By nature I am someone who gives. I will give to any homeless person, person in need, collection boxes, donation drop offs, and toys for tots out there. As you can imagine Christmas can be quite an overload of charity for me.
In fact, yesterday I went into Walmart and came out with a super kick-ass steel HUGE Tonka Truck for Toys for Tots. I had this theory to buy one really cool toy a child out there instead of like 5 $5 pieces of junk that will break 10 days after Christmas. It sounded like a good idea in my head anyways.
Plus, I’m a sucker for a man in uniform and that Marine was hot.
Now I am not telling you this to pat myself on the back. I’m telling you because I want you to realize that I am a perfect target for anyone with a hand and a sign. Regardless, I believe that most people on the streets are truly in need and its rarely someone trying to fool you.
You can pretty much tell if someone hasn’t had a shower in…oh….ever.
So yesterday I finally ventured out to the area in my town that has a mall. Its pretty much the most packed road in the entire city. I avoid it like I avoid paying bills. Or changing baby diapers. It has the shopping, food, car dealerships, ice cream shops…if you want to purchase or go anywhere, its one big long strip of hell.
After sitting on the interstate at a dead stop for 5 minutes, I was finally able to get off and slide into the left hand lane, opposite of everyone else, and pull nearly up to the light. There was a guy, homeless, holding a sign, wearing a ragged out jacket and windblown hair. I immediately looked around my car.
I don’t carry cash. I think it must be hard on the average homeless person because I doubt anyone carries cash anymore. My eyes settled on my $10 Starbucks card that I had just gotten from a PR rep in a Christmas card (thanks Dina!). Seeing as I have a bad-ass Keurig at home, I could do without the free coffee, so I rolled down my window and offered him the card.
He looked at me like I was crazy. No, really. Crazy look from a crazy eyed person really does drive the point across. Actually, he looked insulted. I said “It has $10 on it…I bet you could get a muffin? I’m sorry, its all I have.” He said “That’s all you have?”
I look around my car…”Yep. That’s it.” I felt kinda guilty.
And he says to me..
“They only serve pastries and I’m diabetic.”
Huh.
Beggars can be choosers.
~Trisha
Actually, they have sandwiches too.
But wow.
That’s surprising seeing as how he could sell it and get $10 cash off of someone.
Oh my gosh!! That totally stinks but seriously? I would have thought that he could find something. I personally don’t see any homeless people in my small home town, however, I personally don’t think I would give money to a random stranger on the side of the road holding a sign because of the stereo type that they all use it on alcohol. I would rather give money or items to a program like Toys for Tots or a business that helps provide shelter for homeless people/family’s. I did take my 7 year old to pick out a toy for Toys For Tots this year and usually do each year, ever since I had to use them for two years in a row as a single mom to get my DD her only gift … so now we give back a toy every year.
I’m sorry you got attitude in return for wanting to give. It happens sometimes. I’ve found that the people who truly need it don’t turn it away.
Unbelievable! Some people just don’t know a good thing when they see it.
oh yikes, I’m so sorry he didn’t have a more gracious reply. They actually serve non sugar items like hot oatmeal, whole wheat reduced fat turkey bacon sandwiches, and plain ol’ iced cold 2% milk. Sounds like he really wanted cash. So sorry. And thank you ever so much for donating to toys for Tots. I run our local Toys for Tots and the people who receive those toys are always so thankful. And I also think it’s better to give one really good gift. Most of these low income families would never be able to get a Tonka Truck like that.
Next year…. think about offering to help them sort the toys. It’s amazing!
I can’t imagine saying no to a Starbucks card, lol. That’s so sad, though! I think it’s brave of you to open your window… I’m always so nervous. Probably shouldn’t be, but one time one of those homeless guys next to the light started yelling and cussing my husband and I out – he was on some sort of rampage and I have no idea why. So I’ve been kind of scared to do anything.
I don’t know this persons story either…
and trisha, you have a wonderful caring heart…
but I tend to go with Kristen on this…
if he really is homeless, they may not let him in there, or even with a card let him stay in there, as the other customers would get offended or upset…
people on both sides are weird…
let’s all just try to be the best we can be and full of “good” cheer and hopefully others will catch it from us!
hugs
I was at a fast food restaurant and there were no cars and a man out front. I went through the drive thru and as I was driving around the man approached me, I told him “I don’t give out money but, I will buy you some food” to which he replied “no thanks”. I was shocked that he would turn down anything free. There ARE hardcore panhandlers out there that don’t want anything but, money. That’s why I don’t give money.
I encountered someone like that last year in town. He was a little old man standing on a street corner begging. I felt awful. I sent my daughter’s boyfriend into McDonald’s to buy him some food. When he gave the man the food, the man told him that he doesn’t like cheeseburgers.
So we waited around and someone came and picked this man up and took him to another part of town to do the same thing.
It certainly doesn’t mean that all beggars are choosers and it won’t stop me from giving in the future…but it reminds everyone that sometimes we can choose to do the thing that we feel is right and it won’t be appreciated.
I’m sorry you encountered someone like this. Don’t let it stop you from continuing to live with a generous heart. There are people in need out there who will appreciate your efforts.
I didn’t mean to say “for what doesn’t seem fair”…it should have been “what doesn’t seem fair”. Sorry!
I’d like to firstly respond to Cindy’s comment and say that it isn’t necessarily easy for diabetics to get disability, etc. My father is diabetic and has other medical problems, but cannot get on disability. It’s hard to get on disability, and for what doesn’t seem fair is that the person that genuinely needs it will have issues getting it…but the person who is just doing it so they won’t have to work will have no issues…or at least that’s the way it seems.
Trisha–I’m sorry you ran into this. It does kind of feel like a slap in the face, doesn’t it? He could have taken it to get a cup of coffee and be warm for a while. If he’s a “paying customer” they wouldn’t kick him out. I hope it doesn’t discourage you from giving from now on though…because there are people who would genuinely appreciate it. I used to carry (when I was in the city often or knew I’d be going there for some errands) a cooler with some sandwiches, snacks, drinks, etc. If I thought about it I’d carry a Thermos full of hot chocolate/coffee and some Styrofoam cups. that way if I saw anyone that I felt needed it (or that asked me for money) I had a simple solution. I was rarely turned down. The people that did turn me down…well, that was their problem. I wasn’t going to hand them money for alcohol or drugs. My husband has known people who made more money begging than they did at their jobs. It’s sad…but it’s the truth. Trisha I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas…and just because one person won’t accept your gift doesn’t mean someone else won’t. There are truly genuine people out there, I promise.
The other thing that I thought of just now as I went to post the comment was that if he really is homeless and “helpless” going in Starbuck’s may have seemed a far-off thing for him. Perhaps he had already been booted out or just felt horrible taking himself in there all dirty and everything. Just a thought. I usually try to think the best of people though.
Sure puts a damper on your spirit, doesn’t it? I try to tell myself that for every one of these scenarios there are many who are appreciative of whatever help is offered to them.
My husband went out to dinner with his brother years ago and one of them had ordered pizza and only ate half of it. They took the untouched half to go and put the takeout container in the car before heading into a store. There was a man standing outside the store asking for money, said he was hungry. My husband had no cash on him, but remembered the pizza he had just put in the car and ran to get it. When he offered it to the man, the reply was “I don’t want that – you ate off of it. That’s disgusting!”
He probably could have found someone that would have given him cash for that GC if he didn’t want to use it.
Something like this has happened to me in the past. Since that happened I NO longer give money to those who ask (except the firefighters).
If you’re hungry I’ll give you a snack from my purse or I’ll swing by and bring you coffee.
Still, a warm cup of coffee might be nice too…..coffee doesn’t have sugar in it.
Sometimes I hit submit before I’m finished.
I think this guy’s behavior definitely shows that some (probably most) people who beg are doing it because it’s easier than working. Otherwise, he would have taken the card and gotten some low-sugar food of some kind. They have that, too. And coffee, which doesn’t have sugar at all. Also, diabetics can get disability and other benefits pretty easily, so he was probably lying about that. He just wanted you to open your wallet. Probably looking for drug money.
You still were right to offer it, and I hope it doesn’t deter you from trying to be good to the next person who asks for help.
I may just start carrying gift cards.
I’m a sucker, too. I know I’ve been laughed at a little for giving money to people, but I figure if they’re lying to me about why they need the money, they’ll answer for that to their Creator. What if they really DO need food, and not whiskey? Yeah, I’m probably giving money to people who will waste it about 80% of the time. It doesn’t matter. God will honor my intentions whether they do or not.
See? You can be a complete cynic and still be quite generous. LOL
Oh wow! People need to learn to really be more grateful for anything. I don’t know his story and I don’t know what’s going on but you were being thoughtful which is a lot more than what others can say! I’m a total sucker as well! I really try to help out any way I can and give a lot of myself to others.