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Lately I have been feeling a slave to my blog, a slave to my email, and a slave for the next project. While I love to develop ideas, I haven’t felt satisfied by being bogged down with ‘uniques’ and ‘page views’ and hyperventilating when the Google Gods giveth and taketh away page ‘ranks’.

And while the few moments my blog carved a niche in technorati made me smile, it inevitably made someone else doubt their own self worth, blog, or site.

Isn’t that how it always is?

To have success means someone else is feeling like a failure. Someone else is judging their self worth off of what they see here. It makes me pause. It makes me sad. The more I meet and get to know women online, the more I want to be side by side of them, not in front.

Tonight I took the stats off my blog. I deactivated the statcounter on wordpress and removed them off the main pages.

I will no longer judge myself wondering if 2000, or 200, or 2 people showed up and pour over what they read and how they got here. I will no longer check the keywords and the SEO and stress myself over what really doesn’t matter.

Because, truly, it doesn’t.

If my words, my articles, my ideas cannot speak for what I can give, then a partnership simply wont be worth it.

From July 23rd, 2008 till now, this many incredible people have visited the blog:

stats1

I have been amazingly blessed by numbers. But now I want to be blessed in relationships, community, and friendships.

I hope you continue to visit, to be a part of, and to grow, although I wont know our growth, inside my world- however strange and bizarre those days may be at points.

I can no longer fail, since I can only judge my successes by living in the moment.

And this moment sure feels the best of all…

~Trisha

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