The Age of Masturbation. Say it isnt so.

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Last month when I was at the Dr office I was reading one of those randomly overused magazines and came across an article about “masturbation and kids”.

The minute…or rather the SECOND I got in the door home from that visit,  I IMed my friend Kim and asked her….is this for real??

I realize that {grown and teenage} people masturbate. It doesn’t bother me. What you do behind closed doors is completely your business and a normal part of sexual health and life. I would encourage it if you enjoy it.  But the article took a more shocking turn when it opened like this:

“While catching up over coffee in her kitchen recently, my friend and I were interrupted by a peculiar nose neither of us initially recognized. Our eyes eventually locked onto her 4-year old son who was rubbing himself and moaning with pleasure”




I wish it said something less exotic…like…..”grabbing” himself. In fact, all kids, boy or girl, “grab” themselves at some point. But the whole “moaning and rubbing with pleasure” was way, way, WAY too much for me to comprehend.

And this is coming from a blogger that has endorsed KY.

The article goes on to say that masturbation for kids becomes “goal driven to orgasm” by 10 and at around 11 or 12 they are looking for pornographic material.

Holy. Crap.

(As a side note, now I know what age my daughter isn’t allowed to have male friends…10 and up)

I realize the world has changed, but I can assure you at the age of 10 I was sewing barbie clothes and reading The Babysitters Club books. In fact, the only thing I knew about boys was that Mary Anne had a boyfriend named Logan.  Now I understand I may have been sheltered on some level and sexual activity wasn’t on my mind, but what I cant figure out is is this the new norm?



Mothers of boys, you must, right now, explain this to me before I have an aneurysm.

And Tell me lies…tell me sweet little lies.





Copy of the Article from WEBMD magazine. I had to scan it in cause I couldn’t find it online to share:




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  1. says

    As a child I would watch movies with my dad (mom was in jail) that would occasionally have a sexual scene. He fell asleep easily as he worked long hours. If he was awake he would fast forward it right away but, being as small as I was I didn’t know how to use the remote and was to scared of my dad to touch it and mess up the movie some how. So it did come to a sexual scene and I would just watch. It made me want a boyfriend and curious about sex. Also very depressed at times. I feel like I had a depression disorder as I was always depressed. Anything could make me depressed. A sad song, a weird scenery (I don’t know why) or school work as my dad was very strict and if I didn’t know the answers to my homework, would yell at me, get in my face , if I cried he would grab my face or whip me.

    As you can see, I was TERIFFIED of my dad.

    I had a step brother. He was older and sometimes wanted to touch me (poke me around a sexual area) I knew I couldn’t tell my dad and my mom I was just getting to know again.i started masturbating around 11.I couldn’t really stop. I looked for pornagraphic material at about 9 because I thought it was funny but at 11 I did it sheerly for pleasure.things you don’t know that are happening to your kids can change them in ways that can never be I don’t. So please, remember that if you are a parent to never make your child ashamed of this and try to stay in the privateer parts of their life to prevent scarring.

  2. P.S. says

    My 9 year old will lay on the floor and wiggle to cause a ‘rubbing’ effect but he doesn’t full on masturbate (that I know of at least). He also isn’t grabbing for porn. Wow 10-12…really!?!?

    We’ve always given the boys honest answers to their questions and they were even there for the birth of their younger brother (in a birthing tub so they didn’t actually see my vagina). But they did see birthing videos in preparation and they were both told all about how girl pee pee’s are called vagina (or ‘gina as my 5 year old calls it) and that’s where babies come out of mom’s.

    4 seems really young. I guess without accurate information they have to explore and learn all on their own. I chalk it up to too many absent parents and too many parents who can’t be mature enough to discuss these things with their kids.

    Studies show that kids who receive a sexual education are less likely to contract an STI or face an unplanned conception. Studies also show that kids who are taught to self-pleasure are more likely to put off sexual intercourse because they can get that pleasure on their own. I’m all for my kids learning to relieve tension as long as they are an appropriate age (4 is not an appropriate age!!) and they keep it private.

  3. Lily Anderson says

    Okay good. I am a 13 year old girl and I started masturbating when I was four. Ever since I was about nine I had begun to think that there was something extremely wrong with me, and that I had somehow been sexually harassed when I was little and that’s why I had done it. This article is a big relief to me. (:

    • Akira says

      I know how you feel. I started masturbating at that age as well. My mom could never figure out what I was doing. Probably because she thinks only boys masturbate, or something dumb like that. I didn’t know what sex was, just that touching my nether regions felt damn good. I think its just human nature to be curious about your body. I matured very quickly, beginning puberty at age 11.

  4. says

    Wow…all I can say, wow. Um, that gives me another year to prepare for this with my son, lol. I must have been pretty sheltered as a kid, as I don’t recall any of this sort of stuff happening that soon, and I grew up with 4 brothers.

  5. says

    My momma told me when I was real little, “You Will Go Blind, If You Keep Playing With Yourself Like That”…

    It took me all the way to 16 before it happened, yep, Blind As A Bat. Still am at 52.

    Happy Trails…

    • James says

      Well, in theory it can lead to blindness, it has not been proven nor disproven, but that really sucks. BTW, I am a 13 year old boy and I started masturbating at 10(mainly cause of peer presure).

      • Akira says

        Blindness? You seriously believe that? Unless you get cum in your eyes or something, that’s not even possible. And cum in your eyes would only cause temporary blindness at most.

  6. says

    They don’t know what they’re doing… They don’t know that they’re having an orgasm. just feels good. I wouldn’t worry too much about your little girls’ boy friends {although your comment was so funny} at 9 and 10. I bet if they knew it had to do with kissing girls and S-E-X they’d freak out!

  7. says

    I know my boys used to “play” with themselves when they were little but NEVER to the point of moaning in pleasure. At least not while I was around… I’m sure as they got older…. but that’s another thing entirely. They understood that it got bigger when they played with it and, because we always had open conversations, they asked me about it and I explained – in language they could understand – what was happening. I also explained that it might feel good, but it was something that they should do in private. They seemed to understand and we never had a problem with it.
    I think the article was sensationalized to sell magazines…. NOT like THAT would ever happen. :)