Hey everyone its single mama, Miss Blondie from Good Golly Miss Blondie. Let’s talk about first dates as a single mother. It is completely different than dating when you have no kids. The first few dates are always like job interviews. You’re looking for not just a good guy you can get along with, but potentially a guy that would be a good fit for your family as well. I pretty much go into the date with my list of questions in my head that need to be addressed before a second or third date can ensue.
“Will this guy be nice to my kid?”
“Does he even like kids?”
“Does he want more kids?”
“Is he a pedophile?”
Okay, so I don’t ask the last question but believe me it is a thought that goes through my mind constantly. These are the types of things that go through a single mothers mind while dating. I look for basically the same things as any other individual in the dating world; honesty, loyalty, etc. You can usually sense where somebody is at in there life by asking certain questions and if they answer wrong, well they’re out of the running. I don’t play games. I don’t have time for games. I have too much at stake. If a guy understands that my number one priority is my son, that’s a pretty good sign.
I am a lot more cautious and picky about guys I go out with because potentially they could meet my son at some point. And of course, he has to be absolutely GREAT to get that privilege. As much as I’d like to sometimes, I can’t just bring a guy home to spend the night with. Sleepovers are a big no-no in my house. I find that many guys can be quite persistent with wanting to come to my house and do-the-deed but I stick to my guns. With my luck, my son would wake up in the middle of the night and come into my bedroom to find some strange half-naked guy he’s never met before in my bed! I’m also extra careful about STD’s and things because if something were to happen to me, it would be my son that would suffer immensely.
In conclusion, the first few dates can be stressful and really is more like an interview process for these men. With the exception of resume’s, which may actually be not a bad idea, these poor men get grilled by me. Eventually, I will find the right fit for the job….hopefully!
See you all next week!
~Miss Blondie
i would be worried too miss blondie! the whole dating thing freaks me out. I cant even have friends near my child…ugg, so hard!
Good post. I agree with you on being safe
as a single mom also struggling thru the dating scenes I feel we have to send out potential dating partners thru the ringer. Our kids lives are to important to expose them to men that won’t be a good fit to our little family. I say have fun dating when you can…not all dates need to be potential fathers and husbands. Some dates are just that… fun dates =) You’ll know when the right fit comes along.
Happy dating single moms!
Aww..you guys are so sweet! Thank you so much for your kind words!
And Gena…he will have no choice but to let me chat with you..it comes with the territory! LOL!
Miss Blondie,
I have been a single mama and I think you are the best mama for your son! I remember those dating scenes. It was treacherous! I remember meeting a guys’ parents (he never met my daughter) and I found out that he told them that I didn’t have any kids. I did find the right man for the job! You will too! When you meet him, you will know! He will be perfect. But tell him that I get to chat with you occasionally!
I can only imagine…I was a bundle of nerves when all I had to worry about was myself!
I truly admire you for what you do. You are an incredible mom and do all the right things for your little guy.
Thank goodness you are so careful, especially about the pedophile part. Don’t ever be embarrassed about worrying about that because that is your most important job.
So many desperate women will allow any man into their lives just to have someone and these men prey on that very thing.
Other than that look for a good sense of humor because without that life just is so boring. I have been with my husband since I was 19 and we have been together 34 years. If we didn’t both have great senses of humor we would have killed each other by now. With 20 years prison time one of us would have been free today.