Being a Mother is a tough job, isn’t it? It’s beyond rewarding, but man, oh man, can it be tough. And then of course there are the people that have to put their two cents in and judge you, am I right?
In the blogging “world”, I’ve been branded.
I’m “that crazy tattooed Mommy”. Hey, I’m cool with that. I like to be hip. I like to be fun and goofy. What I don’t like, however, is the people that push stereotypes according to looks.
I’m tattooed so I MUST let my children run wild. I couldn’t possibly set boundaries. Heck, I’m probably out all night making someone else watch my little girls! I just look so wild, don’t I?
Ha. If you only knew.
I’ve experienced the “being judged” first hand. Yes, I have a bunch of tattoos. Yes, I’ve got crazy hair. You’re entitled to think what you will. But let me tell you something; you have no idea who a person is based on the outside. Remember that saying we all were taught in kindergarten?
“Never judge a book by it’s cover.”
Last summer my mother and I happened to go to McDonalds with Kelsie. My mom was getting all the food while I sat down with Kels. Here I am sitting at the table and a group of three older women were watching Kelsie.
I have been blessed with two good-natured little girls. As Kelsie and I played with her toys and she giggled and smiled, the women kept watching her and WOULD NOT make eye contact with me.
When my mom came back with our food, the women looked at my mother and said, “That is such a happy little girl!“
Without skipping a beat my mom said, “Yup. Her mother takes such excellent care of her.“
The women said nothing back to her. You know what they did? They got up and left.
My mom HAD to be lying of course. How could I, tattooed and funky hair, take care of a child? 
Stereotypes suck.
Sure, I can say it doesn’t bother me, but it stings in some ways. It’s human nature. People get judged by what they wear, how they talk, EVERYTHING. But the next time you get ready to do the, “ohhh my god…look“
Think about this:
My name is Jenna. I am the mother of two beautiful little girls, Kelsie and Aubrey. I attend Iowa State University majoring in Criminology. When I am finished with school, my intentions are to work with child abuse and sexual assault victims. I am committed to all members of my family and will do anything that is necessary to help out a friend in need. I have volunteered in several Presidential Campaigns, as well as Special Olympics,l ocal animal shelters, and many other great charities.
I have a heart of gold.
Bet you didn’t think that the last time you saw someone walking down the street with a “million tattoos” eh?
-Jenna from For The Love of Baby!
The title of this post says it all! Oh and…mean people suck!
You could have 1 or 2 tattoos or 500 and you’re still the same person to me! Jenna, you rock! I’ve liked you since day 1! Even though it’s hard when people are critical and RUDE just remember that they’re the ones missing out…not you! Everyone can see even just from your blog that you are a kind, caring, funny person and good mom! I so heart you! 
Keep your head up and stay strong!
@ Lori E:It just occurred to me that my father was tattooed up and down his arms. He was a professional wrestler many years ago. Funny I didn’t even think about that at first.
Little story for you: I was standing in a bank vestibule waiting for a friend at the ATM. Several people were lined up behind her because she was taking a long time.
In walks a young guy wearing jeans, chains, hoodie, multiple piercings. The lineup was visibly concerned about this guy. When I looked at his face I saw it was someone I knew who had moved away but had come back to town. I strode over to him and was giving him big hugs (I’m in my 50′s)and was so happy to see him. He was in town to get married. Well the crowd lightened up. You could almost hear the collective sigh.
They couldn’t even see the many tattoos that he has under his clothes. He is a tattoo artist and I do mean artist.
Maybe because my sons, (who are not pierced or tattooed) are of the same age group I am not as judgmental about these things. Or maybe it is like my one son said when he was in grade 3 “what’s the problem, it is just hair”.
By the way…hug your mom.
@ Kadi- I’m amazed you have 7 kids too. I wish you had a blog that I could read and be inspired.
@ Victoria- That’s horrible, its only going to get worse when you have three kids.
I’m always hesitant to reveal my age as well since I was 19 when I first got pregnant.
This is a great post, and I hope it makes some realize that maybe they should take a step back and really meet someone before judging. Like myself on occasion. My husband and I have been judged NUMEROUS times, he’s 25 and I’m 24 and our oldest child is almost 5…..so we should definitely not be old enough to take good care of our two children. Even though when we found out we were preggo (surprise!) we buckled down got an apartment for a year so that we could save up for a house. We’ve now been in our house 4 years, and Rob works his butt off to support us. Anyhow, now that I’ve gone off my rant, you make a good point Jenna!
Trisha-I don’t know, I’m not sure if having no belts in a car is a good excuse not to have your child restrained! I mean, maybe, but dang, that’s scary!
I know it is human nature to instantly “create” an idea of someone you might see. I do it too I’m not writing to say I haven’t done it before, I know I’ve started to go OH wow before. But man on man, people would really be surprised sometimes when they actually know a person.
I’ve had “older” individuals come up to me and check out my tattoos or ask me about them. I’ve also had people SAY things to my face that aren’t nice. It happens. Say something to me, whatever, if it makes you feel better about yourself then I guess I’m glad I could help you for the day.
awesome post!
I for one LOVE you and your crazy hair and tats!
@ Kadi:
wow, kadi, thats wild cause your so beautiful!!! I am in AWE of any woman that has 7 kids. Seriously, your my hero.
And jenna, you are a doll. I love everything about you.
I think everyone judges something and is also judged. I can be judgmental. Just the other day i saw a woman get in a car, with a child she walked barefoot across a gas station, and he crawls in and just gets on his knees in the backseat. She gets in, and drives off. I know for sure i thought something about white trash woman who wont put her kid in a seat belt….but you know, maybe that car was all they had and they had no belts in it, i dont know. It was unfair of me.
Wow, people are amazing. They are the same folk that assume my daughter must be adopted, cuz she looks nothing like me. And then they tell me! I can’t wait for my sassy little lady to tell them to mind their own business!
Good for you, Jenna, for sticking up for yourself and knowing that what others think really doesn’t matter. You are a great mom – you love your kids and are dedicated to your family. Even though the judging is painful, you go to bed at night surrounded by love and with a clear conscience b/c you don’t judge – they, on the other hand, are clearly unhappy people – that is something they can’t escape.
My brother is a Chef in NYC – he barely has any available skin left for tattooing, he is pierced, has a mohawk and often wears a chain from his belt to his wallet – people often cross the street to avoid him. What those people don’t know is that he is highly intelligent and likely just CREATED the $150 meal they just ate….
xoxo
I TOTALLY understand, Jenna! When I had Lauren, I still had braces and was months away from re-constructive jaw surgery. When I went to L&D they asked me if my parents knew where I was. Ummm, no. What should that matter?! Apparently they thought I only looked 16. Right.
I agree with you 100%. Stereotypes suck. And after getting to know you I know that you’d do ANYTHING for your friends/family. xoxo
Uh huh. And all the bikers my aunt and uncle hang out with, and that I grew up around are the ones you should be hanging with. Little do people know that those are the nicest people ever, and would give you their last $1 if you really needed it.
I get looks because with my husband being in the Army I often take the boys places by myself. I wear my wedding band. My boys look nothing alike, but come from the same exact parents. People assume they have 2 different fathers. They also assume my preemie is about 3-4 and way too old for that binky he loves so much, when in fact he just turned 2.5. He’s just huge. Don’t you love Judgy McJudgersons?
Not to say I haven’t judged someone, but I at least wait until I’ve had a conversation or 4 with them. Or I get that gut feeling something’s not right that life experience has taught me to follow.
Great post Jenna! I think we all need to remember to get to know a person on the inside before we judge them.
Well, if that isn’t a crock of &^%$. Mean people stink! Have you read The Velveteen Rabbit? It talks about being “Real”. You sound like a “real” person with a huge heart.
Kadi wrote:
You hit it right on there girly!
Great post, Jenna! It’s ignorance, pure and simple.
Ahhhh yes. I am the white trash mom with seven kids and bleach blonde hair. I am way too skinny to be a good mom. I only care about looking cute and doing drugs. That is the way people treat me.
They have no idea that they are missing out on being friends with a lady who devotes her life to raising her kids at home, helping others raise their kids and being a doting wife. As far as I’m concerned…if they are so set on judging, they are the ones who miss out.
I remember a lady seeing my picture on my blog for the first time and after that, she never left another nice comment again. Sad.
Meet my life. I look about 15 most days which means I get glared at, talked down to, told to use birth control, doors slammed in my face, and people just being rude and judgemental because I have kids and don’t look to be the “proper age”. Stereotypes suck. And I have to admit I am jealous of your tattoos, every time I get one planned out and have the $$$ for it, I get preggo again…I’ve got some making up to do. And som repiercing
UGH that sucks. I’m sorry that you are treated that way. I am not about to say I am perfect because shoot I know I’m not. I will admit that I judge sometimes, but I try not to EVER judge based on appearance. That’s just wrong. Especially what you said about yourself. I will admit, I was stunned reading your post. I never knew you had tattoo’s and as for your hair, I’m jealous. I love the color, the cut, everything. If I could copy it AND pull it off, I would.
Mean people suck.