I woke up this morning with the thought “Yesterday at this time, Bryson was alive”. “Yesterday at this time, he was eating breakfast.” It feels like a really surreal dream to live in those thoughts.
There was this time over the summer that I woke up out of a dead sleep around 8:30am and rushed to my window out of nothing but pure instinct. In that moment, I saw Charlotte at the top of the above ground pool we had just installed, leaning into it still in her pajamas.
We had told her she couldn’t get into it with no one around. Of course when she woke up, she went to see if it was full yet and told us that she wasn’t getting INTO it, just looking. Her logic wasn’t something we had considered.
In that instant, my life could have been hers. I will forever wonder what happened that gave me the second chance to be with my child where others never got that moment.
The messages people are leaving with their child’s losses are so full of grief its breaking my heart -all of them. If some of you could share how you are still living and breathing and moving, I am sure that will help those of us trying to support Shellie right now.
Additionally I have been getting a lot questions on “what happened”. The truth is they are not my details to share. We are only passing on information on how to support and love a friend at this time. When (and if ) she wants us to share, it will be done at that time.
Last night Lee called me around 1:30am to pass on a message from Shellie. She said she has gotten over 500 emails from people and she thanks you and she wont be responding to them right now for obvious reasons. But thank you for caring and spreading your condolences.
Please remember that emails are fine (and I am sure appreciated in the long run) but please do not to look her up and call her right now-especially if you do not know her. I know people mean well but this is her families tragedy. You can leave her as many messages as you want here and we will make sure she gets them.
Regarding donations and flowers, more information on that will be coming later in the day. I will not be collecting any funds personally until I can clear from her directly or her family exactly where those should be donated too. I promise I will update that when I can. In the mean time, you are more than welcome to send a card and I will have those going out Monday from my home to hers. My address is in the other blog post.
And of course, prayers are always free.
Our blog will be silent today unless we update any information for Shellie. I feel there is nothing I can write, nothing I can say that wont sound shallow or wasteful or petty.
So we will just be taking a moment of silence today to cherish our children and our lives and its by the Grace of God that we have those moments.
~Trisha
Other posts from our Sisterhood for you Shellie. We love you:
- Lori’s Post: http://acowboyswife.com/2009/12/14/with-a-heavy-heart/ (
- Kim’s Post: http://accidentalmommies.com/a-parents-worst-nightmare/
- Lisa’s Post: http://www.crazyadventuresinparenting.com/2009/12/fellow-military-wife-shellie-needs.html
- Shan’s Post: http://www.lastshredsofsanity.com/2009/12/please-pray-for-shellie-blog4mom.html
- Annie’s Post: http://www.mamadweeb.com/2009/12/wordless-wednesday-hug-your-kids-tight.html
- Kimberly’s Post: http://shescribes.blogspot.com/2009/12/i-want-to-express-my-deepest-sympathies.html
- Brandy’s Post: http://creatively-yours.blogspot.com/2009/12/parents-worst-nightmare.html
- Candy’s Post: http://serendipitymommy.com/uncategorized/prayers-for-shellie/
- Lisa’s Post: http://gardenofmany.com/2009/12/15/my-heart-is-broken-into-pieces/
- Cats Post: http://3kidsandus.com/2009/strength-in-numbers-support-in-bloggers-hugs4shellie/
- Amanda’s Post: http://www.confessionsfromhh6.com/2009/12/for-shellie.html
- Barbara’s Post: http://barbarasbeat.blogspot.com/2009/12/prayers-for-mommy-blogger-and-her.html
- Elizabeth’s Post: http://www.suzyqhomemaker.com/hug-them-tightly/
- Brandi’s Post: http://www.fivemonkies.com/2009/12/please-pray-for-shellie.html
- Marianna’s Post: http://www.greenmamaspad.com/2009/12/prayers-for-shellie.html
- Jen’s Post: http://www.mommyshangout.com/mom-talk/my-heart-is-breaking-for-shellie/
- Katie’s Post: http://katieandscotts.blogspot.com/2009/12/world-is-small.html
- Jenna’s Post: http://loveofbabyonline.com/2009/12/please-send-your-prayers-to-fellow-blogger/
- Lisa’s Post: http://www.isitmondayalready.com/2009/12/prayers-for-very-loved-greiving-mommy.html
- Allison’s Post: http://misadventuresinbabyraising.blogspot.com/2009/12/prayers-for-fellow-blogger.html
- Staci’s Post: http://mommasgoneoverthewall.blogspot.com/2009/12/take-minute.html
- Shynea’s Post: http://pennypinchingdiva.com/2009/12/nothing-can-replace-the-lost-of-a-child/
- Gena’s Post: http://themorrisbunchblog.com/2009/12/15/praying-for-shellie-and-her-family/
- Kate’s Post: http://theshoppingmama.com/2009/12/for-shellie/
- Nicole’s Post: http://www.prettypinkchandelier.com/2009/12/14/my-heart-breaks/
- Brittany’s Post: http://thegreerfive.com/2009/12/for-shellie/
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im going to remove this bottom statement to keep things on focus. But if you read it before, I mean it.
I just commented on Shynea’s post saying that it’s so scary to realize how quickly things can happen. As mothers, no matter if we know Shellie or not, it’s impossible to keep from being affected by this because the mere thought of experiencing what she is going through turns us inside out in agony. My prayers and thoughts are with her family. It’s hard to believe because I don’t think anyone wants to accept that a woman’s baby is gone. It’s just so hard
I posted about @Military_Mom and @KristineBrite last night… two so very painful situations: http://senilemomentia.com/2009/12/tragedy-loss-christmas/
I pray that her family finds comfort in celebrating his life and knowing how lucky they were to have had him in theirs, even for such a short time. He was truly precious.
I cant stop the tears and I don’t know her, her son, or her blog. I can not imagine the loss. My heart just goes out to her and her family.
What a tragedy. My heart can’t hardly stand it, I can’t begin to imagine what she’s going through. My prayers are with her and her family. Thank you for all you’re doing. I wrote a post last night encouraging others to pray. http://beauty4moms.blogspot.com/2009/12/mothers-worst-nightmare.html
Thanks so much for the update. There are no words to compare with what everyone else has said already, but I’m so happy to see all of the support coming her way. I don’t know her at all, but I can’t begin to fathom what she is going through. My heart, thoughts and prayers are with her.
Your opening story of finding your daughter near the pool is so right on. Parents cannot be with their child every waking minute of the day and I am horrified that people are reacting to this raw grief with hurtful accusations.
You are right, this is Shellie’s story to share if, when and how she chooses to.
My love and prayers to her family at this difficult time.
I woke up thinking the same thing. It’s horrible.
Trisha, Just wanted to say THANK YOU! for your strong admonishment of those horrible people spreading hate. I am sickened at the lack of sympathy and humanity.
Shellie, love and prayers to you at this difficult time. My heart is breaking for you and your family.
My prayers are with her i couldnt imagine the grieve she is feeling god is there with her and so is her baby my colendences for her whole family
Thanks for keeping us posted. I pray that God can ease their pain. My thoughts and prayers are with them.
Hugs Shellie , we love you !
I am praying for Shellie and her family. Words cannot express how, wow, it is the one thing a mom shouldn’t have to experience.
Hi! I am sorry as I don’t really know what to say as nothing I can say will help to ease the pain of Shellie’s tragic loss, but I just want to let her & her family know that I will keep them in my thoughts & prayers. I am so sorry…
We love you Shellie.
Trisha,
I am praying so hard for Shellie. Thank you for keeping us updated. I am just sick over all of this. My heart is broken for a dear friend. But I know as a community we will all help her!
Really sad and sick that people find reason to judge. Prayers for Shellie, there can be no worse fate than to lose your child.
That is so sad. I saw a post about this at Cat’s blog. I don’t know Shellie, but she is in my thoughts and prayers (as is her family).
Thank you for telling every one to F*** off!!! I’m so livid at the stupid ignorant people.
All my love to Shellie and her family right now. Thank you for keeping us updated.
You are such a great friend to her, thank you for keeping us all posted. You made me cry with your blog post, and then the PS… actually made me smile – I love how you threatened the haters. I can not believe what morons people are, why in the earth anyone would do such a thing???
Shellie is incredibly lucky to be buffered by a community like yours- thank you for updating us truly concerned moms with her family’s welfare and thank you for telling those AWFUL, mean-spirited people who have nothing better to do than terrorize a grieving mother to FUCK OFF.
Thank you for the update, Trish. I am just waiting to hear what she could use (donation wise) and will post on my little blog, as well.
As for the haters.. talk about crossing the line. DISGUSTING!