I have been enjoying the fun little volleyball game in the blogosphere recently. Mainly because this time, I didn’t start it. If you have missed it, it goes something like this:
NonReview/Giveaway Blogger #1: You’re fooling me with your fake blogs on products. You don’t put out real content like those of us that talk about our baby poop and crappy husbands and spread our opinions on something real.
Review/Giveaway Blogger to Blogger #1: Don’t read it then and suck on this egg I got from Egglands Best.
NonReview/Giveaway Blogger #2: You’re ruining the blogosphere with your fake, sticky-sweet positive free product content.
Review/Giveaway Blogger #2: I’m going to mow you down with my John Deere mower and then use a Hefty bag to take you out like the trash you are!
I’m going to let you in on a little known secret:
Women actually can’t stand each other.
No, really. They can’t. I bet if you’re a woman, you can still think of an ex-B.F.F. right now and every terribly mean thing she did to you all the way back to the 1st grade. Don’t lie to me, I know you can. Women don’t wear makeup or clothes for their husbands, they dress up when they leave the house solely in hopes that other women won’t judge them (as harshly). I’m willing to even wager that blog templates came from women feeling competitive to have a nicer blog then the one they just left.
Economy at its finest.
Women LIKE to judge. I am not sure if its genetically or society breed into us, but it’s nature to constantly nitpick and nag, and once Al Gore invented the Internet, it put women behind computers and gave them a way to interact-and therefore be awesomely different.
And argumentative.
And mean.
Almost like some sick little dream come true that all the silent judging could now be spread anonymously to someones email box. Or eBay account. Or ooh…Blogs have audiences. Let’s go with Blog!
I was reading this well written article yesterday (by the lovely Jennifer James) about mom bloggers just getting along, possibly (although I am unsure) a reaction from this post by Suburban Turmoil and I am here to play devils advocate. Don’t be shocked.
I don’t think it’s necessary to all get along.
In fact, I think it’s impossible. Without controversy, difference of opinion, people to rock the boat and challenge the system, what is the exact point of being an individual? In being a blogger? In a way, our differences unite us and help us find those that are like us.
Could you imagine people as one big happy family. Truly? How utterly boring. Vomit. Blech.
Now before you get your panties in a bunch, I’m not saying its OK to be a complete B every day. And no, I don’t condone making up fake accounts to be a bully, but I also don’t think sit necessary to always be a community of one. And I really think its OK to express when you disagree with something going on; I’m a fan of that whole freedom of speech crap and all that. In real life I don’t get along with, or even know, all my neighbors. Even in families you won’t like (or love) everyone equally…surely someone here has that weird uncle or that crazy aunt that you don’t want to spend time with.
Its pretty hard to expect that online life will be hunky dory just because we all call ourselves mothers that share the same blogging hobby and therefore we must have some common ingredient to get along. We don’t. In fact, being a parent almost makes us more likely to NOT get along. We have added that to a public platform to put out our opinions. We are going to be very stuck in how we do things, how we parent, how our finances are, how we want to raise our kids, it makes us defensive, and aggressive, and reactive, and judgmental.
Sprinkle in some text and tone that are impossible to detect, twitter, facebook, email, myspace, an iPhone, and a few buddies to back up your opinion, and it’s a recipe for ‘The Perfect Storm’.
If you are just damn lucky enough to find a small group of women to hang out with everyday and they are just damn lucky enough to get to know you on a personal level and you all collectively can keep from truly arguing or gossiping about each other for any length of time, its a pretty big accomplishment.
I mean HUGE accomplishment. Possibly colossal.
What I would like to see come out of all this is not a big argue fest (as much as I enjoy sticking my thirty-five cents in the middle of it) but more of an attitude of… “I guess that’s not a chick I would hang out with cause now I know we would not make good friends”. Blogs are pretty cool if you think about it. You get to prescreen someones thoughts first and decide if they are worth your time. Maybe we needed blogs back in grade school and there wouldn’t be all these ex-B.F.F.s floating around. I would have known that she was a backstabbing, boyfriend stealing……..er……..sorry, got off track.
Arguing with strangers is good for the soul. So you don’t kill your husband. Or your kids.
Blog arguing could be saving America’s families!
Besides, you are also more than welcome to join the MomDot community forum if you’re a blogger that needs a friend, but please note that we will have to jump you in, we use the Cast system, and will kick you out if you suck.
Just kidding.
~Trisha
P.S. This post brought to you by our good sponsors at BobGear. Which BOB is right for me…
So, I understand that things aren’t all fuzzy sweet between women. I get along with most but I have played a mighty large cat at times in my life. I just DON’T understand why it is so much like high school all over again. Ugh.
I haven’t received any bad/negative/hateful/rude comments on my blog yet and it will be a year old in Aug, I consider myself lucky because I know there are a lot of trolls out there.
This past week I was on the local news and someone had the nerve to completely attack me and my blog with rude, f-bomb insults but of course anon, no name left.
When I first read it I just wanted to cry. I have a lot of insecurities about myself and being on TV was hard for me BUT really do you have to be like that, what was this person’s point??
Of course I wonder if it’s my old bff just trying to get back at me LOL Like Trishia said above, almost every gal has an ex bff.
I deleted it and let it go, I’ve received so many POSITIVE comments from local readers since it aired, I don’t need that negative one.
@ Trisha-admin:
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t!
Well… I haven’t had a negative comment on my blog, yet. I know, give it time. I do have another mom with different view points from mine that comments. We swap comments back and forth, respectfully. We give and take, respect each other’s views and go on with our lives. I love it. I love being challenged by a different point of view, as long as the other person is respectful of mine, just as I am respectful of hers. We have our own viewpoints, based on our own experiences, but the one thing we do have in common is the love we have for our children.
I couldn’t agree more! If we were all the same and all got along like BFFs then blogging would get boring. No, drama isn’t really my thing but having a blog where you can post your opinion and then have someone else come back and say, ‘uhhh…no! This is how it’s done…blah blah blah’ you may actually learn something that is better…or not! lol I love having friends that are different from me. I love that (some of us) can have good arguments and speak our minds and still get along at the end of the day. Having friends with different opinions is what I love and learn from.
However, I do wish that people could speak their minds without sounding hateful and/or rude. But that will never happen! Great post Trisha….as always! (sigh)
No way. I love all people everywhere all the time!
Toss me in the boring category because I have yet to have a nasty comment. Except for the disgruntled Peter Walsh sticker guy.
I just don’t get it. Really. I’m not kidding, I don’t. Why, why, why does anyone care what kind of blog another person has?
I get that jealousy is the root of so much of this stuff but really, if you want it, go get it, don’t put down other people that worked their rears off to get it.
I’ve learned the world ain’t turning if someone ain’t bitchin.
@ Debbie:
snort!!!!!!
Aw so what no sleepovers or exchanging friendship bracelets in blogland ? That sucks !
Miss Blondie wrote:
well…minus the mature part. LOL!!!!!!!!
I love it! As always, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. You’re right, we are not all going to get along…it doesn’t happen in the real world and its not gonna happen in the blogosphere. What I like best about you Trisha and this community, is that you accept and encourage peoples opinions. We’re not all going to agree on the same things and you allow people to express their sides…in a mature non-bullying manner.
Lori E wrote:
Would you like to throw a stone…or a nut? LOL
Okay maybe I am just not trying hard enough but I have never had a negative comment. I must be so boring and innocuous that there is no point in even getting a little choked at me.
Now I feel inferior to your blog. I will have to come up with something really spectacular to tick people off so that I can play comment wars too.
Hey drop by and say hi.
I knew there was something good about you Trisha. You aren’t the fake person online that so many people are. You stay true to yourself and show others the reality that is.
Thanks for throwing it all out there again. You know what I loved the most about the whole post though. I guess you could call me a nerd…the Al Gore thing. I almost spit my coke out.
i love you. i want to just sit and pet your hair.
seriously…
some people need to get off their high horse. because honestly,
if you wanna know the truth…
some of those blogs, and i’m not mentioning specifics…
you could fall asleep from.
anyway…
i am having a giveaway on my blog…
a cloth diaper filled with baby poop.
Trish you are too funny. That is all I can say about this post. Everything that you have written is the truth. I agree with you 100% that if everyone got along it would be pretty boring. I just don’t like the fact that some mom/women bloggers will let jealousy get the best of them.
I have had numerous nasty emails and comments left on my blog and I am nowhere near any kind of significant accomplishment in my “blogging career.” What is so funny about one comment is that it was suppose to be “anonymous“. They wrote it with their blog name, deleted it and then reposted the same exact comment anonymously. By that time I had already gotten an email with the comment in it. All this hatefulness was from someone who tweets, comments, emails me on a regular basis. I guess that is where the word “frenemy” came from. These exact actions.
I love your snarky writing, and I also love how you keep it real. I wish more bloggers were like you. That is why I keep coming back to MomDot. Please continue to tell it like it is.
Angela wrote:
sure! but dont expect someone to not bitch about it. Thats the great thing about blogging…LOL!
Great post!
But can’t we blog about baby poop AND free products? I don’t see why not!