Hi everyone its Miss Blondie from Good Golly Miss Blondie and I’m going to weekly confront some of the myths, ideas, stories, etc. from a single mom point of view. This week I’m going to start off by introducing you all to myself and give you all my back story so you can better understand where I’m coming from. I’m going to open up to you all quite a bit but I hope that maybe someone can relate or find strength in my story.
I was 19 when I got pregnant by my boyfriend. He was the same age and in the Marines stationed in North Carolina and I lived in Massachusetts. When I was 4 months pregnant he broke up with me and I never heard from him until right after I had my son, Hunter. So I basically spent my entire pregnancy single. However, I felt so sexy preggers and I even went on a few dates. Yup, guys actually took me out on dates while pregnant! After I had Hunter, I was forced to move in with my grandparents about 40 minutes away from where I grew up.
So there I was, living in a new place, no job, not going to school, no car, not having any friends close by (and most of them wouldn’t travel the distance to visit me) and raising a baby alone. I had severe post-partum depression. I would lay in my bed all day just me and the baby, with the shades pulled, and watch TV. I went an entire week w/out changing my clothes or showering and only changing Hunter because he was soiled. That’s when my grandmother stepped in. She took me to the doctor and got me the help I needed. Because of my situation, I went on welfare (public assistance) and in Massachusetts they only allow you to be on it for two years. I took that time and did not work but instead went to school. I have no problem telling people I was on welfare because I used the system for what it is there for. When I had graduated college I went into the welfare office to cancel and I remember how proud they were in there of me. The woman who was terminating it for me, stood up and announced to the whole office that I went to nursing school and got a job at one of Boston’s hospital. Three years later I bought my own condo and I’ve been at that same hospital for six years now.
I have been a single mother pretty much right from the beginning, so maybe that makes me an expert. Hunter’s father was in-and-out of his life for the first four years…more out than in…and decided three years ago, he was going to step out completely. Its been a rough rocky road and I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but I think Hunter and I are both better people because of it. I don’t find it to be much more difficult being a single parent than when there are two parents. I found a great balance of being the good guy and the bad guy. Oh yeah, and I like being in control of every decision… what mama says goes!
I’ll be back next week for another installment of Single in the City.
~Miss Blondie
what an empowering story!
I enjoyed getting to know a little about. I look forward to more. Looks like you have done well for yourself and your son.
I’m in pretty much the same boat except I don’t have my degree yet. I’m off to check out your blog!
My hats off to you! You are an inspiration to single mothers everywhere!
@ Lauralee Hensley:
I am an RN. I had taken prerequisite courses before I had gotten pregnant and the RN course here in Massachusetts for an Associates is 2 years.
And he did pay child support after he was ordered to contact me by his superior while in the military. He’s no longer there but still pays.
Thanks for being brave and sharing your story. Being a single mom makes you a stronger person not for you but for your son as well.
Thanks for sharing! So brave! What I want to know in one of these articles is where you got that pic in your header, cause I love it.
I think the military has changed things a little. I think if you now get pregnant by a military member and they step out of the picture that you can go after part of their military paid college allowances through the GI bill. It can be transferred to a spouse now, but I also think a mother of a military members child (even if not married) can challenge to get part of that if that military member does not pay child support etc..
People should check into this. I think it is a recent change, but I do think you have to have a lawyer to make sure you can get this benefit. I’m sure it involves DNA testing to prove the child is actually the military members, but some college degrees take longer than 2 years to get.
You didn’t say if you were an LPN or an RN. In Colorado it takes about 3 years to get your 2 year RN degree, 1 year of prerequisite courses and 2 years of nursing courses/training.
Can’t wait to read more. Even being a single parent of sorts while my husband did swing shift was a challenge-my hats off to those of you who do it full time.
Congrats on the degree, the condo and all the hard work that went into achieving both while raising your son.
Good on you for being so strong, being a single mum is not easy but it sounds like you have everything under control.
Thanks for all the kind words everyone! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
I had my son when I was 20 and living with my parents. I also had severe PPD. I met my husband when my son was 2 and the rest is history. Those 1st few years were very difficult but we made it through.
Thanks for sharing , I can totally relate to many things you say!
Looking forward to the next article !
Thanks for sharing. I look forward to getting to know you better through your posts.
I’m proud of you! You’re doing really well, and since I’ve visited your blog regularly the past couple months I’ve seen how cute and adorable Hunter is. Some day when he’s grown he’ll take care of you! Thanks for sharing.
It’s great to get to know you better!
I really admire all single mothers who are so strong!
Thanks for sharing your story! Looking forward to the next article!