BIG, HUGE NEWS back in October?
I’m starting to get all panicky and freaked out over the mere THOUGHT of getting pregnant again. See, in October, apparently in a delusional moment, I told my DH that suuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrre, we can have another baby, if you wait till BlogHer is over. I didn’t want to travel fat, sick, and full of milk. Its a fair request, right? He wants like 155 kids. I want like 0-1. I am obviously compromising. (it’s clearly my best trait)
No matter how long you have known me, one thing you probably know is my fear of:
1) pregnancy
2) labor
Now its March and I have like 4 months before I promised I wouldn’t care if I got pregnant. Was I drunk when I made that deal? Which one of y’all talked me into this?! It’s like impending doomsday that you know is coming. All these questions run through my head. What if I get fat and cant lose the weight? What if I cant make it through labor? How the hell can I love more then one kid? I am shocked I kept one kid this long alive; I kill plants by looking at them. Will I have to close my business? What if I fall and cant get up? What if I never get to have one free moment/vacation for the Rest. Of. My. Life.
I can’t even get my in laws to visit the child I have now. What’s the point of having another one?
If I get pregnant its going to be a Looooooooooong 10 months for my blog visitors, so this is my pre-apology. I’ll be too busy b*tching about pregnancy to give this to you again, so please remember it.
Why do babies skeer me?
~Trisha
Once you have one more everything will click and you will forget what it was like only having 1. At least it’s that way with me. I couldn’t imagine not having any of mine. And like one of the other girls said some day you may regret not having more and then it’s to late. But you will never regret having more.
@ Trisha-admin:
My comment was coming from a place of hearing someone say that becoming a mother resulted in their “wasting their potential”. I felt like she blamed her failures on her child. So sad.
@ Trisha-admin:
My bro and SIL were so depressed when they got pregnant.
It was the worst thing ever. I could hardly stand to be around them because their attitudes made me so upset. It really pains me to think of a child being unwanted.
They seem to enjoy the baby now but there was such a sense of dread and denial through out the pregnancy. (and they were married! sex makes babies, people!)
@ Rebekah:
LOL that children are easier to raise than cats. Tee hee!
I had a cat that peed on seriously everything we owned and then ran away.
I hope one of my sons never does that.
I don’t want to get all new pillows for a second time.
@ CanCan (Mom Most Traveled):
oh gosh, i would never do that. I had a shitty non involved biological mom, i would never be a shitty mom.
Trisha I know the feeling, I have always said I love my kids but I HATED being pregnant, women looked at me like the devil, but I think I was the only honest one of them! So I know how you feel, but two kids is not all that bad, imagine the ones who have 5 or 6, that is crazy! I love that they have a playmate right here at their disposable besides mom and they love that they have someone else to blame when they do something bad!! And being pregnant is the best excuse to get away with complaining, probably the only benefit, I was a huge grouch for 10 months or so straight and no one said a thing.
Ok, Trish, I gotta say calm down!!! First of all pregnancy is only 9 months and its only uncomfortable for about 6 of them… which is not that long in the grand scheme of things. Loving more than one child shouldn’t be cause for worry. You have 5 cats and are able to love and care for all of them, children are much easier… You are a very determined go getter type personality, you will lose the weight, and if you can’t you’ll find a sponsor to let you try out lipo and then give one away to a reader … lol. I think if you don’t want a baby then that’s something you should definitely talk to DH about, but I think some of your reasons are like you said just fear, not necessarily that you don’t want twice the smiles, twice the hugs, and double all the super cute things that kids do. Oh, and my baby sister is now my best friend… just something to think about for Charlotte… best wishes on whatever you decide…
Yeah I’m no help. I haven’t had one and I’m scared to death for most of the reasons you’ve stated. Not sure what I’m going to do when the pressure really starts mounting. Sigh. I wouldn’t mind raising kids of the stork would just bring them to me as I was originally taught.
If you don’t want a baby, don’t get pregnant for sure. I wouldn’t want to have grown up with my mom resenting me and saying things like, “You know, your father talked me in to having you. I could have been skinny. Now look at me.”
I hate being pregnant and will not do it again. I begged for a hysterectomy but my doctor refused.
I have two and it’s the perfect number to me. The second child learns to take care of them self and just sort of plays on their own. Miles will let anyone and everyone pick him up. Everyone says he has second child syndrome, which seem to be a good thing for me. He’s not very needy. Almost makes me sad and feel like a disfunctional mother.
Once he was born, I loved him just as much. Never thought I would, but I do.
Gosh darn you for writing an interesting post. I’m supposed to be writing reviews…OMG…stupid e-mail. I have to turn my e-mail off.
Lauralee Hensley wrote:
oh yeah, he is a flawless daddy.
Does Hubby help alot with the first one? Just explain to him all the extra ways he’ll have to help if you have another and have him sign a contract, that may slow him down for awhile until you’re ready.
If I can go through the pure hell that was my delivery and recovery of my first child and go on to have 6 more children after that, you can survive another one. Beside, I didn’t lose my body until after the 3rd, but even then, I still looked good, just didn’t fit in a size 7. I’m not happy with after number 7………. but I don’t think you’ll get that far, lol.
Think of it this way. You will not regret having your child, you might regret not having one. Why not go with the sure thing? It is only 10 months, then a sweet baby to love.
well, im no help to you. We have 5 and wanted 6 but pg is hard on my body!!
Just think how much Charlotte is going to LOVE your pg and her new sister or brother.
I cannot help you….the idea of more children scares me as well. Sometimes I feel confident that I want a bigger family, but other times I am afraid of all it takes to get there.
All your reasons were the same as mine. I never wanted kids. Five years into marriage, and I got a wild hair. Labor and delivery were sooooo bad, and I swore I’d never do it again. Plus, I honestly didn’t think I could ever love another kid as much as I loved Christian. She was so precious to us. I didn’t want another kid taking time and attention away from her.
But then, four years later, God surprised us. Christian turned seven yesterday and Cullen is 2, which is about what Charlotte and your next would be. They freaking ADORE each other. I think they’d sometimes rather be with each other than with Hubs or me. They can make each other laugh like nobody else can.
My friends told me I’d be able to love the second one as much as the first, but I HONESTLY thought that was a bunch of crap. Turns out, they were spot on right. Driving home last night, Hubs and I were talking about how precious it is to watch our kids’ relationship with each other grow, and how we never realized how much we missed by waiting so long to have the second. And don’t even get me started on Christmas! This past one was the absolute best ever. Two kids excited over everything? Heaven. On. Earth. You just have no idea what you’re missing with just one, until you see them with their little brother or sister.
Which is not to say it’s all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes they make my life SUCK. But it’s rare.
The good far, far outweighs the bad.
I say if you want to have another baby and are financially and physically able to do so, then go for it. Every woman has fears about being a mother…will I be a good Mom, am I gong to screw this kid up, will I lose my mind, can we afford it. It’s normal.
I was supposed to be infertile so getting pregnant with Rowan was a huge surprise and induced anxiety and fear in me that was almost paralyzing for the first couple of weeks. But then I heard her heartbeat and it was all love. You WILL be able to love another child just as much as you love Charlotte. It will be fine. But YOU have to want it. you are doing pretty good with Charlotte, I see no reason why you wouldn’t be able to do just as well with another child.
http://mylastshredsofsanity.blogspot.com/2009/03/what-kind-of-mom-did-you-think-you.html
@ Suzannadanna:
i want you to think about that. Chris dances w/ beyonce and charlotte is an endless source of “NO!”, dont get me started on the cats. Nothing is missing in this house but a vacation.
Pregnancy = Endless blog fodder
It’s the only reason I keep popping them out:)
Just kidding.
Children are gifts from Jesus.
Plus I am 5 away from a reality show.
Okay, I have an assignment for you.
When you sit at your dinner table tonight, look around. Does it seem like someone’s missing? Seriously, do you feel like the table is full or there’s someone else that could be there, but isn’t.
My table needed four people. I asked my best friend that question and she went from 2 to 3 children.
The second pregnancy was harder, because I didn’t know about a major health complication until AFTER I was pregnant (WTG, hippy flower child midwife!) but he was an EXTREMELY easy baby. In fact, I wouldn’t say that for so long, because he was so stinkin easy.
Was it because I knew what I was doing, because the pregnancy put me through hell or was it that I knew he was my last? Not sure-but I can’t imagine my life without my younger son.