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…is now just a smoldering pile of ash.
On Friday Night Live this past Friday Trisha and I talked about bloggy burnout. A number of things were touched upon, in big part self-imposed pressure and guilt, but I really believe that we made some progress in establishing why a mommy blogger, and particularly THIS mommy blogger was ready to pack it all in, close up shop and go bag groceries at the supermarket. Heck, it pays more.
When I first started blogging a little over a year ago, I actually enjoyed it. I would often wake up in the middle of the night and be excited over a post idea that popped into my head. I was interesting and funny and there was a passion in my “voice” when I wrote.
Now, hundreds of product reviews later, it has become a chore. My 3-a-day posts have turned to barely every other day and even those are contrived at best. Don’t get me wrong, I like reviewing products. I like discovering great new things for my kids and quite frankly I like UPS showing up every other day with free stuff.
But at what cost?
And it has nothing to do with my integrity, that is unwavering. But my passion and my heart, the thing that woke me up in the middle of the night with excitement over my next post has turned into something that still keeps me up at night, but not from excitement. From stress. The pressure to meet my commitments. The drive to provide thorough reviews up to my standards for my sponsors when there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Throw in the stress of daily life and yes, I thought about closing my blog forever.
But on Friday I realized that the blog is not the problem. I am the problem. My greed. My desire to have as much “stuff” as I can, get the next great review, and keep up with or even “one-up” the Joneses. I got caught up in the hype and the hype sucked the life out of me.
I appreciate all the companies and the PR reps who have reached out to me and I am thankful for their trust and their support, but I am walking away. I joked the other day that if it ain’t a car, a computer or major electronics, that I will not be doing reviews and as much as I laughed, it’s pretty much true. It is going to take something REALLY shiny to get my attention from now on. Or something green. Green and with the face of a former President.
Dooce said something interesting in her Good Morning America interview (along with some frustrating things as well) and it is something Trisha has been saying to us all along. That we have to realize the VALUE in the advertising we are providing for these companies, because that’s what we are doing – advertising for them. We’re not Consumer Reports providing objective opinions about products. We are like celebrities being sent a free pair of shoes for their kids. We are virtual billboards, where the presence of the product on our sites is a tesimonial – only we underestimate our worth and the value of our time and are willing to accept that pair of shoes in exchange for a couple hours worth of our time writing about it.
So if PR wants to find me, I’ll still be at the same place. Only, I won’t be responding to pitches unless they knock my socks off (and my socks are being held on with suspenders). If they want to share their client’s products with my readers, they can purchase an advertisement at a competitive rate or post a press release for a fee. I may consider running a giveaway every month, but that too must be something outstanding that knocks the suspenders off my reader’s socks.
I need to step back and find myself. I need to clear all the boxes and bagged air off my kitchen table and just get back to being a mommy blogger and more importantly a mom. All the real clutter has clouded my brain and has muted my life in a way that I am no longer comfortable with. I want to be in awe over the way my daughter say “ma-ma” and the way she crashes into a wall just to make me laugh, and I want THAT to be the most important thing I have to write about in a day.
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@ Sarah, The Ohana Mama:
I read dozens of blogs a day… that’s right a day! I love to find blogs that inform and/or entertain me. I may not always be able to comment but I do read them. I’m of the belief that you don’t ask others to do what you’re not willing to do. So how can I expect others to visit my blog if I don’t visit theirs.
I’ve never gone to your blog because of a giveaway.
@Kim – I’ve never had a review or contest on my blog (I have talked about a couple of things I purchased with my own money and liked)…I will be starting to do some though. And because of many of you I will be sure to keep it in perspective.
I have been blogging for over 15 months because I simply love to write. Writing brings me great pleasure. And although I don’t get the traffic many of you do, I do average 13,000+ unique visitors a month and that’s without ever having the first giveaway. I’m pretty proud of that… because I know that they are coming to my site for it’s content not what I’m going to give them for free.
I’m saying this because I know that you can have a faithful readership with just writing about what interests you.
Good luck!
Kim – You know I have been following your blog from the get-go when you first started, and I knew you were destined to be a rising star. I just didn’t realize how quickly you would go into the stratosphere – you’re blog is phenomenal! How you manage all you do, time commitments, family obligations and being there for everyone on MomDot is beyond me. The sheer multitude of friends you’ve developed – just by looking at your numbers when you did the Virtual Shower.
I totally agree with what you’re saying, and if you or any of us need to step back, and realize just how deep we’re into this, it’s better than therapy. I really like your analogy with what Dooce said. We are almost walking billboards.
We got into blogging originally, I’m sure as a release, and now we feel obligated and held hostage by our desires. We have to decide just how much we want to do from now on, and there is strength in numbers in our support for each other to support our decisions.
Here’s my TEMPORARY solution so I don’t get Bloggy Burnout http://angiemarion.blogspot.com/2009/07/public-relations-representatives-simple.html (even though I’m about 75% there)
And that,my friend, is why I love you. Way to lay it out, all your cards, face up. And in the same moment, expressing the very things I too have been mulling over in my mind. I love my blog. I love my bloggy friends. But I have to compensate for the time I spend away from my family and away from the homemaking things that cannot continually be overlooked.
I am really counting on BlogHer to help me find some sense of my center and how to balance it. But most of all, I cannot wait to meet you.:)
This so hit home with me. Thank you for articulating what I’ve been thinking. (Except that my rambling thoughts also included a forbidden curse word. Or 2.)
It isn’t about the stuff, it’s about genuine connection. I feel a bond w/my blog buddies, not with stuff.
The fact that I’m replying at midnight, having just finished my blog post for the night, is evidence that I can certainly relate! I admire your honesty, and your willingness to pull back despite any concern you MAY have about your readership. I’ve been blogging for 7 mos, and feel that I have something informative and entertaining to offer to moms. It is often thrilling. But it comes at a price for other things in my life. I’ve wondered how you all are able to do it, AND be present for your kids. The journey has certainly required me to re-prioritize and shift quite often.
Good luck!!
Good for you! YOU gotta do what’s best for YOU!