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Yes, I cry.
I’ve always cried fairly easily, but this is getting ridiculous. Weren’t the pregnancy hormones supposed to disappear, oh, I don’t know – when I gave birth?
Or at least within a few months? Maybe when the baby started sleeping through the night? No, you say? What about once they walk and talk? Still no?
You mean I’m SUPPOSED to cry any time I feel slightly sad, or even just a little bit of joy?
Are you telling me this is PERMANENT? That the joy and challenge of being a Mommy means I will ALWAYS be delegated to the ‘super-emotional’ category?
My wires seem to be so crossed that I cry when tragedy strikes someone’s family (I don’t have to know them), when I see military men and women arriving home, when they show an emotional reunion on TV, during those coffee commercials (you know the ones, right?) or even when someone wins an Olympic event. And if I see another person crying?? Fuggehhtaboutit. I’m done.
I suppose I could get used to this whole crying thing – but lately there seems to be an extra ration of bad news in my extended circle. In only the past few weeks, I’ve known two mothers who buried their babies, a teen who committed suicide, a friend who’s father was hit by a car and killed, a man in his 30′s who was paralyzed on vacation, a mother who lost her teen to cancer, a neighbor who buried his pregnant 19 year old daughter and two young moms caring for children with leukemia and a dangerous heart condition.
Now – I am well aware that none of these things happened in my family, so I have absolutely no right to claim these tragedies as my own – and I won’t. I will, however, say that they have all left me feeling heavy. All senseless, all terrifically painful, these situations serve to remind me that I feel more than I ever have before and rather than blaming my mommy hormones, I credit them – for making me stronger, more capable of providing comfort and gracing me with the capacity to empathize as only a parent can do.
I have not walked a mile in the shoes of a parent who has lost a child. As a mommy, this is, by far, my greatest fear. I have not lost a parent. I am lucky. But I know that will not always be the case.
I can only hope that my greater sensitivity, my inclination to cry along with those who suffer, can help me to mimic the strength I am seeing in those around me.
So, bring on the Mommy hormones.
Guest Writer for MomDot.com
Danielle Smith is a wife and Mommy to two sweet and sassy small people. In her ‘free time’, she balances work as the founder and primary author of ExtraordinaryMommy.com as well as hosting The Spin Cycle on MomTV.com – a show that keeps you current and helps you to balance your world as it spins around you. She also co-hosts Why Moms Matter on Blog Talk Radio and is the Inspiration Channel Editor for MomItForward.com
This is an all Familiar thing to me. I remember before my Children I hardly Ever Cried. Then once I had My First child the waterworks started. Now that was 8 years ago.. : ) My Husband Likes to Tease me. You know- He’ll say to people My wife cry’s over everything.. HA! I just attribute it to A beautiful gift called Empathy! I’ve come to Love it. It shows me how to be Graceful,Loving,and most of all Thankful..
Christina
@kathleen
I would love to see the poem –
danielle@extraordinarymommy.com
I can’t begin to tell you how comforting it is to know I am not losing my edge (or my mind!) I can’t help it if I cry. And Lisa – the Mommy Brain – I think it comes out with the placenta. I’m fairly certain a portion of my memory is gone forever. Thanks for commenting!
I cried while watching Flubber at the movie theatre during high school long before I ever became a mom. It was when the robot’s mom died… at least I think that’s what it was. I never watched the movie again. I was on a date and surprisingly he didn’t think that made me too crazy because we stayed together for a few years!
We’re women and we cry! I love a good cry every now and then!! It’s actually a little refreshing!
@ Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting:
uh, that was, “when they win” not win they win.
Another thing that has to go? Mommy brain. I want brain cells back, dammit!
Yeah, that whole crying win they win a car on Price is Right thing Has. To. Go. kthxbai
I was supposed to read a verse at my brother’s wedding, and couldn’t. I bawled my friggin’ eyes out and had to turn my poor brother down. I sobbed so heavily you can hear me in his video of the wedding.
Wonderful.
The moment I read your title and first sentence I was about to reply with “it’s not pregnancy hormones, it’s mommy hormones”…
Great post Danielle!
OMG Danielle, you certainly have a circle around you that is reaching out for support. What I know about motherhood is that it makes you stronger then you ever thought possible. It also makes you feel more deeply then you ever thought possible, which is why you cry … for everyone and everything!
Have you ever been in a shopping mall and you hear a cry call “mommy” and you turn around. My children are now young adults (clearly not calling mommy) yet I still turn. Just hearing you describe your extended circle made me tear up and feel sad in the pit of my stomach. Motherhood is not for the weak and I think God knows this and gives us moms super-human capacity for love, compassion, and strength.
BTW, I have a wonderful poem for someone who has lost of child. If you’d like me to send it to you, email me.
I am like that, too. I cry at the drop of a hat… every little thing makes me so very emotional. I’ll cry watching my children sleep… I cry over each milestone that happens. I cry when my 3 year old writes the letter ‘C’ for his name. And reading or hearing the terrible and sad things that happen to others that I don’t even know completely pull at my heart-strings, too. I’m an emotional basket-case!