Let me intro and say that I have hired a sexpert to talk to MomDot once a week. She will be coming on to talk about relationships, sex, and other interesting taboo subjects once a week. You can send in your relationship or sex questions to MomDot@live.com and I will forward them on to her. She is a blogger like yourself, but to maintain her privacy, we are not revealing WHO she is or her personal blog. That way she can be brutaly, up front honest with you. So please welcome her to the MomDot stage! ~trisha
Since we are all moms, let’s talk about something we should all be familiar with…getting it on with a bun in the oven, doing the nasty while knocked up…you know, sex (or a lack thereof) during pregnancy.
It seems to be common knowledge that during pregnancy women are either totally turned on or totally turned off. You either love it, crave it, can’t get enough of it, or loathe it, hate it and feel queasy just thinking about letting a naked hair man near you. Sometimes (if you’re like me) you will experience both mindsets during your nine gloriously glowing months, which can be quite the tense rollercoaster for your partner.
Raging hormones and added blood flow in certain areas of the body can cause women to be…well…horny. The new romantic notion of knowing what ya did to get into your current state can add to that as well. I experienced this frenzied-can’t-jump-his-bones-enough state early on in my pregnancy. My sex drive was quite healthy before that, but the hormones really kicked it up a notch. My husband seemed to enjoy this, although he seemed a lot more tired than I was, which was the opposite of what the pregnancy books had predicted (guess I wore him out).
Early on this can be great! Your belly is only slightly swelling but your boobs are growing significantly faster. If your husband is a “boob man” like mine, this is also quite enjoyable for him, although the constant need to point out the swelling of my bosom was quite annoying. You can also be on the other end of the spectrum as well, finding yourself too nauseous and too worried to even think about sex. Or you could be feeling like now is a time for a break, you obviously put out a couple weeks ago and did your part by creating an embryo, can’t he just leave you alone already?
Later on, like in the ever so big and clumsy third trimester things seem to get a bit tricky. I don’t know about you, but I was feeling less and less attractive each week my belly grew, my feet swelled up and my nose seemed to be growing like Pinocchio. Orgasms were strangely pleasant and troubling at the same time. I don’t think my uterus was enjoying the pleasurable contractions like it used to before a child started swimming around in there. Positioning became quite an ordeal as well. Let’s face it, there just isn’t a position in which we are comfortable and don’t feel like our man is looking at all our new curves and chins, and we are constantly aware of the fact that we are not supposed to lie flat on our backs.
There’s also the fact that we know our men are pleasuring themselves when we are not able to, and the whole post baby sex drought life, but we’ll cover those another day.
What I’d love to hear is how your pregnancy affected your sex life. Was it good, better than before, bad, ugly, or just downright nonexistent?
I think our sex drive is directly related to how we feel about ourselves. If we feel unattractive, unworthy, or see ourselves in a negative way the last thing we are going to want to do is be completely and totally vulnerable in front of another person.
I was nauseous and exhausted the first half, so hubby did not have much luck and in the second half I was such a whale, I couldn’t bear to contemplate the thought!
I was on and off at the beginning of pregnancy, but by the end there was no way! Over a year later, and my sex drive is still at 0. (Poor hubby!) I know something must be off hormonally, because this isn’t normal!
Maybe I should be putting in anonymous comments down here, the hubby may not be too happy with what I have to say about our sex life
To be rather general, the first few months, hubby was very, very happy with how things were, but when my belly started to get big, I didn’t want anyone touching me. I wasn’t comfortable sitting on the couch with my humongous belly, I wasn’t about to try to find a position in bed that I would be able to handle. Poor, poor hubby!
I would have fallen into the nonexistent category. My pregnancies wore me to a nub; I could barely crawl into bed each evening, much less put out for that man who put me in this position!
I do remember during my first pregnancy, towards the end, my husband thought we really needed to give it a go, but I became soooo frustrated with my migrating body parts that I couldn’t see HOW this could be fun. And that’s probably why it wasn’t. Attitude is everything.
Toro Stroller, Contest Edit Ribbon #18
Our sex life was better then ever. I have always had a high sex drive but it was in overload while pregnant. Hubby thought I was too hot with the growing belly and big boobs! So, knowing the fact that he desired me, well it made me even hotter. We did it lot’s the entire time up until the week before I was induced a week before my due date.
That last little bit was well yea, tricky..The position, well I won’t get into details, but it was comfortable for both of us, and it just seemed to work.