Do you ever feel like you are not good enough?
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a pity party.
I feel like I am a good mom, a good spouse most of the time, a good parent to my pets. I take care of everyone to the best of my ability and I love them with all my being. My house isn’t perfect, that is for sure, and we have a lot of scuffs and scraps and I can even admit that I lose it on occasion and want to just be left alone. My husband told me this morning that I was scowling….and I was. Phoenyx had spilled a glass of milk that Charlotte left on my nightstand last night (an had no permission to have in my room), so he was covered in day old milk and we all know the carpet is going to stink till I can get it out. At 7:15am.
And social media sometimes makes me feel….well…down.
Pinterest. Stumble. Instagram. Reddit. Facebook. Twitter. They all make me a sucky parent.
I don’t do cute little Bento lunches. Actually, I am only like 45% organic in this house at all. On occasion I even buy Lunchables to slip into my daughters bag. (which would probably have some of my friends cringing) I grew up eating SPAM, boxed macaroni and fish sticks with tarter sauce, you know?
My baking skills are more often deserving of being hidden in the bottom of the trash then a picture taken of them and shared on pinterest and instagram.
I have almost no cute little crafts set up in the house, I don’t decorate for the holidays unless it’s a tree (heck, we didn’t even carve a pumpkin this year) and all the fancy kid projects? I’d rather take my kids to the movies and eat popcorn.
Sometimes I wonder if I am doing it all wrong.
Like I am just half a mom cause I cannot believe all the amazing things the women online seem to accomplish within their own home and with their kids. If you were able to appear in my house right now you would see that I have a sitter over so I can do work and get caught up on things instead of sitting down to play blocks with my son.
Maybe I am not that domestic. Or maybe I am domestic on the most basic level on the planet.
Come to think of it, I still use sprinkle comet to clean the tub.
So tell me the secret? How can so many women be so damn perfect at everything?!?
~trisha
You and I are in the SAME boat! We didn’t even BUY a pumpkin this year! I would like to decorate for holidays (we do decorate for Christmas) but I hate putting it up and taking it down.
I have a great friend – she homeschools and still makes her kiddos bento lunches. She is crafty and has done at least 6 Christmas projects in the last 3 days.
I wish I could give you the secret, but I don’t have it. If you find it, let me know!
Ugh…we didn’t carve a pumpkin this year either…heck, I didn’t even buy one. I’ve been the biggest slacker lately.
No one is perfect. Trust me there is more to life and motherhood than crafts and cute lunches LOL. I can so relate to your post, I beat myself all the time about so many things I should be doing or should do better. But in the end I look at my daughter and see she is well behaved, smart, beautiful little girl that is thriving. And she is that way without extra crafts and perfect little lunch boxes
I feel the same way most days. And, I’m so glad to hear we weren’t the only ones who didn’t carve pumpkins this year!
I am in no way saying I am perfect, not by any stretch but I grew up going to school hungry, and not having any decorations or gifts for that matter, so I do over compensate by about 200%
I make them a lunch everyday (not organic, I ain’t rich! only fresh fruit though!) and I am pretty over the top on birthdays, and every random holiday that there is…I am also OCD when it comes to my house being clean, yet no one else is….so I clean it all. I also work full time and commute 45 mins everyday, and I am the girl scout troop leader
that being said…I am always tired, sometimes I snap at my kids for no reason, my back is so way out of whack I can’t hardly sleep when I do get to bed, I am over weight (by 30lbs) cause the only time I can go for a run is at 430am or 10pm and neither of those are appealing to say the least….every time I feel a mental breakdown coming on I always say I am going to chill and let some things go, but I can’t…my kids won’t grow up like I did, they will have better memories then I have.
Many of us look at you and think your life is perfect.
I think there is this falicy that we can do it all. We can’t. We just have to do the best we can.
Trisha, I look at YOU and I feel bad for all the dancing, picture taking and dressing up (to name a few) that you do with your kids. You are a great mom and I think we all struggle with feeling inadequate at times. I am a veteran mom of 18 years and I still have my days that I feel like my mothering or wifing sucks. You are an amazing wife and mother… you do what you can in your own way and it’s more than good enough!
Well then I am right there with you. And I use sprinkle commet too… I think it works better.
Zack’s teacher called me to see if I would mind doing a project with the kids in the class, I said sure what…and then she said the most dreaded words ever…BAKE WITH THEM.
I hate baking with my kids. They make a mess, stick their fingers in even when I say dont. I just don’t have the patience for that. But I am doing it…Zack wants me to be in the calss and this is what the teacher needs this month so I will.
But all that other stuff…so not me at all.
First of all, I don’t think it our job to entertain our kids all the time. They need to learn independence. If you spend some time with them during the day, even if you just sit down to dinner and chat with them about their day, its more than some people can do if they work or are single parents.
I do think that social media has distracted us but I’m not sure that women in the 50′s spent any more time with their kids. They had to scrub the floors on their hands and knees, make EVERYTHING from scratch, etc. Basic house stuff took more time.
I wouldn’t compare yourself to anyone. If you are happy with the time you spend with them, then you are allowed to have your own interests, in fact, I think it’s healthy for all of you.
SPAM is just gross BTW
I ate what my parents gave me.
I can relate with you a lot. I wonder how other moms do it and keep up. It’s almost noon and I’m still in my pajamas with no intention to get dressed. There are 3 loads of clean laundry sitting in a pile on my bed, tons of dishes in the sink and all I can think about is not having to cook tonight. We eat out way more than we should, my entire house is decorated in crafts that my sister made, not me. I could go on and on. I think what matters at the end of the day is that your family is healthy and happy. Who cares about all of the other stuff. And I see some pretty cute happy kids on your blog a lot. I think you’re doing a pretty darn good job.
I paid someone to clean my house yesterday so I could spend the evening with my spouse with no stress. *hangs head*
And in the end it was more important to spend time with your spouse. That’s what I call prioritizing.
I very much doubt they are perfect at everything but only showing you what they want you to see.
EXACTLY!
Ha ha, this is so true. There have been so many times that I’ve taken pictures around all of the crap in my house to give the illusion that it is clean.
LOL!! I am totally with you!! I bet tons of people are. I have this pinboard called “eat to live” where I pin healthy, from scratch recipes. That I never make. I really try and want to but after working hard all day cleaning and blogging and working, I’m so totally NOT in the mood to dice and saute.
And instagram? Yeah those pictures of the babies asleep at 7pm? Make me want to scream. I’m getting so much better at getting my kids to bed on time with a solid routine. But Lucy (2 yrs) totally sat up in bed playing, the whining, then playing, from 7:45pm-9:30pm. I was looking sideways at the benedryl by 9:30, I tell you what.
I love the Pinterest fail posts on blogs. Those make me roll!!
Oh I cook from scratch…fried chicken. ROFL. I had Chinese for dinner. And I didn’t cook it. And im thinking of having Panera tonight. I need to look up the pinterest fail stuff.
Btw, I would NEVER take a picture of my son sleeping at 7pm…omg, what if he woke up! ROFL
Seriously? You don’t do it any different than the rest of us…but some of us just highlight those moments better than others.
I have no hightlights. That is the thing. I cut the crust off charlotte PBJ. That is about it.
Totally not true, you just don’t think about all the things we see! You are always dancing around with P and taking pics of his cuteness. Hell, you designed him the most awesome bedroom ever and you do lots of crafts (see sidebar for reminder). I also remember seeing pics of Charlotte playing on her inflatable you reviewed as well as a million other photos of fun times you all had together. You are a great mom Trisha – and I don’t even make my son sandwiches most of the time – I make him do it himself (he’s 8). I have NEVER cut the crust…lol.
If I dont, she takes like 3 bites from the middle and leaves the rest…so I just gave up and started cutting them off so she doesn’t throw the sandwich out. She is impossible.
I cut the crust off my daughters (9 and impossible would be a good way to describe her too) sandwiches and toast still for the same reason – she’ll take 2-3 bites and toss the rest. Just easier to take 2 seconds to cut the crust off lol. She does make her own sandwiches some now (I think most times I’d prefer she didn’t because of the mess she makes) and cuts her own crust off – sometimes taking half the sandwich with it.
BTW – I have pinned some of your craft tutorial posts. I bake and cook a lot, but its usually not pretty (taste great, just not picture worthy).