Last night I managed to talk my DH into rubbing my back before bed. Then he said the magic words…”is there anything else you want rubbed.?” Why yes there is………. my feet…you asked!
I’m laying on the bed (no, this story isn’t going to get naughty) and he is rubbing my feet and then he grabs my toes. Silence. Oh, great, here it comes.
“What is THIS?” (inspecting my toe nails).
“Its going to CUT me! OMG, this one is CURLING OVER your toe.”
“My wife is so beautiful and takes care of herself, EXCEPT for her toes”
“Trisha, this isn’t like blond leg hairs, you can SEE these”
If my toe nails are even a tad bit too long, he gets so melodramatic. I tried to tell him that I leave them long so I can slice off his leg when he is being a jerk, but no dice. For the next 10 minutes while he rubbed my feet, all I heard was the drama:
“You really should cut these.”
“I just sliced my hand open!!!!”
“These are longer then a Yeti’s”
“Is this some sort of nail growing competition?”
“Im bleeding!” (this includes dramatic sounds of someone being murdered and half falling off the bed)
“You could put a french manicure on these they are so long.”
Ok, Ok, so I forget about my toes. I wear socks all day! Its not like they are knarly. My socks dont have holes in the toes where they broke through or anything. I’m thinking of cutting them and putting them in an envelope for his stocking for Christmas now.