Where are all the black moms?
Alright, thats a bit blunt, but I mean it.
I live in a town of 50% black, 50% white (and 100% hick, but that’s another story) but online I only see one or two black women wander into my pages, assume they are in the wrong spot, and seem to disappear again. I get all excited…everyone be quiet, someone from another nationality/race is here, lets not scare them away…. but then poof, they are GONE!
Im starting to think my site is eating all the black moms.
In the blogging world I just expected gobs of women to be around- all kinds, all shapes, all colors, all over the world and shockingly, it doesn’t appear to be true. I have an online network that spans about 700 women and I can honestly tell you that its such a small percentage of black women, or women of any color outside of my own race, and it really throws me for a loop.
Even on the new MomDot community article submission pages, I specifically opened a front page place for all Women of Color to be recognized and its like a ghost town. I get an update in that section maybe once every 1-2 weeks.
So lets have at it……..are women online segregated?
Richard (31)
Crystal @ Simply ... (1)
Thao (1)
25 Comments
I think women are probably segregated online, because just like in real life we tend to associate whether we will fit in by first impressions. Online it is hard to get a real sense of a first impression, or to give one properly usually. So, we just notice one thing and go with that. Maybe race is the first thing we happen to notice online. For some reason, if we are a different race, since we have nothing else to base our impressions on to know if we will clique, we make a decision based on that? I am hispanic, though most assume I am caucasian based on my fair skin.
Hmmmm THAT is a very interesting observation. (sounds like I should say that while pushing up my glasses)…
And it’s interesting that you should raise that question now because I have been wondering the same thing or actually just been pleasantly surprised when I make friends with a block mommy blogger or see her in a social network. What gets me is that IT SHOULDN’T. Just the fact THAT I am surprised obviously means there’s not so many around at least where I’ve been hanging out and I can’t seem to figure out why, other than just the mere fact they they are looking for support etc from their own community because of specific issues, needs, understanding they feel they can only get within.
I don’t think it’s necessarily intentional segregation I just think we gravitate to where we feel most comfortable.
Women of color are out there. I’ve come across a few blogs and the sad truth is that they are filled with untruths. There’s one blog from a women of color, who isn’t quite honest with her posts. Honesty is what we are looking for. It’s okay if your house isn’t large, and the bank account isn’t filled with lots of zero’s, just be honest. Share your life for what is it, not what you’d like for us to believe it to be. We are all looking for a connection to enrich our lifes, make are days a bit easier, and to know that we are not alone on the journey of motherhood.
Women of color are exceptional and have so much to offer the blogging community.
That’s a funny question. We’re all over the blogosphere, just like all of the other moms. The truth is that (although we’re not hiding it) most of us just don’t go around announcing that we’re Black when we visit other bloggers’ sites.
As far as submitting community articles and such, I can only speak for myself as a Black mom. I’m super busy with my own blog and paid parenting writing/consulting/etc. in addition to trying to be the best wife and mom that I can be. I usually submit one guest post to community sites/blogs/etc. That’s all that I can handle at the moment with 2 kids under 5 at home. Moms like me – Black, White, etc. – are just strapped for time!
(On another note, several of us will be at Blogalicious ‘09 – you should come – everyone is invited.)
I don’t have a blog, but I do go on coupon forums and of the like. I have made many friends that are Indian, some hispanic, but not many black women either. Im not sure as to why.
@ Teresha:
You should join..we are not a mommy board, we are a BLOG board. We do graphics, and html, and blog trips, and PR, and contests and comment groups…its probably the busiest blog forum on the net. You really should test it out because as a new blogger, if you want to grow and learn, i think you would be happy.
Btw, the links to the community are on every page on the top left in the dots..you can reach the community login, submit, forums, etc. right there no matter where your at.
trisha
@ trisha:
I admit I haven’t joined the new community…only because I am a member of a few other mommy forums that I already struggle to keep up with (plus I feel interacting with bloggers one-one is more fun). But I am someone who puts up or shuts up, so I will give it a shot. One more suggestion before I go register, maybe including one link from the community in your daily post (could be a featured blog or an article submission).
I do see a few blogs with women of color maybe they just haven’t found MOMDOT yet.
@ Shynea @ Penny Pinching Diva:
you made me laugh shynea! You are an asset to our forums and our entire community.
@ Teresha: Your right, i do not visit other blogs often. The reason is because I run a whole community, im not just a blogger. My time is divided against trying to keep it personal here, then running the forum and all the women there (which is where i do most of my interaction w/ bloggers, i encourage you to join, its great for newbies) and then of course the community pages where we let mommies submit thier articles. I am literally going back and forth 10 hours a day…its exhausting. When i was just a blogger, i was all over the place, but now that i am a community owner its very different.
If you join the forums, you will get to know me quite well and me you! Its not on purpose that I dont get around, its just time limiting for me. We do, however, do our best to advertise other moms by providing free blogger listings, free article submissions, etc.
trisha
Oh, we’re definitely in the blogoshpere and on MomDot. Denene @ My Brown Baby has your button on her blog. So do I. I am new to mommy blogging and have managed to make quite a few friends of all races, most of whom I’ve met through SITS. I subscribe to MomDot and post every now and then, but the communication sometimes feels one-sided (just being honest)—-meaning that one of the admins, usually Trisha, posts about the hilarious, frustrating and inspirational stuff going on in her life and readers respond with comments cheering her on. I am as supportive as the next gal, but as a novice blogger, I need some nurturing too. I was not aware of the Women of Color front page. I will look for it. But remember–just because you build it, doesn’t mean they will come. You have to think about what it will really take to recruit and retain bloggers of color and then do some outreach (or recruit a blogger to do outreach…hint, hint)
Trisha,
Shynea made valid points. Typically, I gravitate towards bloggers who have similar interests or lifestyles (ex: homeschoolers, eco-friendly, multi-racial families, mommies, Christians, and I also love to laugh – but not necessarily in that order or only of the above). Every once in a while, I search for black mommy bloggers (and find them), but what really keeps me coming back to a blog is not race or gender, but whether or not I connect w/the blogger. Since time is so limited between loving my husband, caring for and raising my children, and maintaining my household (I could spend hours online wasting time), I am particular about where I hang out on a regular basis. I really want to be able to learn something from what I’m reading, but also enjoy reading the trials and tribulations of other moms in the trenches – Cat (I MomDot through her) is one of those mothers who totally cracks me up!.
We’re here and we’re just like any other mommy blogger. We hang out and visit on sites where our interests lie. MomDot has become one of those places for me, for now.
@ Cat @ 3 Kids and Us: Cat, I’m a devoted follower of your blog (does that freak you out
?), comment often, a black mommy, and also raising biracial children.
@ Kathleen:
Sorry, thought I was leaving my websites. Please visit me at:
http://www.coachingthefamilyblog.com and http://www.glammagrandma.com
I’m here, but just learning how all of this works. I have two blogs, but since I’m new to all of this, I read, but don’t often leave comments. I’m going to BlogHer for the first time and look forward to meeting new people and learning a lot. Please visit my blogs and let me know how I can make them better.
I here, but just learning how all of this works. I have two blogs, but since I’m new to all of this, I read, but don’t often leave comments. I’m going to BlogHer for the first time and look forward to meeting new people and learning a lot. Please visit my blogs and let me know how I can make them better.
We’re here, and I know that I am definitely not hiding. I feel that to some extent, black moms do segregate themselves online. But then again, that could be said for any mom of any race. I don’t think it’s on purpose though. Me, personally, I interact with everyone and have been a long time participant of MomDot and now the MomDot forums.
When I am looking for a new blog to fave, I don’t look at color first. I look at the mommy blogger herself. Do we have anything in common? Is she a mother of boys? Is she raising a big family too? Is she funny? Things like that.
I think that moms of color visit blogs looking for that little something that they can relate to in a blogger. Whether it be in another African American or Hispanic or Asian or Caucasian mom. They just want to feel connected to something. Like they belong. Everyone is looking for their little spot on the internet.
And if MomDot is eating all of the black moms, I wish you would spit them out already, because even though I am a mommy blogger of color I don’t get a lot of other women of color visiting my site either.
Well, I may not be black but I since am hispanic and hispanics were mentioned I thoguh I’d say that I do read and participate in this blog and others around. I have noticed though, there have only been a few black women I’ve encountered, are you ladies here and just shy? what’s up?
I was wondering the same thing, because I have not seen one on my site…or as you’ve said if they come they quickly live…wondering why?
I have them follow me on Twitter but never on my site!
I grew up in Los Angeles county and there really was no minority in my school. We had a big mix of everything. Then I moved up here and it seriously took me a while to get used to not having that many other cultures around.
Charlene wrote:
thats interesting! Some of the bloggers she listed are friends to myself and my community and are stand out bloggers, but as a whole, there has to be more than 10 women that surf the net that are black or asian or hispanic. I wonder if women just hang out online w/ women of their own race..its wierd.
Interesting that this has come up again.
Perhaps see the other perspective here:
The African American Bloger Does Exist
http://www.momunplugged.com/african-american-blogger-exist/
You know, that’s very interesting. I’ve had a few women of a different race stumble upon my blog and interact with me in discussions of being a multiracial family but slowly disappear.
I’ve noticed the disparity myself, and found it odd too.
That’s a very interesting point! I have not encountered many women(or men for that matter) in the blogging world online that are of a different race. In fact, I can count them on one hand so far lol
The mystery will continue I suppose as to why…hmmmmm..