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When your kid has a good point.

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Last night we had an “incident”.

I just want to say this parenting thing…it’s hard. There is no cut and dry response, you do what you can, when you can and you hope that at the end your kids are alive and happy.  If you follow my Facebook page you may know that my daughters school recently started allowing tablets at school.

Yay* (dripping with sarcasm).

They  basically sent home a note approving tablets and encouraging every kid to get one for the class as they are going to be teaching on them. Now in Charlotte’s mind no problem. Our house is a techy one…we have ipads and iphones and all that jazz. But I honestly do not want to send them to SCHOOL. She sits at the bus with high schoolers and we think it could make her a target for theft or even get hurt if someone knows that she has a tablet in her bag.

And the school requires they go back home to be charged, so it’s not something we can just get her and leave in her classroom.

Basically Chris and I said no. Not no, but HELL no.

Originally she accepted our reasoning but now she is unhappy. They had “tablet” day yesterday and she is fully convinced she is one of the only kids that did not bring one.

And last night she told us that we are not giving her a “chance” to prove to us that she is responsible and that we treat her like a “little kid”.

She may be right. She is 9. She is pretty responsible. She listens. She babysits her brother. She is overall patient. She gets good grades. She needs just a tad bit too much reminding about taking a bath, unloading the dishwasher and going to the bus stop, but she is a good kid.

And I may be looking at her still as a little girl when she is actually growing up….


 “How will you know if you dont give me a chance.”

Its not that we expect something to happen to her, but we are trying to PREVENT something happening to her, the tablet, the whole situation. And it’s wrong on our part. We should allow her to make mistakes…or not make them.

I guess this is part of growing up for us as parents. And it’s hard.



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  1. Anna Schryver says:

    Tough call! I do not have any advice unfortunately but look forward to hearing how things turn out for my own selfish learning purposes :) Good luck Trisha!

  2. I hate when they use that phrase on us. Course I would be skeptical for any grade taking a tablet to school, okay minus high school. My 4th grader got technology day and I refused to let her even bring in a DS. I don’t want it broke or stolen. But yes this parenting thing is hard, you try so hard to be that perfect parent and not mess up your kid but at the same time you always wonder.

  3. I don’t think you’re wrong. You’re not so much preventing *her* from making a mistake, you’re preventing others from doing so (stealing, fighting, etc.). At her age she’s still innocent and naive and doesn’t understand what others are capable of. It’s not that you don’t trust her, it’s that you (quite rightly) don’t trust others.

  4. I completely understand your dilemma. While you trust and respect Charlotte, it is an expensive risk to take. Not to mention, as you said, you don’t want her to get hurt if someone tries to take it away from her.

  5. We have this conversation with Jake and it’s not that I don’t trust him, I don’t trust everyone else. He comes home distraught because kids are always touching his stuff, sometimes damaging it.

  6. I have always had that mentality with my daughter, who is now 11. She has always been a high honor or honor roll student. She is intelligent. She is well rounded with a good head on her shoulders. Her common sense and intellect are beyond that of her peers. For me, I had already prepared myself for the kind of relationship I wanted with my daughter in the future and how I would treat my daughter, if she were the daughter she is. I had a very broken relationship with my parents growing up, and one thing I disliked was that I never felt like my parents saw me for the responsible person I was. I was much like my daughter, as a child, a great kid but my parents didn’t seem to notice. I have this theory with my daughter; if she hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her, then I must try give her a chance. There are still some things that I won’t allow, such as walking downtown from her school to her brothers school for pick up – alone, but I have allowed some freedom such as she can cross the road after school to go to the library in town to wait for me to get her. I honesty don’t think bringing the tablet to school has as much to do with C as it does with the fact that it could get broken or stolen. While she is 9 and a great kid, that’s not to say a teen may harass or steal the tablet from her which I suppose is honestly something you can’t keep from happening in later years, but at age 9 that seems a lot to deal with … I’m not sure what I would do in this situation.

    • Im so worried about all the high schoolers at the bus stop…they took a phone out of a 13 year olds hand and took it home and it was ME that went and got it back (not his parents). I just worry about that with her. I dont want her getting hurt defending an electronic. I guess we have to instruct her to never take it out or talk about it.

      • My daughter has an iPhone and due to the delay between when I get my sons then her after school, as well as her extra-curricular activities and visits during school weeks with her Dad – I let her take the iPhone to school. It is always in a specific backpack pocket and not to be taken out a school for this very reason. It has worked well so far, this is the first school year she has had an Iphone carried back and forth…. I think that’s a good idea with C – just let her know not to allow others to know she is packing a tablet.

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