[private]

Now this is wonderfully bizarre. If any of you read my interview about me, you know that I was pretty honest that I have zero relationship with my biological mom. I can count on 2 hands, maybe one hand, the contact that we have had over the years. Trust me, it was a shock when I got a call from her when I was PG.

This is what I wrote in that blog about her:

My childhood: I didn’t really have a mom. Of course I have one, but I have honestly probably seen her in person 8 times in my life. I may be over counting, I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt. She gave me up to my dad in the 70’s when I was about a year old and he took custody of me. She was, and remains, and alcoholic. I’m not sure if i should be sad about it or not. I sometimes think if she dies, if I will even go to the funeral. My dad remarried my stepmom, and she was my stepmom till they divorced when I was about 16. My dad remarried, my stepmom remarried. My stepmom was murdered by her new husband after she filed for divorce for abuse. He broke into her house and shot her and then himself. This was my brother and sisters mom. My dad has a new wife and has been with her for about 13 years, give or take. She is wonderful, but my brother and sister will never like her because they lost their mom and feel she is a replacement. (picture: my sister and I)

My dad always taught me its better to forgive or better to just look the other way and be nice. People are people, and the live, they die, they have problems, failures, rewards, and its better to TRY then to not try. So I always sent graduation cards and when I got married, I sent an invite, those kinds of things, to my ‘mom’. Nothing. Silence.

But then when I had Charlotte, she appeared again. Ok, so I let her try. She even sent Charlotte a travel system and a nice toy box, which she still uses. But that’s it. So no contact since Dec 2005.

Then, randomly, I get an email through MomDot from her stepdaughter. Now “mom” referred to as Patty for the rest of the blog here, has another family, and I am VERY happy for her that she has that family. But I dont know her kids at all. I have never met them or even talked to them. I guess its a lose form of the word of stepsiblings. I mean, not only am I 30 years old with no relationship with this woman, but I haven’t met her other family, so its sorta pointless to start one now, kwim? We live in other states as it is. I was shocked to say the least. Santa Claus could have emailed me and it would have been less of a shock.

Back to the email. I got an email THROUGH the blog from her stepdaughter about a blog I did on my hair. I didnt even know what to say. I didnt email back. I just felt awkward. I am positive the girl is really nice, I am sure of that, but I don’t know her. And i was also wondering how she found my blog. I think she is around the 13-15 year old range.

Days pass…I get this comment in my holding over here just now...it says:

Trisha’s Mom

maybe i will tell the truth on the internet for everyone to read i bet your dad would love that, as far as attending my funeral or not,
i would not want you to go out of your way to attend,maybe then you ill let me rest in peace instead of all of the lying going on in your blogs, i bet this doesn’t get into our blog what an awkward moment it would be for you to read the real truth about your dad and i

So i wanted to print it and show…yes, it did go on my blog. And I did write her back and I said:

Patty, there is nothing truthful you could ever say. You have not even made an attempt to call me since Charlotte was a year old….thats been three years now. I have been nice to you over the years because my dad made me. You lied to ME as a child and it hurt a lot. You used to tell me cards nad presents and all sorts of things were on the way…and they never showed up. 10 years in a row. But its doubtful you remember because you were so hopped on alcohol my entire life. I haven’t heard from your parents since i was 10 years old. I cant even tell you what the Julians looked like.

Listen, im not mad at you for it, im a very good mom BECAUSE of it, so please stop spying on me and considering me your daughter. Because you havent been a mother. Atleast you have not been one to ME.

I dont think its a good idea for you to read what I write, because honestly, your not a valid part of my life and the only part i will ever write about you, is what you read. Not because I don’t want to, but because you have given me zero memories.

I wish you a lot of luck with your other family.

Take care.

That wasn’t the reunion I was thinking I would have. And what kind of tacky person would come to, who is supposed to be their child, and start saying “truth about your dad and I” . Dude, its been like 28 years since yall were together. What truth? Do I care? I really don’t care if y’all fought or argued or whatever you did. It doesn’t erase self responsibility over the years, does it.

I can guarantee you that if Chris and I divorced, Charlotte would still be my number 1. Then again, I dont drink.

[/private]