I know lots of bloggers with less traffic then I have that make as much as, or more than I do, with their blogs.
They’re non-niche parenting mom blogs. They know their worth.
And I realize $20K is chump change in the real world. I have a freaking college education and years of experience making millions of dollars for companies. I am a creative genius that refuses to spend anytime away from my child. But sitting in the privacy of my own office, hanging out with friends online, and creating content that I believe is interesting, controversial, helpful, or fun, I added a supplemental income to my families household because I came up with a plan and put it into action.
And my blog isn’t quite 2 years old yet.
Make no mistake here; that’s not a brag. That’s me telling you to stop selling yourself short and to stop letting other bloggers , “big bloggers”, tell you that you have to gain traction by working your butt off for free.
What you have to do is set some goals, put something unique together, get an audience, become a personality or presence, and make it happen. Not everyone will make it happen. Not everyone will make $1000 a month or even $100 a month. But I can assure you that your income will always be $0 if you keep taking on every little thing that comes your way because someone dangled a carrot in front of you, and 400 other bloggers, faces in hopes for some futuristic deal that may never present itself.
Do you know what I do when someone turns down my negotiation? I delete the email and move on. I don’t lose one bit of sleep over it. It’s not my loss, it’s their loss. Its one less thing I have to do in the morning. I put my energy into something that makes me money or makes me happy.
And you know, I do work with some companies for no cash-money compensation. I’m not saying if someone doesn’t pay you, totally move on. There are exceptions to every rule. I’ll help out friends who ask for my help, I do it for companies I really really love, I try to help out mompreneurs consistently, and I barter for someone if it has some benefit to my family like a trip or a household item I need or want.
Again, I know my worth.
Sometimes that worth really is the product barter! But it took me some deep involvement in the blogosphere for the past year to realize what others were saying before me. There is far too much undervaluing going on every day around us. And the sad part is, the goals women have online don’t match the perception they are giving.
Do you know what companies see when you work for free? That your worth is free. That the amount of effort you are giving out and the value you have assigned to that work is zero.
And you know, I don’t blame companies one damn bit. I don’t. Cause if I had a company, I would absolutely be using the lowest bidder with the largest audience. That, my dear, is us. We are the lowest bidder with the largest collective audience on the web. Where is all this free advertising going for companies? How much overhead is being saved? It’s not reflecting in my grocery bill, I can tell you that.
If you are a leader in this community, if people look up to you, start doing everyone a favor and support the collective goals around you by pushing them forward, not holding them back. There is no magic number. There is no “you have been a blogger for 4 years and NOW you can make money”. Could you imagine what it would be like if we turned our selves into more of a united front?
This is capitalism.
It’s day one, baby.
~Trisha

[...] Among them was a very emphatic one written by Trisha on Momdot.com entitled I work for me not for free [...]
Trisha, well said. There was a time when everybody thought Social Media was free or inexpensive. That assumed that bloggers were willing to do stuff for free just to get recognized. Times have changed and relationship and value should exceed free. I am working on a model now that involves creating a strong value exchange with bloggers and social networks that allows both parties to get what they want — whether that be product or compensation. The market is still evolving and marketers have to buy in to the value of Moms and consumers who provide much more relevance to the business as opposed to “free advice”. I’d love to work with you in helping we as marketers navigate through this storm. Please feel free to contact me.
You said it sister. Very well put.
Trisha you could not have been more inspirational to me! I am considered a “newbie” with my website. And do all reviews for free! But if I say something not so nice about the product the companies send me, I`ll get a long ass letter saying they should have been notify to why I made it a negative review. As to me I see it is positive feedback. Here you go “X” Company here is some FREE feedback to make your product only better! And what do I get? hmm it made me think…After reading your post… F-them “X” companies. I do what I love to do, you like it? Send me $$ if not, who`s next?
I can say that this was a truly wonderful and inspirational blog article to not only other moms but many bloggers out there. I sold myself short when I sold my first site, which eventually made it onto TIME… I sold it for around 10K thinking it wasn’t worth more, and of course, I kick myself in the butt now. In the meantime, I’ve had 2 kids, the youngest being on 9 months old, and created new sites to generate income but I still have yet to tackle new sites due to the idea, of “work”. I’ve been invited here and there to events, but yes…it’s great, but challenging especially when you are raising children!
Amazing post Trisha! It is very easy to loose sight of your worth. When I first started out I was taking every opportunity and it just got so overwhelming it wasn’t worth it. Now I am taking my time and just doing my thing. I make a few bucks a month and hope for more, but I am not going to sell my self short. It will happen when it happens.
Trisha,
Just this week I got a call from a VERY WELL KNOWN high-end stroller company. They wanted me to host s giveaway for a new stroller for them. I said, great, what kind of marketing dollars do you have to support this….the conversation continued. Bottom line: They wanted me to host for free. I turned it down, but told them I welcome a paid relationship whenever they are ready. I value my site and my efforts. Thank you for putting this into words.