More Time with the Kids?!

More Time with the Kids?!

Let’s face it. We are ‘overworked, under paid, tired, still have more to do, I need a drink, I need to get laid, I need a babysitter, I need a vacation and a vacation to recover from my vacation’ kind of people. Well, you are if you are similar to my family. What does this mean for family time? What’s that? We all need to spend more time with the kids playing, talking, being parents…….. but how? There is just no time. Or is there?

You can make time for your kids (and spouse), but you have to first change your mind set. Parenting can be a chore, another block to check mark in your day, but it doesn’t have to be. I remember when Charlotte was born. I still wanted to come home, play on the PlayStation, relax for 30 minutes, do chores, have me time. I soon realized I had no bond with my child. Why? Because I had my brain and life set on “Chris and Trisha”, not “Charlotte and Trisha”. I was a daddy now and it was time to give up me. This is the first step. No, you don’t have to give up who you are, but you have to redirect who you are with your child(ren).

This can be hard and this can be boring, but not if you have the right mindset. My day consists of the following:

0650-0745 — Wake-up, get ready for work and Charlotte ready for school (Trisha sleeps until 0710 and takes a shower. She does Charlotte’s hair, picks up the house, and takes Charlotte to school).

0800-1230 — Work (me at office, Trisha works out of home)(Trisha picks up Charlotte at 1215 and brings her home)

1230-130 — Home for lunch

130-530 — Work (Charlotte naps for two hours and Trisha works)

530-730 — Play time with daddy (Trisha cooks dinner and plays too)

730-800 — Dinner

800-830 — Get Charlotte ready for bed (Trisha usually picks up the house or takes bath)

0830-845 — Convince Charlotte that it ready is bed time and that we “talked to Jesus twice already”

845-900 — House chores (Trisha goes back to work until 1130)

900-945 — Work out (running, push-ups, sit ups, general calisthenics, stretching)

9454-1130 — Cool off and watch TV; Complain about how old I am getting and wonder why I hurt like this at 29

1130-1200 — Shower get ready for bed

0650 — Get and do it all over

I have a busy life. The weekends aren’t much different other than work time turns into play time which can turn into work if I am not in the mood. My point, however, is that I know this schedule. It rarely changes other than to go to the store in the evening. I have dedicated most of my free time to playing with my kid. Why? Because it is important. Nothing in my life means more than ensuring that Charlotte is taken care of and that means one on one time too. I will admit that I am not perfect at it. There are days that I tell Charlotte “Look, not today. Give me 15-20 minutes”, but I try to minimize those as much as possible.

I figured out long ago that if I was going to be part of her life and not just a provider, I was going to have to make sacrifices and that means make time. That also means giving up running, watching TV, playing organized sports, and being irresponsible (for the most part). I won’t have to give it up forever, but it is necessary now to build that bond with my child at an early wage so she trusts me when I am older. I want to mold her into the best being that she can be; ever keeping in mind that one day she will have to be on her own. What better way to teach her life lessons than to be part of it. As you can see from my schedule, I have built time into my schedule in the morning, during lunch, and afternoon/evening time. I believe that its a fathers responsibility to play at least 50% of his child’s upbringing and not just rely on your wife to be the sole parent, just because she is in the home more often.

I am unique in that I live 10 minutes from work and have a lot of leeway in my schedule. My point here though is not to criticize someone for not spending time with their kids, everyone does the best they can when they have the time. Rather, if you want to spend more time with your kids then do it. There is no better time than now. Yes, you have to give up some of your time, but it is well worth it. There is not a parent in the neighborhood that could not tell you who I am or who my child is, because I am there when she doesn’t want to be left alone.

Change your mindset, change your schedule, change your child’s life.

~Chris (Trisha’s DH, Charlottes Daddy)