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Tinker Tea… Toddler Drink of Champions

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This week when I had some downtime, I flipped on Toddlers & Tiaras. Let me be clear that pageants in no way bother me, but the families they put on this show are pretty much as bad as Big Brother 15 this year… a hot mess.

And while pixie stick overloads and tantrums are the norm, seeing a mother feed her daughter what she called “Tinker Tea” on a daily basis all while justifying that she “doesn’t feed her juice so its the same thing” just blew my mind.

So in the interest of science and household journalism I decided to try out Tinker Tea to see what kind of monstrosity she was defending.

Tinker Tea

Tinker Tea Recipe


  • Mountain Dew
  • Sweet Tea
  • Pixie Stix

Now she doesn’t give us the actual measurements but did refer to it being a “dark green” color. I tried it with more sweet tea and it turned brown, so my best guess is she is using a green pixie stick to make it darker and in our case, we bought pink/purple/orange ones.

Here is what we did

1) 3/4ths of the glass filled with Mountain Dew, the  most potent soda known to man

2) 1 tablespoon of Milos Sweet Tea (sidenote: I cannot believe I wasted my tea on this crap)

3) One Giant Pixie Stick in any flavor you feel like hopping your kid up on

4) Stir

5) Pour into your child’s glass and serve to them…this works best if they are under the age of 3.


Charlotte and I did test a bit out with a spoon (she didn’t actually drink it because I do not allow her soda at all) and it was….sharp. That is the best way to describe it.

I am flabbergasted that this mom feeds this concoction to her 2 year old.

The best part of this all? This mom is now working to MARKET “Tinker Tea” as an “Energy Drink” for kids.

You know, just in case their daily tantrums and bouncing off the walls attitude isn’t enough for you.


Would you buy “Tinker Tea” for your child if offered?


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  1. I love how everyone’s so super offended by this, but yet kids all over the country drink caffeinated sodas and gobble down candies. You guys act as if she’s letting her kid smoke crack. It’s funny because your watching a show about shallow parents grooming their kids to be shallow adults by dressing them like whores for pedophiles to get off to, and your all pooping your pants over a sugary drink with caffeine. It’s so asinine.

  2. No way anybody should give this to their kid. When I saw this episode when it aired I about died. Doesn’t shock me she’s tryin I make money off I it either. Crazy lady…

  3. I was so mad when I saw the “Tinker Tea” my kids do not get any soda or any type of fake energy drink, if we need energy we eat an apple!!! Apples are better for you, and give you more sustained energy than coffee or “Tinker Tea” and it is good energy not sugar high energy!! so Hell to the NO would we every purchase anything like “Tinker Tea” for our kids!!

  4. Seriously…
     I mean seriously….
     ANYONE with a lick of sanity wouldn’t give this poison to their child let alone a human. It’s like drinking the mat shot at the end of a bar night on a bet! YUCK
    Take into consideration the IQ of this mother. Did I say IQ .. What IQ.?
    Just think in years to come with consuming all that “stinker tea”, she should undoubtedly have a full set of black rotten teath to match that rotten formula!

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