Being a Mother is a tough job, isn’t it? It’s beyond rewarding, but man, oh man, can it be tough. And then of course there are the people that have to put their two cents in and judge you, am I right?
In the blogging “world”, I’ve been branded.
I’m “that crazy tattooed Mommy”. Hey, I’m cool with that. I like to be hip. I like to be fun and goofy. What I don’t like, however, is the people that push stereotypes according to looks.
I’m tattooed so I MUST let my children run wild. I couldn’t possibly set boundaries. Heck, I’m probably out all night making someone else watch my little girls! I just look so wild, don’t I?
Ha. If you only knew.
I’ve experienced the “being judged” first hand. Yes, I have a bunch of tattoos. Yes, I’ve got crazy hair. You’re entitled to think what you will. But let me tell you something; you have no idea who a person is based on the outside. Remember that saying we all were taught in kindergarten?
“Never judge a book by it’s cover.”
Last summer my mother and I happened to go to McDonalds with Kelsie. My mom was getting all the food while I sat down with Kels. Here I am sitting at the table and a group of three older women were watching Kelsie.
I have been blessed with two good-natured little girls. As Kelsie and I played with her toys and she giggled and smiled, the women kept watching her and WOULD NOT make eye contact with me.
When my mom came back with our food, the women looked at my mother and said, “That is such a happy little girl!“
Without skipping a beat my mom said, “Yup. Her mother takes such excellent care of her.“
The women said nothing back to her. You know what they did? They got up and left.
My mom HAD to be lying of course. How could I, tattooed and funky hair, take care of a child? 
Stereotypes suck.
Sure, I can say it doesn’t bother me, but it stings in some ways. It’s human nature. People get judged by what they wear, how they talk, EVERYTHING. But the next time you get ready to do the, “ohhh my god…look“
Think about this:
My name is Jenna. I am the mother of two beautiful little girls, Kelsie and Aubrey. I attend Iowa State University majoring in Criminology. When I am finished with school, my intentions are to work with child abuse and sexual assault victims. I am committed to all members of my family and will do anything that is necessary to help out a friend in need. I have volunteered in several Presidential Campaigns, as well as Special Olympics,l ocal animal shelters, and many other great charities.
I have a heart of gold.
Bet you didn’t think that the last time you saw someone walking down the street with a “million tattoos” eh?
-Jenna from For The Love of Baby!
@ Miranda:
Why NOT?
It’s a personal decision-just like whether to pierce your ears or dye your hair or wear blue or pink today. I could be wrong, but I gather than you have chosen not to get inked. That’s cool-that’s your personal decision. Would it frustrate you if based on that one choice you made for reasons that are no one’s business but your own, people assumed you were just not a fun person to be with, or that you were too uptight to be a good mother? That would be silly, right? I think so, and I think the opposite is true too.
@ Miranda:
I’m not saying that I have never judged a person. It’s human nature that alot of time people do not recognize they are doing.
There’s nothing about getting a tattoo to “prove a point” That would have to be a pretty big point to prove for the rest of my life with something permanently on my body.
My tattoos all have meaning to me. They all represent a part of my life. My largest tattoo is a memorial tattoo to a very special friend in my life. She lost her life in an accident THREE days after her 18th birthday. She was an inspiration to anyone that met her. She is my “guardian angel” and I have her with me everywhere I go.
I have a tattoo for Kelsie. I intend to add to it for Aubrey or create a new design just for her.
I do not regret my tattoos because they tell a story of who I am and what I hope to become.
I get the fact that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Just because someone looks safe and nice doesn’t mean they are.
My question is why? Why did you get tattoos? I just think there are alot better ways to be creative or use artistic skills. We aren’t all the same, thank God, coming from someone who would would never get a tattoo, just curious as to why. Is it just the fact that you wanted to prove you can get a tattoo and be a nice person? Is that the whole point so that you can prove a point? Wasn’t there some part of you that knew you would get judged for being tattooed?
Everyone is judged for something, and judges others whether we admit it or not.
My daughter is 19 & has maybe 5 tatooes already & a few piercings & she wants to be a youth minister. I’m sure she will be getting all kinds of looks, but her looks (and me knowing what kind of person she is) has made me stop judging others by the way they look. God loves us all.
I’m a heavily tattooed Mom too, and I just wanted to say I can totally relate!
I must live under a rock, or at least I don’t know where the blogosphere rumors live. And I didn’t know that you had tattoos.
No judgments coming from here. My husband has a tattoo. I always wonder if people with tattoos judge me because I don’t have a tattoo.
Do they think they are better than me because they have a tattoo and I don’t?
I actually was an art minor in college so I have been surrounded by scuzzy looking people for years now (including three tattoo artists
). Most of them are pretty nice.
People of all types can be jerks. Not only old ladies at McDonald’s or people who shop at Hot Topic. Being a jerk is universal. It transcends all race and socio-economic status. That is unity, my friend.
And for a girl with a million tattoos, you sure do cover them up well!
As long as they’re good tattoos, there’s no reason to judge! My hubby is covered in tats, yet is one of the best, most involved fathers I know. I was judged the same once for picking my son up from kindergarten once on a motorcycle, it took years before a few of the mothers would even talk to me again. But I find justice in it now, the “head” mother who berated me to everyone else for it, just had the pleasure of watching my son beat hers in an academic competition by a landslide.
@ Kelly:
Ummmmm…I do! http://www.wombattheinnsane.com
I can relate to being stereotyped, I’ve endured it my entire life. I’ve learned that there are narrow minded people in the world, and you can’t change them. Leave them with their problem.
Okay honestly, I HATE judgements and stereotypes! It makes me so angry and with my Lyme rage, you best not say anything around me cause you don’t know what I’ll do.
When I see someone like you with the hair and tattoos, I can tell you that I think kids are more lucky with mothers and fathers like that because from personal expierence, thats how kids grow up to be creative and imaginative, open minded, and have higher self esteem.
Because if they have a parent like that, they are less likely to stereotype and judge other people as they grow up.
As for everyone else, they can think whatever they want. It’s not like we give a flying pig’s butt about it anyway! Lol
Jenna, we are about a block away from each other. Well, 200 blocks
but still in the same state. I will drive a million miles to be with you.. Wait. Sorry. Singing B52′s song here. 
We are not that far from each other. I would soooo love to meet up with you. I ‘only’ have one tat and my hair is only funky because I dont want to brush it, but what you see is what you get. ROFL!
Great write up!
I love your tats and hair.
@ Lori E:
She’s not a huge fan of tattoos but she knows the story behind my tattoos and she’s actually been with me getting tattooed! That was a funny experience!
Lori, believe me…my mom gets lots of hugs
“Jenna how are you talking!?!?! He’s got a needle on your spine OW OW OW!”
Awesome post, and so honest and true. Keep your chin up. It is only human to be bothered by the way others judge us. Having 3 little ones back to back, here down south (and most places prob) people have no problem asking me straight out if I know how to use birth control, asking me why I waited so late in life to have more children being so old and all. I’m 35 with not only the 3 little ones, but a 12 year old too. People also love to make comments on why I waited so long to have more children. They stand there waiting for a response, looking me up and down and sizing me up. I just smile sweetly and say I am very blessed and I move on. Do I owe them any explanations? No. Should I go into personal details about a cheating first husband, multiple miscarriages, or the fact I am happily remarried and (God forbid) WE decided we wanted a larger family? I love it when they make off hand comments like “I do hope you had your tubes tied”. Ignorant people. Just can’t escape them can we?
Rock on, friend. Rock on!
I am sorry you get judged by what you look like. I love your cool hair and can’t wait to see the tattoos when we’re at BlogHer.