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Why Some People Have Issues Later in Life.

I generally ignore email forwards, but this one was too good not to share.

And good grief, what were those people thinking with the snake and the baby.

 

~Trisha

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these pictures are not mine, they were sent an a viral email…a hilarious one. Please stumble or Thumbs up to share with others who may have…issues.

Pinked Out: Mommy Lessons

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I’ve only been in the “mommy club” for 6 months now, but I have learned quite a few things in my short time. So I figured, why not share these insightful and sometimes humorous lessons with the world? Here is what I’ve learned thus far, and I’m sure some, if not most of you can relate…

Mommy Lesson #1- I have learned, not to get too attached to cute shirts, because sooner or later, they’ll be covered in drool, baby vomit or the occasional breast milk leak.
Mommy Lesson #2- I have learned to patiently wait to clip my baby’s fingernails until she is sound asleep.
Mommy Lesson #3- I have learned that eventually you will stop sanitizing everything to death  and just deal with a few germs.
Mommy Lesson #4- I have learned that I can’t live without Lanolin Cream for my overly abused nipples.
Mommy Lesson #5- I have learned that I’ll never be caught up with the laundry and I’m okay with it!
Mommy Lesson #6- I have learned that “blowout” poops are perfectly normal, an happen more often than I would like.
Mommy Lesson  #7- I have learned that driving anywhere with a baby is scary!
Mommy Lesson #8- I have learned that it’s not the end of the world if my nails aren’t done and my hair is no longer styled to perfection.
Mommy Lesson #9- I have learned that I truly enjoy sleeping more than ever.
Mommy Lesson #10- I have learned that if you don’t grab something to eat while the baby is napping, you can forget about eating period.
Mommy Lesson #11- I have learned that trying to get out the door with a baby can take a really long time.
Mommy Lesson #12- I have learned that Dreft is great for Mommy and Daddy’s clothes too.
Mommy Lesson #13- I have learned that I absolutely cannot get through my day without caffeine.
Mommy Lesson #14- I have learned to politely ignore women who feel the need to tell me how to parent my child.
Mommy Lesson #15- I have learned that my digital camera is my new best friend…because you never know when a cute moment will present itself!
Mommy Lesson #16- I have also learned that people don’t like getting your weekly hard-drive clogging emails with the 50 latest photos of you child.  Just because you think it’s cute, doesn’t mean everyone else wants to see it.
Mommy Lesson #17- I have learned to really cherish those moments when I can take a hot bath and get lost in a good book.
Mommy Lesson #18- I have learned that I no longer care about returning the grocery cart back to the cart holder.  I just ditch it where I’m parked,…….because most likely the baby is crying or hungry…or both!
Mommy Lesson #19- I have learned to appreciate why other mother’s never liked receiving gifts for their children that made noise.
Mommy Lesson #20- I have learned to deal with the fact that I now have stretch marks.
Mommy Lesson #21- I have learned that sex will never be the same, it’s better!
Mommy Lesson #22- I have also learned that being too tired to have sex is more common than I thought!
Mommy Lesson #23- I learned that little girls can never have enough Pink.
Mommy Lesson #24- I have learned that being a SAHM is most-definitely a Full-time Job!
Mommy Lesson #25- And lastly, I have learned what being completely selfless and loving unconditionally is really all about…
~Kristy
www.mommyinpink.com

Pinked Out: I’m a Mommy, Now What?

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Hello Everyone, I’m Kristy aka Mommy in Pink. I’ll be writing a series of articles every week here called Pinked Out: Adventures in Motherhood! Before we get into all of that though, let me tell you a little bit about myself…

I’m a wannabe aspiring writer that loves all things associated with Fashion, Fitness, French Culture and Fun! I am a wife and mommy to a little princess, “Elle est belle,” which translates in French to “She is Beautiful.”

You can find me most days at www.mommyinpink.com, where I blog about my life(the good, the bad and the funny) as a new mommy! I enjoy things that make me laugh, I’m a little sarcastic and I’m not afraid to speak my mind! So brace yourselves, because you’re in for some fun reading and hopefully a lot of laughs!

Okay…now that we’ve got the introduction out of the way, here is my first installment of Pinked Out…

I’m a Mommy, Now What?

I’m sure most of you can agree that when you are pregnant, there is so much anticipation and anxiety for that moment when you are finally able to hold that precious child in your arms. I’m talking about all of the emotions involved as you await the final outcome of that 9 (actually10) month adventure we call pregnancy!  Then once that long awaited day arrives and you give birth(specifically, if you are a first time mommy), you are left with the feeling of  ”What the heck am I supposed to do now?” After all, you’ve been over this very moment in your head a million times..you go into labor(pain free of course),the baby comes out in perfect working order, and you smile, kiss your husband, laugh, swaddle your precious child and everyone lives happily ever after! You don’t think about the after-pains, the jelly donut around your waist or the 6 weeks or more it takes to feel somewhat normal again. Not to mention the out-of-control hormones, hair falling out, or the stockpile of pads you keep for that wonderful parting gift called “Lochia.”

My first few weeks as a new mommy were somewhat of a blur. With the lack of sleep and not knowing what to do, it makes for one stressful ride. I didn’t even know how to hold a baby properly those first few days and don’t even get me started on the 50 some odd phone calls I made to my midwife over the course of that first week. Questions like …
  • “Is she supposed to sleep so much?”
  • “What do I do, if she stops breathing?”
  • “How many poops is she supposed to have in a day?”
  • “What do I do if she gets sick?”
  • “When can I give her a bath?”
  • “My nipples are cracked and bleeding, what do I do?”
  • “Hi, it’s me again…I can’t wake her up, all she wants to do is sleep..I’m concerned, any suggestions?”
  • “Is it possible to have uterine prolapse, because I feel weird down there?”

My midwife must have thought I was nuts that first week postpartum…because looking back, I really sounded that way! Completely clueless and a little on the Obsessive Compulsive side..don’t you think?

Although I was happy to hold my child and relish in the moment, it took me a while to get used to the fact, that I was now a “Mommy.” Directly following the birth, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by family members catering to me, offering help and cooking meals. On the third day, when my mother finally went home, I remember bursting out in tears, because it hit me…I didn’t have the slightest clue on what to do or how to care for a newborn. The thought of being home by myself without help to care for this new life..well… to say that I was nervous, would be an understatement. I was absolutely terrified!

I don’t care what anyone says, absolutely nothing can prepare you for the task of motherhood. You can read a million books and listen to other mother’s advice all day long, but you never really know until you experience it for yourself. After all, I thought that motherhood was something of fairy-tales…remember? Who would of thought that I’d now sleep with one eye open, not give a rip if I was covered in baby vomit and would struggle daily at getting back into shape. Everyone always told me that if you breastfeed, the weight should just… and I quote… “melt right off”…NOT! I can’t even begin to tell you how wrong that assumption was for me. Although I’ve lost a lot of weight, I by no means have lost it all. I’m still waiting on that so called “melting” stage to kick in. HA…what a joke!

So if you’re a new mommy and are left with the feeling of “Now What?” Let me tell you sister, you are not alone! Don’t let anyone fool you, no one has a clue at first. I say just take everyone’s advice with a grain of salt, because in all reality, you have to do what works for you and your baby. Whether that’s bottle or breast, crib or co-sleep , sling or stroller….everyone has their own unique challenges! In the end, we all strive to be good parents and that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

Ask The Mom


Happy Halloween everyone. Bringing back some original questions as asked on my blog back in June. And, I have a few on boogers, perfect timing!

Is it normal to feel like running away when you’re a SAHM? Maybe one day a month I feel this way. Totally normal. It’s hard to be NEEDED 24/7, 365 days a year. It takes a lot from you, from your core. Don’t get me wrong, I would never change my lifestyle. I’ve always gotten plenty of emotional deposits from choosing to stay home with my kids. But, on occasion, the desire to do something else for a day, a few hours is there.

What do you do for fun? Well blogging is fun. Hubs and I go to the movies. I spend time with my girlfriends (movies, dinner, Bunco, playdates, coffee). I play Bingo sometimes and it’s fun when you win.

How do I get my 2 year old boy to stop hitting at random? Time outs are not working...I have a friend that has a ‘biter’ and she’s tried biting her child back to show them it hurts. I’m not sure I’d do this or try it by ‘hiting’ back…but I’d definately use my words to convey that hitting is not okay and it HURTS. How about having them hit something like a pillow if they feel that urge.

How do you get rid of an annoying habit that you have? Well…I have an annoying habit of biting my nails, and the skin around them. If I was adamant about ridding myself of this, I’d dip my fingertips in an unpleasant solution so that if they made contact with my mouth, disaster would ensue. If I had say a TIC where i’d cuss everytime I got in an uncomfortable situation, I’d probably contact a real therapist and search for the answers.

Why are boogers salty? It must be a chemical reaction in your body when you excrete fluids..like your sweat is salty, tears are salty…You nostrils excrete salty mucous.

Can each day have 48 hours instead of 24? I just don’t have enough time to accomplish what I need to! Help!I suggest you stop sleeping all together…you can sleep when you’re dead. Totally kidding, I just read that somewhere. Anyway, make a list of “MUST-DO’s” for your day…no more than 5. Order them by priority, check off as you accomplish. Reassess at the end of the week. If you are still not getting your things done, re-examine your schedule.

Getting motivated to get in shape is never my problem. It’s STAYING motivated that’s hard. Any suggestions? I hear ya on this one. I know you can only be accountable for yourself if you truly want to make a change, but enlist a friend and do it together, it would be twice as fun and possibly keep you on track.

Our daughters are about the same age. Mine will be 10 in August, and holy moly…wow! One minute she is an absolute sweetheart, and the next a bundle of hormones. Can you commiserate? YES! I thought I was moody…MAN! She can play the role of Two-Face in the next Batman movie. It’s a stage, it too shall pass but be replaced with another even more challenging one. Can’t wait…:S

Why, around 40, did my boobs start migrating to the land beneath my arms??? AND, do you know of any retail item that will retrieve the boobs and put them in their rightful place? Fly south did they? Yeah, I feel your pain. Hubby helped me out on this one. Two words, duct tape.

Ok, I am so ashamed of this…I have a 14 month old, and a 26 month old…neither of which I can get off the bottle. I feel like such a failure, but as long as the baby was using a bottle, the toddler wanted one, and he would steal them and throw fits, and I am weak, so I gave in. Now, I want them both off the bottle, but it just seems impossible. How can I accomplish this on my own since my hubby works all the time and still keep my sanity? If Suri Cruise can do it, so can your kids. No really, it depends on the fish you want to fry. If your kids are happy and healthy and don’t have bad teeth….it’s not the end of the world. K still has hers. My older two made it to Kindergarten not taking the bottle. Offer the cup, offer, offer, offer, but don’t stress.

How do I get my daughter to stop eating her boogers? It’s seriously makes me wanna puke. Sounds like she’s deficient in the salt-goo-mineral category. Offer her a sour gummy worm when you see those little fingers heading from nose to mouth. If it were my little 2 year old I would tell her, “boogies are yucky, wipe them on a tissue, or your brother.” that probably won’t help at all, though. I told you, I’m not licensed for this job.

Need to know MORE about boogers, or any other bodily…..um burning questions, write to me at themomjen[at]gmail[dot]com and also check out my blog, Cheaper Than Therapy–Musings of a Mom of 3.

Ask The Mom

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It’s Friday again, time to answers your questions and offer advice–my unprofessional-run of the mill–2 cents worth. Enjoy!

What would you say to a 14 yo who is ‘in love’ with someone they have never met but talks to on the phone ALL THE TIME? She met the guy on the internet at dad’s house, talks to him at dad’s house, etc. (get the idea? More freedom at dad’s house)

Hmm…first I would say BE CAREFUL! I have heard too many scary/sick stories about MEN posing as young boys to meet young girls online. It’s such a slippery slope. Talk to her father, find out what sites she’s on and if possible more info on the ‘boy.’ Is he local? Are they planning on meeting up? Talk to your daughter, keep the lines of communication open and fill her in on some basic safety rules before she takes the next step to meeting him, in which I would definitely be there (or close by).

On a different path, if you’re concerned she’s focused too much on the computer or boys in general, get her involved in an extra-curricular activity. Zone in on some of her interests (sports? art? music?)and offer some alternatives to focus on. She is still very young to be dating or focused solely on boys, hopefully expressing this to her father as well open his eyes a bit too.

What are you going to be for Halloween? I recently heard that Preparation H is good for dark circles and eye puffiness, so with that on my face, I’ll be a hemmorhoid.

My teen daughter is too focused on her weight and she is very thin. How can I get her to eat well and not obsess over this? Damn the media and it’s focus on thinness! Ask your daughter what makes her feel this way. It could be peer pressure or someone making a comment. In that case, talk to her about nutrition and being healthy. Also, go to the library and find some books on eating disorders. Let her know that not eating properly or obsessing over weight can lead to serious health problems. I’m not saying, scare her, but inform her. Eating in moderation, with exercise will keep you fit and healthy.

What happened to my toddler? She used to sleep through the night and now she wakes constantly begging for her bottle! Milestones I think! Are you potty training? Did you take down the crib? Has she stopped napping? All thse things happened all at once for my toddler and her sleeping pattern has been affected. Kids tend to rebel to change (duh! adults too!) and something has to give. Sleeping in this case. Try to stick to a routine, maybe instead of a bottle of milk, try watering it down progressively and hopefully she’ll stop asking for it at night. Night terrors also happen in the toddler years. If she is waking crying or scared, get a night light. Let your child know you are there for them, but remind them it is time to sleep and not for waking/drinking a bottle/playing/or crying.

How long have you been married? 12 years and forever to go.

What’s challenges you as a blogger? There are a few challenges. Time, of course. Also, commenting…goes with time. But, I think one big challenge is the anticipation I get when I put down my words. I immediately think, are people judging me? Probably. They may not always say so but i’m sure they do. Then I think, am I going to offend someone? Maybe I will. I have always said that I blog for me, my therapy, and for my own personal online scrapbook, but because it’s a public forum, i’ll always be a bit concerned as a writer.

What’s you favorite thing about blogging? I’m a people person. They fascinate me. I love reading about others and living vicariously through their written journeys. I find so many women online that I can say, “she would totally be my friend IRL (in real life)” and that’s so cool.

What is a blogging compulsion you have? I am not normally a perfectionist, but I change my header and layout constantly because I want it to look just right. I’m glad I can make my own buttons and headers so that I don’t offend layout makers. I don’t think i’ll ever think it’s perfect….but I really should be okay with that.

Do you miss not working? Have you been peeking into my brain? LOL. Every year at the beginning of school I get emotional. I was only a teacher for a few years before my oldest was born, but that was the thing that I had worked toward, it was my job, my big-girl accomplishment. I loved teaching. I’ve never stopped, I just don’t get paid for it anymore. With the economy like it is, I miss having a regular paycheck. But, there would be no benefit in working outside the home for me. I’d have to give all my check to daycare and I wouldn’t have had the time with my kids. I may work part-time or substitute when my baby goes to school, but I’m not sure.

What’s the best way to suggest to someone they need mental health help? Are you trying to tell me something? Seriously, that is really hard. A major step in realizing you need help is to believe you can be helped. So many people have a self-defeating attitude and tell themselves, “i’m uncurable” or “no one can fix me, this is the way I am.” It isn’t true, counseling, therapy, and medications work, the right prescription can be made. Now, how do you get a person to realize this? Anonymously sign up online for literature on treatments for anxiety or depression, have it mailed to your friend/co-worker/relative. If you personally have experience, voice it, let that person know subtly how far you’ve come with treatment. I hope they can take the hints.

Need advice? Curious about me, blogging, or how I manage 3 kids (earplugs)? Email me at themomjen[at]gmail[dot]com and check here every Friday for the answers!

Also read more about me and my own issues at Cheaper Than Therapy-Musings of a Mom of 3.

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Ask The Mom


Hi everyone, it’s that time again. Time for me to put my camping-procrastination to the side and answer a few questions from you, the important ones. The car will pack itself I know it. Shoot, is Survivor on?? Nevermind, I have DVR. It’s really all about you today, MOMDOT readers! All you.

I have a one-year old golden retriever puppy that loves children. When they kids come up to pet him, what is the best way Moms want this interaction to occur? My older kids are terrified of any dog while my baby has no fear. As the mom of the child, I would ask the owner “is the dog friendly? where would he enjoy being petted? does he jump/lick/nip?” before I would allow my child to approach them. As the dog owner, I would keep my dog close and ask parents, “would your child like to pet my dog? he does/does not like to lick/jump/nip.”

My husband has been stressed out and tired from work so when he comes home he wants to relax, but me on the other hand, am always home all day I want to go out, but it RARELY happens, unless we go to the inlaw’s. He doesnt seem to understand that im home with the kids 24/7, cleaning the house, cooking and it can be stressful too. Some days he will meet up with his friends, or his brother or cousins to go out for dinner, wings, coffee and I’m at home. I ask him to take me out, but he’ll say he doesnt feel like going out, too tired but when his friend or cousin call him up, he goes out. What can I do to get him to understand it isnt fair that he can go out whenever, and leave me at home??? I have no car, so I dont go anywhere throughout the day. I swear if it wasnt for my kids, I think I would have gone crazy by now! That is truly unfair on his part. You deserve to be respected for the time you give at home (with no car all day AHHH!) and he needs to see that. Explain to him that you want to spend quality time with him, it’s important to you to get that needed break from the house. Can you talk him into one night a week being ‘your night together?’ Compromise that if you can get that first, then he can have a ‘guys night out.’ If he doesn’t go for it, I say, take the kids to your inlaws and have a friend pick you up for a night out. Something’s got to give before you do go stir-crazy!

Do you believe women can have long term friendships, because every one I have ever had after so long, just falls apart. Yes, but it has to be with the right person. I have ONE long-term friendship that has definitely seen the depths of cat-fights, jealousy, and choice words. We’ve been friends for 25 years this year and it’s amazing how much like sisters we are! If two women can realize that their bond goes above and beyond the petty little things, then it can work. Just like a marriage, it takes two people to commit to give and take, respect, and trust.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Seriously? I’ve got sleeping bags to roll.

Please explain to my why or how to curb my 7 year old son’s very annoying crying behavior. This has been going on for over a year and what we thought was a phase keeps getting worse. I’ll admit he can be a rather sensitive boy but he litterally cries several times a day over just about everything…if he can’t find his shoes, if his sister touched his toy, if I tell him lights out for bedtime, if he doesn’t get 3 feet of water for his bath, it never ends! First, let your son know that he can communicate with you with words. Words can express what he needs much clearer than crying. Give him incentives when he works through a problem in a positive way, maybe a sticker chart for “solving a big boy problem on his own.” Start easy, maybe 3 stickers gets him a special dessert. Explain to him it’s alright to cry, but when he’s physically hurt or a serious mom/dad intervention is needed. Tell him about the “little boy who cried wolf,” and emphasize that it’s important that YOU know the difference between his cries to keep him happy and healthy.

What vegetables, other than broccoli, would you use to top a baked potato? Cheese…Velveeta preferably! Oh wait, you said the bad word in our house….vegetable! Let me see if I can remember what one is….cupcakes…no. Umm…bagel bites…no. Capri Suns…nope. How about chopped asparagus, ooh buttery asparagus would be good. For a spicy kick, finely chopped red and green bell peppers. Mushrooms would be good too!!

What is your middle name? I have named my middle “chubby mcmuffin top” and I don’t think she likes it much.

Is it true that you can catch a cold by having a wet head? No the saying is “catch a fever, throw a cold” or is it “feed the hungry, starve the rich” or “you can pick your friend’s nose, but….” I never get that right.

Please keep those questions coming, and after my weekend in the dirt, I will again focus on something else beside the kink in my back. You.

The Mom can be reached at themomjen[at]gmail[dot]com or being semi-funny at her own blog Cheaper Than Therapy. Like how I got all third-person on ya? ;)

Ask The Mom

Have a seat on the couch, make yourself comfy and read about the issues some of our friends are having....

Why is it when a baby girl or toddler girl have rolls of fat on her thighs, it is considered sooooo darn cute. Just a few short years later (5ish or 6ish) and then much later (any year after 5ish or 6ish) it is considered gross and disgusting! Young “chubbies” adorable, old “chubbies” disgusting. YEAH, no fair, my chubby is cute. No, I think chubby babies and toddlers are considered cute because some people equate it with healthy. “Oh she’s eating well.” “Your breastmilk must have super-calories!” All the lovely comments we get as moms. That does slowly fade into, “geez, does your kid any exercise, ever?” in grade school when doctor love to throw that dang growth chart in our face and tell us our kids are obese at 9. Doctors can be blamed with those charts, and as the kids get older, the media promotes all the skinny minis and how fabulous they look! (Compare the cast of BH 90210 now and then….characters dropped like a collective person in weight!)

My blogging is bothering my husband, who thinks Fantasy Sports are okay! I don’t think he’s acting fair, do you!? No I do not. Is the problem that you two aren’t spending quality time together? Include him in a blog post, interview him perhaps. Ask him to teach you about his team. If that isn’t cutting it, set timers and allot yourselves X amount of time each day to pursue your fun hobbies. Make certain days of the week NO SCREEN TIME (lol–I tell that to my kids!) and watch a movie together or go to dinner.

Do you know Dr. Phil? Who? Just kidding. No. Remember I just play a therapist on MOMDOT.

Is it normal that my 2 year old goes through phases when it comes to food? Some days she eats like a horse, and other days it could be a few crackers. I think this is very normal. My toddler is like this and so were my older kids. 2 year olds have differing agendas to their day. They’re not like us focusing on when our meals will be. They tend to think, play, eat, play, play, play, sleep. Best you can do is keep a routine for your toddler. Provide plenty of food options the same times each day, but don’t be upset if she doesn’t eat. If her weight gain is a problem, or if your child is getting sick all the time, I’d consult your pediatrician.

[from a GUY!!] My girlfriend cheated on me and wants me to forgive her and move on. Is this possible? Ouch. Sorry man. I believe it is possible to forgive. Communicate with your girlfriend and find out why she strayed. Get a better impression of what broke down in your relationship. If it’s something that can be fixed and worked on, you can try and move past this. But, if it’s unresolvable, maybe it’s time to part ways, it may happen again.

My question is do you have any idea how to get it to quit raining in Seattle?????? Because I’m about to go insane. ug. Move south. Studies show that people need Vitamin D from the sun to avoid bouts of depression! I personally could not live in a place that sees the sun so infrequently.

Why are you so interested in other people’s problems? Well. I enjoy people. I genuinely care about them. I don’t enjoy that they have issues that are often beyond my scope of psuedo-science-therapy, but if I can offer some support and maybe an alternative opinion they haven’t heard of, I will. Plus, as i’ve said before, gives me a break from my own issues, my head is a busy place!

What’s your drink of choice now that you’ve given up white wines? Right, I used to have a section of my sidebar on my blog that displayed my love for fun-labeled wine bottles. My stomach decided to reject anything of the alcoholic-grape persuasion, so i’m not drinking wine anymore. I love a cold beer, Coors Light or Corona Light with lemon and always in a bottle!

Got a question for Ask The Mom? Email it to themomjen [at] gmail [dot] com. Find me making little to no sense at my own blog Cheaper Than Therapy.

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