I let my Dh have a password and keys to the blog. I am not responsible for the posts he puts up. LOL! ~Trisha
Gentlemen’s Corner
by: Chris (Trisha’s insanely Handsome Husband)
Ever notice the difference between men and women when it comes to sex. It has more to do with the difference in point of view then anything, but it is rare that either sex ever really sees the other’s point of view. Below are prime examples of excuses that women will give on why they shouldn’t/can’t have to have sex with their mate followed by what men think is the solution.
Why women turn down Sex
- I have a headache
- My stomach hurts (cramps)
- I’m tired
- It has been a long day
- Can I give a rain check
- I have to get up early
- I have to work
- I need to check my blog
- I need to clean the house
- The kids are in the room next door
- Not while my parents/your parents are here. It’s just weird.
- My sister is here
- It is just different now that I am a mom. Moms don’t do those kinds of things.
- I am on my period
- I start my period soon
- I look awful
- I’m not sexy, how could you still want me
- I feel fat
- I don’t own anything sexy
Now let’s face it, men see these excuses as petty, insignificant and a lack of trying and sometimes caring. And, yes it hurts to get turned down so much. Men are simple creatures that simplify every situation to the lowest level.
In fact, we can counter every one of the above excuses/reason with one of three simple responses.
It will help you sleep better/Make you feel better
- · I have a headache
- · My stomach hurts (cramps)
- · I’m tired
- · It has been a long day
- · I just don’t feel like it/I’m not in the mood
- · Can I give a rain check
We can do it in the shower
- · The kids are in the room next door (muffle noise)
- · Not while my parents/your parents are here. It’s just weird. (muffle noise)
- · My sister is here (muffle noise)
- · I am on my period (instant clean)
- · I start my period soon (instant clean)
You are the greatest women and I can’t imagine my life without a women as hot as you
- · I need to check my blog
- · I need to clean the house
- · I look awful
- · I’m not sexy, how could you still want me
- · I just don’t feel like it/I’m not in the mood
- · I feel fat
- · I don’t own anything sexy
Just to be fair here is why men will turn down sex.
Why men turn down Sex
- Tom Brady hurt his knee and is out for the season. I have to get a new quarterback for my fantasy leagues before the good one is gone.
- Tony Romo is out for 4 weeks. I need to plan my strategy to make it through 4 weeks without dropping Romo.
- I am going Fishing/Hunting—Can it be a quicky?
- Can we do it after the game. I really want to…(15 minutes later)…What were you saying?
O.K., I know these are silly, but everyone of you know they are not too far from the truth. Men and women are just wired differently. They have different points of view and ideas of what is important. Women want to be wined and dined and frankly need to be put in the mood on most occasions. Men on the other hand can be in the mood with even the inkling of love making. It is all in the mindset.
And for the record, most women deserve to wined and dined, especially if you are a mom. Women are hard working, multi-tasking, life juggling warriors that can slay any beast in their path if they can fit it into their schedule. Often times it is these powerful qualities that turns us men on and drives us crazy to the point of wanting to rip the clothing from your bosom exposing the body that we want to ravish over and over again. The trouble, life doesn’t work like the romance novels. Most men aren’t Fabio, while most women most likely could care less about being ravaged daily, weekly, or in on some cases monthly.
I have a solution for both men and women. Ladies, don’t set your expectations so high. Remember, we are men; in are books we already won you over or you wouldn’t be with us. Men, don’t assume that because you are ready to go or can be at the drop of a hat, your partner will too. They need time, love, caressing and the occasional steak dinner with a side of cheese cake (to go). Ladies, don’t expect your man to do all the romancing. If you set your mind to get in the mood by trying to turn them on, it just makes things that much hotter. Gentlemen get off your rear end and help. That’s right clean, do the dishes, take the kids away for a few hours, cook dinner, vacuum. Nothing says I love you like housework. Both sexes need to put their minds in the heads of their partner for five minutes and see the world as they see. Then they can then understand why certain things are important to the other.
And though a gentleman never tells, your living room carpet will thank you (after the kids are in bed).
~Chris
haa haa I loved it! great post…
What is popping? Gas?
my dh is a trucker and gone all week. so my situation is completely different.
Alrighty Chris, you’ve known me for quite some time now and know that this does not apply to me at all. I am the odd chick out on this topic. So, what do you say when it’s the husband feeding the wife with a list of excuses??? huh??? Whatdaya do about that??? lol How about this one, I get this excuse from him sometimes….ready…brace yourself….
I feel poopy, as in…I have been pooping a lot today.
WTH is that about?!
That is the quickest way to get me to move a yard away from him though, so I guess he has learned it works when he doesn’t want sex and I do.
LOL What’s funny about the “It’ll help you sleep/make you feel better” line is that I have fibromyalgia, and when I’m really achy and can’t sleep, I’ll ask DH for some lovin’ to help me get to sleep. All the endorphins make the pain go away long enough that I can get to sleep and usually stay that way. And for the record, he laughs every time I ask for that reason.
speaking of that… LOL We did it while the boys where in the tub!! I know what you’re thinking but it didn’t last long, plus he was wanting it anyway, yesterday, and well he vaccumed the living room floor today. So of course I let him have it.
But I agree with most of Chris had said. Two years ago when I was still pregnant with James my youngest, he was always out fishing or doing this and that or at least it felt like it, and I was home, working, expected to keep the house SPOTLESS ALL THE TIME! Well I snapped one day while he was out fishing and went shopping with my big belly and Connor, when I got done the darn car wouldn’t start for $HIT. So I called my dad to see if he could help figure out what was wrong, he did and I was on my merry way still ticked off.
Dad followed me home and had alittle chat with Chris; after that he did a 180 and started helping out around the house. SO yeah what Chris typed it was likem y dad saying it to me over in my head. Crazy how that sounds uh.
Thanks for the reminder Chris.
OK you hit that right on the spot. thanks for the friendly reminder not to always turn him down
Maybe we should elect Chris to come be the weekly guest blogger to compliment Miss Behavin’…he can be Miss(ter) Behavin’
My husband was reading this with me, and he thought it was really funny.
Looks like you hit all the excuses. I usually am tired with a headache and need to clean. I figure with more than one excuse he won’t be able to counter them all! Great post!
I so agree with Cat, as I am the one always ready and my DH always is too tired! Damn men! LMAO! Nice post though Chris!
I love your question Cat…i’ve often been told i’ve got the drive of a man, but honestly we’re evenly matched these days…and we need a step or shelf or something for our shower! Sorry outloud note to self.
Great post Chris!
LOL So what’s your advice when it’s the husband giving all of those excuses (well most of them) and his wife is the one ready all of the time?
im guilty of the blog/work/house/parents/kid excuses. LOL
trisha
Very good read!!! My husband hust got turned down because of my “stomach ache”. I got the this will make you feel better line, that is his normal line.