Im not pregnant, Im just fat……..
This morning I woke up and had a comment in moderation. My blog must have been trying to save me from this comment when it put it into moderation…….when I opened it up to approve it, I had this on my Funky Friday post:
I thought……..im not pregnant. Did I say I was pregnant? OMG. Do I LOOK pregnant? I go rewatch the video…and I assume she meant from this part of the video..
While that comment would have been sweet, if I WAS pregnant…let me assure you all….i am NOT PG. I had on some velvet pants and the tops of them were too big. I put on an undershirt and a shirt that has a lot of material at the bottom, its stretchy, and it had rolled up. In fact, there is SO much material on this shirt, I wore it in Vegas…as a Dress. A short dress…but a dress.
See:
Now you have caused me to go outside and have a ritual burning and burying of my pants and shirt.
I had some friends a few months back play a big prank on me and told everyone I know that I was pregnant…so I opened up my email and had 50 emails congratulating me on being pregnant. I was like, I’m pregnant? While that was funny, I really think the blog visitor thought I AM pregnant. So I took a few photos this morning to prove that I am NOT.
I do not have a perfect body. I am not 21 anymore…I am 30…..I have had a child. My skin has stretched and is never going back. Also, honestly, a lot of it comes from the fact that I have NO BOOBS. So its an illusion that my stomach sticks out, but its really that I have no boobs.
The funniest part to this all is that we got this Slendertone thing in the mail this week. Where it came from, I do not know. I think the company wants me to try it out? Its one of those things you put on your body and it contracts your muscles while you are “doing nothing”. I saw it on an infomercial this morning in a coincidence. So I rushed to get it out after that post……….my husband decided to video tape me. And yes, I did pick a wedgie on camera. We are all friends here, right?
So lets just stop this rumor right here. I. Am. Not. Pregnant.
Now im going to go eat a doughnut. Thanks.
Richard (31)
Crystal @ Simply ... (1)
Thao (1)
37 Comments
ok this is too funny! But I am so shocked, because you are so TINY! I would love to be your size…beautiful babe
SSsssssssssshhhhhhmmmmmmmmccccccccccccccccuuuuuuukkkkkkkkkk!!
that is the sound of a lipo-suction machine…
whirl, whirl, suckky suckk… pphhitt
it is sucking out some of my fat for You to deposit in your Boobies, if you so desire… LOL
don’t know what was poster was looking at.. most women have a tiny poochy esp if they have given birth… I wish mine was that tiny! Hahaha
Now… what would I give to have a body like yours????
gonna stew on that for awhile…
LOL! That was funny! You are soo tiny!! I got a worse comment when I was only 6 weeks preggers and someone on my MOMTV show said “awww look at that baby bump”
I was like “No, that is just my fat but THANKS I’m only 6 weeks along”
This is hilarious! And I WISH I could wear that shirt as a dress!
Too funny – sounds like someone commented on the wrong blog or something!!
That’s the funniest thing I have seen all damned day! And while I think you are adorable,i’ve smacked friends of mine bigger than YOUR little booty for calling themselves fat. Lol. (Cuz I’m only skinny at Lane Bryant.)
I love it! That’s totally hilarious and good for you for making a joke out of it in the end and showing people just how comfortable you are in your body.
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