I received a baby shower invite today from a neighbor. Lets ignore the fact that its on Superbowl Sunday and Ill be leaving if it even threatens to run into the big game.
The invite is listed to me-not Dh. Which of course is fine because he would probably rather stay at home I am sure.
But does this mean I can’t bring Charlotte? I was telling DH that it would be kinda ironic to be expected not to bring your child to a shower, since its about…well…children.
Do you think its expected to be adults only?
I feel like a moron calling to ask.
~Trisha
I’d ask when you RSVP. I think it depends on the person being celebrated. I have always felt that events like this are celebrating family not just one person and I wanted kids there. We had special activities set up for the kids including special cakes just for them.
see, the invite said REgrets only, not RSVP.
I think showers are generally elegant, so it is better to ask. It’s like taking your child to a wedding when it isn’t specified whether children are welcome or not.
It looks like you have gotten some great answers…..generally here children are not invited. There has been 2 occasions where it has been more of a welcome baby party/cookout type setting where the whole family has been invited. This is what my friends and I did for my babies. However I’ve been to them more often than not where I am the only one invited, because like someone else said it’s a girly tea party type of setting. With that said though, it obviously doesn’t hurt to ask! Charlotte is at a good age and I’m sure will listen well enough and probably even enjoy seeing all of the new baby clothes and gifts, etc…
just wanted to correct my error in sentence #2, it will drive me crazy. It should be *have not has.
we had people bring kids to my baby shower without asking, and while I wasn’t ‘mad’ I was annoyed, only because the kids that did come were a distraction. I would say no- unless you ask, generally all showers I have been to have been grown women only. sometimes (like mine) it was men and women too
never hurts to ask though!
I would ask when you call to RSVP. Some showers it’s OK, and others it’s not. Most showers I’ve attended have not had kids there unless it was the baby being celebrated.
I say no, but call and ask. But I’m with you…better NOT run into the big game!
Technically, Charlotte was not invited.
But we live in the real world.
What’s funny about this is that I am attending a shower Saturday and it never occurred to me that Nate (my 4 month old) might be an issue. For the time being, if a locale isn’t baby friendly, you won’t see me there.
Whether you need to call and ask about bringing Charlotte depends on how well you know your neighbor and the “vibe” of the shower. At my baby shower, most of the attendees were very good, family friends. Kids would have been welcome and the guests would have known that. If the shower is stuffier, then I’d call and ask.
And for the record, I’m not calling to ask about bringing my son. If his presence is a problem, I’ll leave.
In my opinion it is not ok unless you ask. At baby showers I think the point is to celebrate the mom and new baby and other children can distract from that. (I do think small babies are always ok) However, I had kids at my baby shower and didn’t mind at all. We had it at a community hall though and there was plenty of room for them to run around and be separate from the actual shower. It can be hard to play games, oh and ah over baby gifts or chit chat with a lot of other children around unless they have something they can do themselves. I think it just depends upon the type of shower, whether formal or informal but you must ask if Charlotte’s name wasn’t on the invite. I’ve never brought my own kids but then again, I usually look forward to them as a break from my own kids.
Whenever I host, I let people know kids are welcome. At my shower, kids were welcome. I went to my sils shower and brought my boys. People love kids and babies. That’s the point of a shower, unless its all hoity toity and at a tea party place or something.
That said, I am NOT brining my boys to a shower I am hosting for my friend. But her daughter would be there. But there is no way the boys would be happy there after a long drive and blah blah blah … so I am leaving them home with daddy. But my friend was disappointed to find out. And on the invites I didn’t say kids were welcome … but I wouldn’t mind if kids came and neither would she.
So … uh… ask the host. I am sure Charlotte would be a doll.
Oh – just to be clear – when I host I let people know verbally, not on the invites, that kids are welcome.
If the invitation was to “Trisha” no you shouldn’t bring her. If it was to “Haas family”, she was also invited so yes, you can bring her. I’d definitely play it safe and call to ask.
And, reading the comments, I think I’m in the minority but most baby showers I”ve been do have not included children (other than the infant being celebrated if after the birth or other small infants).
By the way, rule of thumb is that whoever is on the envelope is invited. Anyone not on the envelope is “not”. But again, rules have changed and asking never hurts.
Lee
see, and the funny thing is, i was invited because DH is friends with her DH, not because I am necessarily friends with her. We have only hung out once or twice. I mean, i like her, but we never see eachother.
I think it depends on how well you know the neighbor. When you RSVP, ask if you can bring her, that’s probably the safest way to play it (and what I usually do). I’ve been to some showers where the conversations were somewhat adult themed but nothing I was *too* worried about my kids hearing.
I’ve never been to a baby shower that didn’t include kids. In fact, most I’ve been to include husbands as well.
I, personally, feel that means just you. Here children do are not invited to showers unless personally invited. I think people were annoyed I brought Gavin at 6 weeks to MY own wedding shower! There was no one was I was leaving my newborn home….plus it was MY shower lol! I would call the person who sent the invite and ask. I don’t think its silly to call. It lets the host know either way you cared enough to ask.
Well seeing as how, laughably, I am Miss Manners, the answer is no, you can’t bring Charlotte. At least not unless you ask. Which is fine, you can call and ask. A shower is NOT about children, it is about a woman having a child. Very different. Call and ask, if they don’t mind her coming great, if they do, you have to be okay with it or not go. In my family children are not always welcome.
Lee
I’d say it depends on the child. I would never bring my 5 year old tornado but I’m guessing Charlotte would sit nicely and oohh and ahhh over the baby gifts. If I were hosting one, I wouldn’t care and I also wouldn’t care if someone called to ask if it was ok!
In my family, children are expected. So for me, I wouldn’t think anything of it…girl children I mean. I don’t think I’ve seen a boy child at a family shower…but then again, I don’t know for sure.
I would contact the host, Trisha. Otherwise you could commit a social faux-pas.
At least I hope NOT!
I have hosted and been given many showers and I believe every one of them had at least 1 child in attendance! I think it’s fine! It’s not like they’ll have a stripper lol!