Last night I managed to talk my DH into rubbing my back before bed. Then he said the magic words…”is there anything else you want rubbed.?” Why yes there is………. my feet…you asked!
I’m laying on the bed (no, this story isn’t going to get naughty) and he is rubbing my feet and then he grabs my toes. Silence. Oh, great, here it comes.
“What is THIS?” (inspecting my toe nails).
“Its going to CUT me! OMG, this one is CURLING OVER your toe.”
“My wife is so beautiful and takes care of herself, EXCEPT for her toes”
“Trisha, this isn’t like blond leg hairs, you can SEE these”
If my toe nails are even a tad bit too long, he gets so melodramatic. I tried to tell him that I leave them long so I can slice off his leg when he is being a jerk, but no dice. For the next 10 minutes while he rubbed my feet, all I heard was the drama:
“You really should cut these.”
“I just sliced my hand open!!!!”
“These are longer then a Yeti’s”
“Is this some sort of nail growing competition?”
“Im bleeding!” (this includes dramatic sounds of someone being murdered and half falling off the bed)
“You could put a french manicure on these they are so long.”
Ok, Ok, so I forget about my toes. I wear socks all day! Its not like they are knarly. My socks dont have holes in the toes where they broke through or anything. I’m thinking of cutting them and putting them in an envelope for his stocking for Christmas now.
~Trisha
Your hubby sounds like me. I’m always picking on my hubby for his toenails. It doesn’t help that toes just gross me out in general. I once broke up with a guy because he had gross feet. (Did I just admit that??) They just creeped me out and I couldn’t get passed it!
Ah, yes…the toes. I think mine may even rival yours:
http://generalhysteria.blogspot.com/2008/10/just-little-care-for-us.html
Then again, maybe not?
Mia of General Hystera’s last blog post..A Letter From A Child With Autism
ROFL! My husband calls my toenails “daggers” because they are so long. He keeps telling me I need to go get a pedicure. Why I have not gone is beyond me.
That is hysterical! I’m totally cracking up. I think you should put them in his stocking.
Jen@OurDailyBigTop’s last blog post..Christmas Past
Note to self…do not come on here while eating…you may run into Trisha’s yeti toes. Eeeeewwww, I’m sending you some nail clippers.
Andrea’s last blog post..Scrapbook Saturday
I was totally expecting this to end another way because my hubby has the foot fetish thingy but oh well. I agree with tracye on the presentation idea! Hilarious!!!
BTW – I found your blog by Barefoor foodie.
Average Girl’s last blog post..A Thousand Words Thursday
I would cut them if she would let me. I would send her for a pedicure but she doesn’t like them. She doesn’t like those ladies touching her feet and she says it hurts. I am the only person allowed touch her feet and only in the form of massage.
CHRIS’s last blog post..My Toenails are a legend.
Get a velvet jewelry box and put them in there, wrapped all beautifully!!!
Oh, and don’t forget to have the video camera going!!! We all are going to need to see his face when he opens it!
Tracye’s last blog post..Critter Conga by Parents
@ Trisha-admin:
I absolutely busted up laughing thinking about him knowing french tips lol.
Now you have to find something to give him a hard time about. LOL
Jenna’s last blog post..Sunday Stroll-Posts Worth Checking Out
I haven’t seen my toe nails in two months, I can’t even tell you what they look like.
Cat @ 3KidsnUs’s last blog post..Recipe: 4 Way Holiday Fudge
I would totally put them in his stocking!
Leah-Diaries of a Domestic Goddess’s last blog post..Blog Awards Galore!
My hubby is metro, too, Trisha – don’t feel bad. He planned more of our wedding than I did. And if I EVER thought of trying to make a decorating decision without him – the world may come to an end. It’s sad.
As far as the toenails, I totally hear ya – we wear socks ALL the time and the last thing on our minds is our stupid toenails. My husband once told me “Holy crap, you almost MAMED me!” when he was being a jerk and I kicked him while we were watching a movie in bed. Seriously. You men are so ridiculous. Must be nice having time to luxuriously groom ourselves on a daily basis. Moms don’t get that luxury.
Libby @ WelcomeToLibbyland’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Can you say UGLY HOLIDAY SWEATERS???
@ Kelli:
i know, only him. He is quasi gay. What do they call that? Metro sexual? Thats him.
@ fidget:
Your an evil genius. I love it.
This is too funny. Love a good chuckle first thing in the morning. Sounds like your husband is a great guy! Love that he knows toe nails need to be a bit longer for a French Tip Pedicure…
envelope? I have 2 words for you: keepsake locket
fidget’s last blog post..What about me? Win something!
LOL Good Idea!! LOL hahahahahaha, Chris could have gotten the clippers and gone a step further and cut them for you.
Then he simply MUST buy you gift certificates for pedicures for Christmas! Its the only way…its for the greater good…
Colleen – Mommy Always Wins’s last blog post..Weekly Winners – December 14 – 20, 2008