Last night at Walmart………..

There should be a book called “Last night at Walmart……..” because I am convinced that 95% of all family adventures in life begin there, and last night, mine was no exception to the rule.

As soon as DH came home, I was ready. We had on our running shoes and were going serious shopping. Somehow my DH convinced me it would be ok to bring him and Charlotte, which against all instincts of mine, I agreed to. We left about 5:40 and get there about 5 till.

Now prior to going, I had been talking to Walmart via email and they told me it would be ok to videotape my follow up shopping adventure to share with you all, but I had talked to them about doing it on Thursday (today) but of course, we all know I have zero patience and to be honest, a house full of ZERO groceries, so I thought I would go that evening instead. You try to make it through the night with $6000 worth of gift cards in your house without buying something.

I figured if they let them know I was coming Thursday morning, surely they would know Wednesday night and I would just show up at customer service and talk to the manager. Honestly, all I wanted to do was do a few funny things with picking out some items and maybe saying hi to store employees, put some Rocky Themed music to it, and just have fun. I wasn’t staking out the store or anything. Heck, can YOU shop with a camera in one hand? I was going to need both hands for the majority of it – two fisted shopping fo sho.

Now this story has three main characters. (Well, four, but Ill skip “not helpful at all” manager in the graphics.)

We show up at customer service, I ask for a manager. Miranda (Melinda?), I think her name was Miranda. I have my proud little card (which I had them check to make sure had money on it first, lol) and my little Walmart letter and told her the situation and wanted to clear me using a camera.  I was E-X-C-I-T-E-D. I was following the rules. I’m introducing myself, I’m asking for permission. I would have figured it would have been a minimal phone call process or whatever she had to do. Heck, they could have sent an employee w/ me to shop, I would have easily put some 16 year old kid to use pushing my cart, no big deal. This lady disappears in her office for FORTY MINUTES. I stood at customer service for FORTY MINUTES why she made phone calls. I stood there so long that I opened MY phone and called the Amazing and wonderful John from Walmart who ran the contest and asked HIM permission. I honestly thought she was going to turn 3 shades of red when I said that I was going to make a call too. I was just trying to move it along.

The wonderful and patient John, who didn’t even ask me why I had his cell number in my phone, talked to her and she STILL wouldn’t clear me because she could not get a hold of her district asset protection person. Oh, good God at this point.

Patience. Wearing. Thin.

I have now broken into a coke I haven’t paid for yet to calm my nerves.

I’m trying to avoid saying something snarky like…..”so…..people have cell phones w/ cameras and could case this place all day, and I show up with a  huge digital camera that cannot be hidden, my husband, and 4 year old, a letter from walmart, a 2K gift card, put a walmart corporate guy ON the phone with you, and I am the one you have to clear from asset protection?“

She finally came out and gave me a no. The thing is, I could take a no, I really could. It was just that I didn’t feel any empathy from her at all from it. In fact, I just walked off and didn’t say bye to her. Yes, rude, I know, but its better then an argument and by this point, nothing was safe coming out of my mouth. I know my limits.

The bright spot was this older lady named Martha, whom I believe was the Customer Service manager. She stood there and chatted with me on and off while I was waiting alone. She was telling  me about a guy who won 14 million bucks over at the casino last week. Every time she saw me standing there, she gave me a little motherly smile and nodded her head like she was feeling sorry I was still there. Thank you for recognizing my plight, oh dear Martha.

After I left CS, I almost let the wind be blown out of my sails. I wasn’t sure…should I shop and just not do the taping then? I really had this whole thing planned! Should I wait till today and try to get it set up before I got there? We decided to shop. I needed groceries and we were there and had been for 40 minutes already. I told Charlotte she could pick ANY TOY she wanted in the store and I went grocery shopping.

As I am walking down the aisle, I notice “Not-helpful-at-all” manager hustle past me with another woman, here on out dubbed as Cartman, probably a department manager judging by the insane amount of keys and walkie talkie on her. I head to the kids area to go through some clothes for Charlotte and all of a sudden Cartman is literally two clothing racks from me talking to an employee about something. I look up and she is looking OVER the racks at me and I catch her eye. I’m thinking….OK, just coincidence. I finish up getting a few clothes, go into the kids underwear and socks, Charlotte’s in crazy need of those, pick some out, then head over to the girls department.

Now Cartman is in THAT department too…scanning things…..I look up. Surely she is NOT looking at me. She was. Holy Crap, I’m being followed.

This is where I tell you I was the #1 Loss protection employee in the district when I worked for Target and I have a BA in Criminology. I know when I’m being trailed; I definitely know when its not someone trained to trail someone. So I get on my phone and call Chris on the other side of the store. I walk down another lane and turn and wait for Chris to meet up with me. We are now in the underwear section.

And who turns the corner and almost runs smack into me? Cartman. She now realizes I am on to her and she kinda saunters to the changing room counter and is openly staring at me. I think more in shock then anything else that I was right there. By this time, DH has caught up with me and  I said, very loudly, “I am thinking of just leaving the store because I am sick of being FOLLOWED around”.

This was our path around the store:

HELLO! My camera has like $400 worth of groceries piled on it in the bottom of the cart and we all know that I can afford to shop right now! Are you just trying to get on my nerves? (btw, you have no idea how happy I am to have italics back.)

By now, Chris and I decide to just mess with them a little bit and we are walking around and the manager goes over to the jewelry counter so she can watch us not steal the books we were looking at, while telling three other employees to stare at us. Have you ever watched people stare at you but try NOT to? Here is a hint: You notice when an entire group is all turning around together.

So DH and split up. They cant trail us BOTH! I am practically jogging through the food aisles on one side and DH goes to the OTHER side of the store, he he.

I think they gave up after that.

I want to say that I understand why I could not tape when the lady couldn’t find someone in her area. I feel that. I agree a store has to protect itself, but w/ the rise of cameras in cell phones, I’m not really your enemy. Not the person that stands in customer service with 4 cameras on her for 40 minutes, you know? I’m not exactly inconspicuous at this point. However, I don’t understand the following me around part. Were they worried about me not paying for that coke I had opened in my basket?

I thought corporate and John were super mega helpful and I love them. And I still love Walmart and I’m still grateful to even have had won. Plus, it made a terribly interesting experience AND I am sure there will be lots more coming considering I get to go to Walmart all year and shop. Walmart is one of my favorite stores. Like I said…….every great adventure starts with “Last night at Walmart”, right?

And the toy Charlotte picked out of ANYTHING she could have in the WHOLE store?

Snakes.

Our Damage:

The total:

$533.90

Oh and Martha, the really  nice lady that kept me company while I was in customer service waiting the whole time? We bought her a $25 gift card to Applebees so she could treat herself to dinner. She had some good Karma coming.

~Trisha